Your good humor is as graceful as a baby giraffe,
Even if that joke you were trying to make to the hotel clerk fell flat
And your toast at the wedding came out sounding a little….funny.
But you have gifts that no one knows about.
You have the strength to bend in the wind
You have the joyful spirit that loves a good belly laugh,
You have the wisdom to understand that everything will all come out all right in the end and
You have the faith to light a candle rather than curse the darkness.
That is, if you could find the book of matches from that romantic restaurant that you went to for your anniversary but since you didn’t have a reservation they made you wait at the bar for half an hour during which you had two appletinis and the rest of the night is a bit of a blur.
So much for the overpriced lingerie.
You are beautiful.
You are beautiful.
Frazzled and overworked and underpaid
You are the one who forgot your wallet
And forgot your receipt for the dry cleaners
And forgot your keys which you just set down five seconds ago, so where could they possibly have gone?
But you never forget to say, “I love you”
And you never forget to give a big smile to that nice parking guy
And you never fail to show endless patience when the
Too-tightly wrapped and overly-conscientious start to offer their Oh-so-helpful suggestions about how you might feel better if you would just learn to alphabetize your spice rack.
You are beautiful.
So, wear the lingerie on Monday for no reason.
And why not just refuse to participate in the bake sale this year?
And give yourself a compliment for something you did well today.
Because you are the most beautiful woman I’ve ever known.
I have made a piece that everyone loves, but God, I don’t think it’s very good.
I know, it’s a weird problem to have.
The thing is, it’s not my best work. I feel uncomfortable being praised for
work I’m not that proud of. It’s hard enough receiving compliments I think I
do deserve, much less ones I know I don’t.
Oh. Wait.
I just remembered that I am not responsible for other people’s experiences
of my work.
I am only responsible for creating and curating my work.
And all of my work is made in praise of You.
So how can that ever be “less than?”
God, help me get over my own snobbishness, ego and false modesty. Help
me to feel the love that others are sharing with me.
Help me work and live always from the center of a joyful, humble heart.
Concealing the disobedient pounding of your heart
It dawns on you:
Here we go again.
And while you no longer allow yourself the long, elaborate
daydreams in which everything works out perfectly,
You catch yourself thinking: Well, it could happen.
And though you have long since given up making bargains
with God,
You find yourself whispering: Please.
And since you have — years ago — quit telling
Anyone anything about anything
Because honestly,
The things people say, such as,
“Oh, it will happen for you, I just know it!”
Really?
“I have a friend who went through the same thing and then one
day, just like magic. . .”
Really?
“The minute you stop wanting it, that’s when it will happen.”
Oh. Okay.
So you haven’t told a soul.
Except, after long consideration, your very dearest best friend.
And you know the odds are against you.
And still
You know that life is not a numbers game and
The Lord does, indeed, move in some very mysterious ways and
Haven’t you earned —
And there you stop short.
Because life is also not about earning or deserving,
And it doesn’t matter how hard you’ve tried or how much you’ve
sacrificed or how positive your positive mental attitude has
been.
What matters is reality.
And reality says: It’s possible.
So you dwell in possibility.
Between the dark and the daylight.
No longer storming off, slamming doors, and swearing, “Never
again.”
No longer crying out in agony because you had been so sure this
was It.
No longer elated by another promising sign.
You are here now.
Committed to enjoying the ride.
Trusting in the friendliness of the universe.
Awakened to your heart’s desire.
Knowing that there is no such thing as false hope.
It’s a cold, empty feeling, that not-having-faith-in-yourself feeling.
Especially in this bright-eyed American culture of mandatory optimism.
But some days, it’s just not there. You don’t feel worthy, you don’t feel special, you don’t feel like your projects are even worth your while, much less anyone else’s while.
And you think, “I’ve got to generate more faith in myself. I must believe in myself more. I must increase my confidence!” And like a child making a wish, you squish your eyes closed and clench your fists and search in vain for even the slightest spark of faith, feeling ever more desolate.
Now anyone can tell you that eyes-closed-and-fists-clenched is no way to engage with the world.
And nothing destroys faith more quickly than a voice saying, “You’ve got to have faith in yourself!” Ugh.
(Much like the directive, “Be creative,” a phrase that has the amazing power to instantly annihilate the creativity of every single person in earshot.)
Here’s the good news: you don’t need to generate faith.
You just need to accept it.
Faith is not something that you have find within, it is a gift that is given to you from without.
Faith has already been extended to you:
I have faith in you.
God (however you want to understand that word) has faith in you.
Your friends have faith in you.
Your customers, clients and students have faith in you.
Your favorite teachers have faith in you.
The flowers in the garden have faith in you.
Every newborn has faith in you.
All you need to do is open yourself up to OUR faith – humbly accept our belief that you can do the work and do it well – and begin.
You don’t need to fake confidence yourself; you need to borrow confidence from us.
After all, we’re pretty smart, and we know you pretty well, and truly, we have complete faith in you.
So open your eyes, open your hands and open your heart and allow yourself to feel the years and years of faith, confidence and praise that has been heaped upon you, and then, honey — get to work.
