You all might remember Audrey from the other day – she wrote me this:
“Hi Samantha!
I am on your email list and receive your beautiful poems and ideas.
I just wanted to thank you cause those emails have been inspiring for me.
I recently wrote something for my boyfriend that I titled: In Praise of The Stressed Worker inspired by your poems and that was the only way I could reach his heart. Everything else didn’t work but that poem that I did more for me in honor of him really spoke to him.
So thank you for the inspiration and also for all the love and understanding of others.
thank you, Audrey”
I had a request to publish her piece and she graciously agreed, writing,
“Hi Samantha!
You can for sure put it on your blog, I would be happy that you do because I really feel your beautiful mission and you indeed influence me to write but also helped me understand and accept my dad after the grumpy poem..:)
Thank you for asking. Audrey :)”
English is not Audrey’s first language, which I think really adds to the cadence and lilt of her writing.
It’s a pretty long piece, so here’s just the first stanza:
In Praise of the Stressed Worker
You sit there looking at your phone
Texting about work again
Even if you are supposed to be off
You got so used to that rhythm,
You know hotels by heart, eat out almost all the time, getting around pretty good. Sometimes you are craving for somebody to make you some nice comfort food.
You got so used to that rhythm, that sometimes you wonder what you would do if you had more time. Though, there is a list of things you aspire to do but you’re too busy right now. Maybe later.
You’re family guy with a big heart even if you can’t stand being around them too long.
And they all admire you and love you and care about you….
So now here’s my question for you: who in your life needs YOU to write them a poem? Will you do it?
Here’s how I know: because if you really needed to lose weight, you’d be doing it already.
In the same way that you always feel like you need more money, but it’s when the rent is due (or those shoes go on sale) that you actually find the money.
So if you’ve been torturing yourself about how you look and you are letting your mind be filled up with an endless swirl of thoughts like, “Why is my belly like that? And my hips. I used to be so much thinner. I should go to the gym. That girl over there is so skinny. I wish I looked like that. I wonder if I should try hula-hooping or pole dancing? Silly. I wish I could just snap my fingers and change my body. Maybe a juice fast? I don’t really like juice….”
(Familiar?)
Then I am here to tell you right now: CUT IT OUT.
(Now, clearly, if your weight is a medical issue and you still aren’t doing anything about it, then you must just rally all of your internal strength and get a bunch of people to help you right now. Seriously. I don’t care if you are thin or not, but I do care that you stay alive.)
I have a little story for you.
Here’s what happened:
I was meditating the other day (and, as usual, half-running my list of complaints about myself) when I suddenly felt a BOLT of energy – like a wrecking ball of energy had just hit me square in the chest – and I suddenly saw the complete absurdity of my endless self-criticizing.
1) I have a BEAUTIFUL life.
2) Life is very, very short.
Therefore, for me to spend ONE MINUTE obsessing about something as trivial as my weight is not just ridiculous, it’s a bit obscene. In the way that having a bowling alley in a private home is a bit obscene.
I was suddenly shocked at myself. That I would spend even one minute of this glorious life beating myself up seemed, at the very, very least, pitifully ungrateful.
I seized a pen and wrote:
My Poor, Ever-Lovin’ Body…
My precious, delightful, ungainly, grace-filled body
That has lived through
So much neglect
So much disdain
…and you have only ever loved me
Breathing for me even when I forget
Patient so patiently waiting for me to love you
Or even like you a little bit.
You always do your best
Even with me disapproving all the time
Oh the things I have said about you
Still you helped me as best you could.
Stockholm Syndrome.
Tell me what I’ve done
Show me every scar
Each tender spot
I’m noticing how soft your skin is
Right here
Right here
And this light I see in your eyes
How could I ever miss how beautiful you are?
© 2011 Samantha Bennett
So, as a consequence of that blazing moment I have started a new spiritual discipline:
I have spent the last several days mentally refusing to worry about how my body looks.
And I gotta tell you, it is appalling how many times an hour I start to think, “Oh, my weight is so…” and then I have to say to myself, “Stop. Think about something more interesting.”
And then 3 minutes later I’m right back. “My thighs…” and then, “Stop. Think about something more interesting.”
I cannot begin to count the amount of time I have spent over the years just idly hating myself.
Well, as of now, I am reclaiming that time and that mental energy.
I have made a sign for over my desk that says:
IF YOU ARE THINKING ABOUT YOUR WEIGHT YOU ARE JUST BORED.
GET BACK IN THE GAME.
And I challenge you to do the same.
Let me know how it goes, OK?
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New Year. New Poem. Enjoy!
Women Who Workshop
A scarf from India
A top that’s Loose around the Middle
Very, very, very Sensible Shoes
And an Unceasingly Kind expression
(The uniform of individuality).
You, the Bright-Eyed.
You, the Generous volunteer.
You, still working out That Stuff with your dad.
In hotel ballrooms and
Church basements and
Yoga studios and
Campgrounds and
Korean spas and
Montana ranches, Bahamian Beaches and the
Herbalist’s office
You are becoming.
It’s so becoming.
You, becoming.
And you’ve learned to
Bring a sweater and a
Thermos of hot water and
Lots of extra tissues.
You have stood in a circle
You have lain prostrate
Your bookshelf groans with
Helping Insightful Books and
Your Journals burst with line
After line
Documenting
Your becoming.
You’re becoming.
You are becoming.
Sensual
Intellectual
Hard-headed
Tender-hearted
(so tender-hearted)
With your Full-Moon Necklace and your
Chakra-Balancing Necklace and the
Beautiful Gold Ring that you
Hand-forged in that Post-Divorce Workshop
Out of the engagement ring from your First Marriage and the
Wedding band from your Second
Now you marry only yourself.
Standing before your Altar
You promise to
Love
Honor and
Cherish
Yourself
From this day forward.
You recognize that some might call it an
Indulgence
To spend time and money on
The Issues That Challenge You.
But those people can screw off (compassionately)
Because the Rush of
Self-realization when you finally put That Betrayal behind you
The poem you wrote about your daughter that
Still makes you cry
(And OK, fine – that delirious eight-day affair with that Yoga Guy –
Sweet Heaven he was gorgeous – and so bendy – )
Cannot be matched by anything that can be
Found inside your own condo.
You have found freedom.
You have healed your Inner Child and
Embraced your Inner Queen.
You are even developing a side-long glance
Relationship with the word “Crone.”
You are curious – becoming – laughing – becoming – stretching –
Because as the wise woman said If You Stop Stretching You Die – sharing –
Because that’s what Heaven’s Children do –
Rejoicing in your growing awareness that no Workshop Intensive
In the world is better than your own becoming
Coming to be.
© 2011 Samantha Bennett
Stay alit with good ideas.
Stay alit with kind thoughts.
Stay alit with amusement.
Stay alit with compassion.
Stay alit by thinking of the children you cherish.
Stay alit by remembering the ones you love who’ve gone on.
Stay alit by humming a little tuneless tune to yourself.
Stay alit by questioning your assumptions.
Stay alit by exploring.
Stay alit, alive and beautiful by spending 15 minutes today on the project that means the most to you.
In Praise Of Those
Last Ten (…Or Twenty…) Pounds
Oh, you ten (…or
twenty…) pounds…
You remind me:
I am not a teenager
anymore
(Thank God)
My life is not lived
just for me alone anymore
(Thank God)
I’ve got good food and
good wine and good appetite
Thank God.
You jiggle a bit.
It’s not a bloat; it’s a
blessing.
Softer.
Stronger.
You have lived through
the unthinkable.
Those friends who have
gone –
The love and grief for
them that remains –
Is that part of the ten
pounds?
The jobs well done that
no one praised –
Is that a pound or two?
And those ice-sharp playground
taunts, those adolescent bone-aches,
That twenty-something
battle for Self – ferocious –
Where is the weight of
that?
Jealousy does not become
us.
Ten pounds hardly seems
like a distinction worth making when
One body is so much like
Another.
Feet Leg Belly Back Arms
Head Hands
Not all of us have every
part and
There might be an organ
that’s not quite working right or
A hormone that’s out of
whack
We’ve all been a little
Damaged in transit.
But here we are.
Here to criticize
ourselves
Here to be a better
example to our daughters and our sons
Here to shove the
photo-shopped images out of the way and say
This is what the Body of
a Person looks like.
This is the truth of me.
All of me.
Only me.
And remember, if twenty
years from now you would find a photograph of you taken today you’d think, “Wow
– I had no idea how beautiful I was.”
So let’s put on the
bathing suit and go swimming.
Let’s invite our lover’s
hand to caress our belly.
And let’s put on lovely
clothes that fit and
Give away those
not-our-size-now clothes
Because believe me, one
of your
Brothers or Sisters (who
do not enjoy the luxury of excess) could really
Use those and Lord knows
they’re not doing you any good
Just cluttering up the
closet
Torturing you.
So we stand naked and
say,
“Thank you, Body, for
loving me so well and so long.”
Offering a blessing on
This Body
Whose
Shadow
Leaves an
Imprint
On the
Air
We Breathe.
© 2010 Samantha Bennett
By The Way, You Look
Really Great Today
www.TheOrganizedArtistCompany.com
Ode To The Small Business Practitioner, or, Oh, You American Dreamer
And as you stand there
Wondering
About your Search Engine Optimization and
Curious if this new Seminar might really be of some help and
Kicking Yourself A Little for all the Work that is piling up as we speak
Let us now praise you.
You, the Wondering, the Curious, the Kicking Yourself A Little.
You, the Founder, President, CEO, Chief Cook and Bottle Washer who WILL
Double your sales this year.
You, the American Dreamer.
You are made of stern stuff.
You hopped off the Merry-Go-Round
(or maybe you were pushed)
And now you live in this New World of
Checking Google Analytics and
Waking up with a Great Idea at 4am and
Telling your family: Yes, I’ll be right there – I just have to do this
One
Quick
Thing.
And while you may grimace when you hear your friends say,
“Wow, it must be great to work in your pajamas” and
“Wow, it must be so great to be your own boss” and
“Wow, are you lucky!”
It’s true.
It is great to work in your pajamas and
Be your own boss and
Yes
You are lucky.
Lucky to be here now in this time of Unprecedented Opportunity.
Lucky to have this passion for Your Work.
And even though you might start making
Hysterical Hyena-like Sounds the next time some Pessimist mutters, “Well, in this Economy…” and even though
The Loneliness of being The Boss can sometimes be a hot, shimmering desert of aching solitude and
Even though
Even though
Even though…
You wouldn’t have it any other way because
Now you know what you did not know before.
Now you know:
Always. Back. Up.
And now you know:
Always have someone proofread, especially the dates and the phone numbers.
And now you know:
Always test all the Action Links
(And don’t just hit the “send test” button because I think that sends from a different server so you need to actually create a “find people” test list made up of dummy addresses that you set up in Yahoo and Gmail and your own webmail and, if you have to, even AOL, so you can see what people are actually getting in both HTML and Text-Only – trust me, it’s totally worth the hassle.)
And now you know:
Always trust your instincts. Always.
Because it is your instincts that have
Brought you this far and
It is your instincts that will
See you safe home.
So dream on, you Gladiators of the Kitchen Table.
And as soon as you can figure out
What the hell API integration actually is,
I have no doubt that you will do it.
You are living The Dream.
You are living Our Dream.
Long live this Vibrant, Gritty, Hard-Fought, Hard-Won, Capricious, Eclectic, Heart-Pounding, Soul-Stirring, Headache-Inducing, Detail-Oriented, Incessant, Unstoppable, Terrifying, Tantalizing,
Who-Needs-A-Penthouse-Of-Chrome-And-Glass-
When-Dad’s-Old-Chevy-Runs-Just-Great?
Why-Don’t-They-Teach-This-Stuff-In-School?
Jump-On-In-The-Water’s-Fine and
I’m-Sure-Next-Quarter-Will-Be-Better and this is
So-Much-Harder-Than-I-Could-Have-Thought
So-Much-Better-Than-I-Ever-Could-Have-Imagined
Heartfelt
(Bloodied But Unbowed)
American Dream.
© 2010 Sam Bennett I All Rights Reserved
By The Way, You Look Really Great Today
