Sometimes it is simply your own stubbornness and stuck thinking that are holding you back.
This exercise asks you to be completely frank with yourself — asking some tough questions in a kindly voice to help you break through some of those nasty internal barrier success.
So grab a pen and, working swiftly, answer the following 10 questions for yourself with as much blazing honesty as you can muster:
What has stopped you from succeeding before this?
What’s your most likely form of self-sabotage?
If you found yourself engaging in that self-sabotage, how might you handle that?
What are you afraid might happen if you fail at this project?
How might you address the situation if that failure actually occurred?
What are you afraid might happen if you succeed at this project?
How might you address the situation if that success actually occurred?
What qualities do you possess that can help you move through this project?
What question has not been asked that you need
What is the truth? (Start by writing, “The truth is…”) You may notice that imagining the worst of both failure and success, and then imagining how those eventualities, helps you feel a bit more in the driver’s seat.
Fear paralyzes;curiosity cures.
Writing down the answers to these questions encourages you to give voice to the monsters under the bed, disarming them once and for all.
I know what I need to do, I just can’t make myself do it.
I watch endless YouTube videos, I play computer solitaire, I fool around on Facebook – I even scrub my kitchen floors – all just to avoid the work that I know is my destiny.
I get so mad at myself. Does this mean I’m chasing a Shadow Goal? What do I do?
– Elizabeth, N. J.
Dear Elizabeth,
Rest easy, honey – you are merely suffering from a biological imperative called “displacement activity.”
All Creative Geniuses get this from time to time.
Displacement activity is what happens when an animal is in the grip of two conflicting instincts, and so they enact a third, seemingly inappropriate behavior.
For example, you’ve probably seen a chimpanzee being challenged by another chimpanzee. When the first chimp doesn’t know whether to run away or fight, he will…scratch his head…yawn…look away….start grooming himself…
When you have the instinct to create, and you simultaneously have the instinct to not-create —
— the fear says, “don’t do it!”
(And yes, everyone suffers from this fear – celebrities, septuagenarians, kids, career professionals and me – everyone is sometimes afraid of putting their work out there. It’s terrifying.)
And so, confused by the grip of these two equally strong instincts, you shut down and get stuck playing Words With Friends for hours on end.
Sometimes years.
It doesn’t mean you have low self-esteem and it doesn’t mean your dream is impossible and it certainly doesn’t mean you’re lazy.
Shoot, you’re one of the hardest-working people I know. Right?
So the next time this happens, just recognize the dynamic without yelling at yourself.
“Ah,” you might say to yourself, “I appear to be having the instinct to create something. And I also find myself feeling afraid of what will happen if I create that thing. Perfectly natural.
But my fear does not get to make my decisions for me.
So I will now set my kitchen timer for 15 minutes and just play around with my creative idea in a light, fun, beta-testing sort of a way and then see what happens.”
Discover more about what keeps us stuck in my free, on-demand, downloadable webinar called Shadow Goals —
“Wow, Sam, I loved this! I’ve gone from feeling kinda blah and unsure to wanting to jump up and start. That’s pretty big for me, and I really want to thank you for that. I think a lot of people will find this incredibly helpful!” – K.
“Thank you SO much for your time, Samantha! This has been inspirational and hopeful for me….you’ve already given me some tools to use to move forward! Blessings to you!” – Deborah
“This call is invaluable so far to me. I’m being made redundant on the 1st of march and am in the middle of trying to choose what to do next and I think everything you’re saying is going to help me with this.” – Suzie, U.K.
Learn more about “Shadow Goals” here by watching the free replay: http://instantteleseminar.com/?eventid=26718078
Recently a client asked me how to tell the difference between the natural anxiety a person has when they’re moving forward into something new and the gut instinct that something is truly wrong for them. Good question, right?
And the answer is: I don’t think you can tell the difference. At least not right away.
Both of those feelings are so profoundly uncomfortable that it’s easy to see why some people stay stuck in the familiar. As my wise friend Amy Ahlers once told me, “If you are out of your comfort zone, you can expect to feel uncomfortable.”
I think the only solution is to take a few deep breaths, recognize that discomfort is part of change and then take a few small, manageable steps toward the new thing. Then you can look around and see how it all feels: are you feeling supported and excited? Are unexpected angels conspiring to help you? Are you enjoying yourself? Or are there roadblocks and potholes and feelings of wrongness?
Only once you have taken a few steps into the unknown territory can you determine if you should keep going or not. You can’t tell from where you are.
But do not underestimate how very uncomfortable it can feel to start to play in a bigger arena, to put your self out there, to begin a new work. You will feel vulnerable, afraid and very….exposed. And here’s what’s worse: no one will give you credit for your bravery. They will just sort of assume that it must be easy for you to publish, to perform, to create, to change your world. Because that’s just how cool you are.
(And also notice that you make that assumption, too. When your friend releases a new CD of original songs or mounts a gallery show or puts up their Etsy shop, you don’t automatically think of all the blood, sweat and tears they must have poured out to accomplish that work. You just think, “Oh. Cool. They did that.” So maybe next time give them a bit of a pat on the back, nu?)
You must hold your own hand, talk yourself off of whatever ledges you find yourself on, reward yourself with lots of treats, surround yourself with a few compatriots who will acknowledge your efforts and then…keep walking.
Pay attention to the foreboding feeling in your belly, but don’t let it make your decisions for you, OK?
Here’s Reason #6 in the “Why Procrastination Is Genius In Disguise” series:
Go HERE to get your recording of this information (it’s waaaaaaaaaay down at the bottom of the page): http://www.getitdoneteleclass.com/fall/
So far we’ve covered:
1) Procrastination is Genius because underneath the pain of it (the hunger pain), it reminds you of your true desire.
2) The nonstop nagging isn’t working (never does).
3) You haven’t moved forward yet because – for whatever reason – it just hasn’t been the right time. And maybe you’ve been a bit scared, which is OK, but we’re not going to let our fear make our decisions for us.
4) You need to get unstuck from the past, bless it correct, forgive yourself (easier said than done, I know) move on in the only way we can: from right here, right now.
5) Allotting some time and money each day to your project allows for incremental progress (baby steps!) and feels GREAT.
The Most Fun, Wackadoodle, Creative, Intuitive, Ingenious 5-Minute Breakthrough Exercise That The Get It Done Workshop Has Ever Invented (so far)
Now – the fun part!
This is a fairly new exercise, so I’d love to hear about your experience with it.
It is designed to help you access your intuition and your inner wisdom, and to help you think about both your project and your procrastination in a new way.
Once again: there are no rules. You can’t screw this exercise up. There is no “right” way to do it.
It’s also designed to be completed in less than 5 minutes.
So take a deep breath, get centered, and allow your imagination to play for a minute or two.
Work right off the top of your head. No pondering allowed.
Imagine A Piece Of Paper
Or, if you feel like drawing, grab yourself an actual sheet of paper.
Now, we’re going to create a little one-frame Fairy Tale about you and your project.
(And if you know anything about the power of myth in our lives, you know that this exercise is not quite as frivolous as it seems.)
The Princess
1) In one of the right-hand corners of the paper, draw an image, symbol or word that represents your project. This is the “princess locked in the tower.”
Again – don’t ponder – whatever idea rises to your mind first is the right one. If it turns out to be not-quite-right later on, you can always revise it. But for now, stick with your FIRST idea.
Maybe you’ve drawn a book cover, or maybe it’s a heart. Maybe it’s an actual princess wearing a nametag that says, “My Happiness.” Whatever you’ve drawn – hooray! Good start.
The Dragon
2) In front of the princess I want you to draw the dragon that stands in the way. This is the dragon of your procrastination.
Give the dragon a name and a shape. Maybe the dragon is a big ball of fire, or a brick wall. Maybe the dragon is a clock or a pile of clutter. Maybe it’s an actual dragon named, “Fear.”
Whatever occurs to you first is just perfect – just sketch it out quickly and don’t evaluate.
The Hero
3) Now in front of the dragon, in about the middle of the page or so, draw you. You are the hero of this story. Draw an image or word that represents you – don’t be afraid to have fun and be silly with this.
The Sword
4) Draw your weapon. This is the sword you will use to fight the dragon. So maybe it’s a sword named, “Good Taste” or it’s a light saber labled “TALENT.” Maybe it’s a smoke-screen or a bow and arrow or a pen or a camera or a flower. Allow yourself to imagine how this weapon is going to help you slay this dragon.
The Sidekick
5) Standing beside or behind you, draw your sidekick. Your sidekick is the person, organization or quality that you know you can count on, no matter what. Maybe it’s a friend or partner, or maybe it’s your sense of humor or your Inner Wisdom. Maybe it’s an angel or spiritual entity, or maybe it’s your MacBook. Just go with your first idea – one that makes you smile – and draw the image, word or shape that represents your trusty sidekick on this journey.
Your Loyal Fans
6) Excellent – almost done. Somewhere else on the page – wherever you like – I want you to draw an image or word that represents me and the participants of the Get It Done Teleclass. Whether you are enrolled in the class or not, I want you to know that we are with you, we are on your side and we have your back.
We believe in you. So if your faith in yourself ever falters, please borrow confidence from us – we know you can do it!
So you can draw us as another sidekick, or as an international army of artists marching over the hill to help you. Maybe we’re the stars in the sky shining down on you, or maybe we’re sound of applause. Whatever makes you feel supported, loved and cared for – draw that image or word.
Fabulous! You’re done! (The End.)
Make whatever finishing touches you like, and then take a moment to notice what this drawing has to teach you.
What are you taking away from this exercise?
What surprised you?
Did anything strike you emotionally?
Are you inspired to take any new action based on this drawing?
Has there been any shift in your attitude about your project or your procrastination? If so, what?
Feel free to use this exercise anytime you want to get unstuck from some old thinking and show your imagination a good time 🙂
If you want to get the recording of this information, go to www.GetItDoneTeleclass.com/fall and there’s also some more information about the upcoming 6-week Get It Done Teleclass (we start TOMORROW!) at http://sambennett.wpengine.com/workshops/get-it-done-workshop/
