You’re old, you’re tired, you’ve already tried it, it’s somebody else’s turn, who cares, you’re over it, no way, not again, oh, please, forget it plus what’s the use anyway…
I feel that way too, sometimes. It’s usually a sign that I need to take a rest. Possibly several rests.
Discouragement and battle-fatigue get to all of us eventually, but the only real problem comes when you start to feel that despair is a permanent condition.
Because it’s not.
Your spirit (once it gets some rest) is an irredeemable optimist.
Your heart’s true nature is: exuberance.
Your mind is always turning toward the better, the improving, the, “well, we could try…”
And maybe those little green sprigs of hopeful thoughts cause you to groan.
“Oh, not again…” you sigh.
But, yes. Again.
And again.
And again.
And again and again and again and again and again and again and again.
And then a few thousand more times.
Because that is your real self – as resilient as a child and as bouyant as a red balloon. It’s OK. It’s the human condition. We’re tinkerers, improvers, dreamers, thinkers, grass-is-always-greener-ers.
We keep moving. (That’s the hunter-gatherer in us – always on to the next idea.)
Here’s my test: as long as you still have a solid sense of humor about Whatever-It-Is that’s wearing you out, then you’re OK.
If, however, you are feeling rather consistently grim and humorless, then it’s time for a new strategy. So rest. Do whatever it is you do to get your mojo back. Then look around, see where you are and check out the little new ideas that have started dancing around your head.
See – there you go again – dreaming new dreams. For all of us.
I thought you all might enjoy both considering this question (and how it does or doesn’t show up in your life) and then answer it for yourself. If your answer differs from mine at all, I’d love to hear it!
Dear Sam,
Hey the topic I wanted to visit at the end of the last session was on creating urgency in my works and life passions. I prefer to be pulled to my works and called to my passions. Inspiration rather than motivation is what I seek. I have many fun projects both short and long term as well as key life goals such as co-creating my soulmate in my life. The closer I seem to get the more resistance shows up in the form of artificially slowing down my actions.
How I can create pull and inspiration on a consistent, eyes on the prize, moment to moment basis is what I believe I am looking for now. I can be fired up for a day or two and then…
I appreciate your input oh wise goddess of GID.
Smiles,
Jim
Author of the upcoming book: Abu-Dance: Dancing with Abundance
Dear Jim –
Great question.
By definition, inspiration is a drawing in of a divine influence – esp. through the breath. So it might help to think of your daily actions as 15 minutes worth of deliberate “breathing” and then all-day worth of noticing your “breathing” whenever it comes up. In other words, maybe you spend 15 minutes on “attracting a soulmate” activities and then spend all day noticing how you are being/becoming the perfect soulmate for the world.
A few more tips:
1) Get a bigger carrot. Tie each action to a truly delightful prize. Acknowledge each tiny victory in some significant way. Reward your inner nine-year old in a very tangible way each day.
2) Get a shorter stick. Create barely-realistic deadlines and then beat them. Maybe think in 4-day increments. What would you love to have completed by this Monday?
3) Get a friend. Partnering with someone else (in the Get It Done group or not) who is also working on goals and agreeing to check in every day can be a terrific way to stay on track.
4) Cultivate your intuition. Allowing your “belly wisdom” to determine your next inspired right action might fight off the paralyzing slow-down.
Wear something different today.
Have something unusual for lunch.
Drive a different route home.
Listen to a different radio station.
Change your catch-phrase.
Learn a new computer skill.
Shop in a different grocery store.
Try a new beverage.
Shake up your workout routine.
Varying your routine – even in the smallest and most incremental way – can shake loose a whole bunch of delightful new thoughts.
You get to choose at least some of the elements of your life, so enjoy exercising that privilege, OK?
Also – if money is the only reason you’re not doing this, then call me right now at 818-468-0540 and we’ll work something out, OK? Good.
So far we’ve covered:
1) Procrastination is Genius because underneath the pain of it (the hunger pain), it reminds you of your true desire.
2) The nonstop nagging isn’t working (never does).
3) You haven’t moved forward yet because – for whatever reason – it just hasn’t been the right time. And maybe you’ve been a bit scared, which is OK, but we’re not going to let our fear make our decisions for us.
4) You need to get unstuck from the past, bless it correct, forgive yourself (easier said than done, I know) move on in the only way we can: from right here, right now.
5) Allotting some time and money each day to your project allows for incremental progress (baby steps!) and feels GREAT.
6) You can allow your intuition and your imagination to help you to create a new vision of your future. You have the weapons and the support to slay your Procrastination Dragons and rescue your Projects from the tower!
Also – if money is the only reason you’re not doing this, then call me right now at 818-468-0540 and we’ll work something out, OK? Good.
Now, let’s get you moving forward on your project TODAY.
“Could Do” Lists
First of all, get out a piece of paper and title it, “Could Do.”
This is because I think “To-Do” lists are dictatorial and they make me feel pressured and antsy and reluctant and even belligerent – like a high-schooler who’s being harassed to do her homework: pouty!
But “Could Do” puts me in a place of choice.
I could do the laundry, or I could walk around in nasty dirty clothes. I have a choice 🙂 Even if it’s something I know I must do, I feel more relaxed if I remember that I have the option to not do it.
Plus, we’re not trying to think of things that you WILL do for sure, we’re just brainstorming things that you COULD do. Maybe you will and maybe you won’t – we don’t know yet. We’ll have to see how you feel when we’re done.
(And sometimes writing down something that you would never, ever in a million years do can inspire some great idea that you’re really eager to do.)
1) Write down the name of someone who could really help you out on this project. Maybe it’s someone you know, or maybe it’s a hero who inspires you, or maybe it’s even someone from ancient history who might serve as an imaginary guide.
You might also want to make a note about how they might be of assistance. Could they give you advice? Introduce you to someone? Cheerlead? Proofread?
I have noticed that while people are fairly indifferent to generalized requests like, “I wish someone would help me…(sigh)” specific requests like, “Could you give me dialogue notes on Act One?” or, “Could you recommend a good watercolor instructor?” are usually responded to swiftly and in the affirmative.
2) Write down the name of someone who will NOT help you out on this project. It might be someone who will be helpful to you down the road (but not right now), or someone you know who is always a big ol’ Debbie Downer…but take a moment to think about the person with whom you will not discuss your project today.
Notice that it doesn’t mean that you don’t love them, admire them, value their opinion, whatever – it just means that as of today, you are going to consider the option of keeping this project out of their sticky, sticky hands.
3) Write down one simple, easy and affordable step you might take toward your project. This should be something that will take you less than 15 minutes and that you can very easily afford.
That’s right – I’m talking BABY STEP.
What is some tiny, incremental gesture you might make toward your project today?
Something you could research?
Some tool you could buy or borrow?
Some small action you could take?
Some doodle or outline you could sketch out?
Some phone call or email you could easily execute?
Yep. That’s it.
That’s all there is to it. If you do this every morning (BEFORE you check your email!) you will make astounding progress and – bonus – you will feel GREAT.
Because as much as procrastination hurts your heart, moving forward – even just a little, tiny bit – feels absolutely wonderful.
Good luck!
And please, stay in touch with me and let me know how it all unfolds for you. I love hearing from you!
Also – if money is the only reason you’re not doing this, then call me right now at 818-468-0540 and we’ll work something out, OK? Good.
______________________________________
“Your tele-seminar was awesome from start to finish — and you’ve motivated and encouraged me greatly just in this one session! THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!! Life has been very challenging, and you’ve given me practical, creative ways to fit working on my own dreams/goals into each day. I appreciate the time you gave us, sharing your expertise and gift of encouragement through your caring heart. I will put into practice what you’ve offered/shared… to realize that the world needs what I have to offer, because I’m the only one who can do what I do — that we’re all unique with unique gifts and ways of expressing those gifts. THANK YOU, SAMANTHA!!!!!!!!!”
– Sandra H., actress
“Thanks for offering such an insightful teleconference on procrastination. You really delivered lots of practical information, exercises and tips. The exercises are straightforward, easy to use and yield “can do” action steps. Very impressive! So many of these “free” calls are mostly fluff and advertising!
I appreciate the insight that the brains of creative people get overloaded and shut down because of too many variables and unknowns. That right there explains a lot!”
Elizabeth Hyland, M. Div.
Author of Surviving The Unemployment Roller Coaster: From Stress To Success
www.UnemploymentRollerCoaster.com
“I loved this morning’s call and I got a LOT from it that I’m sure I’ll use. I love your energy and the way you cut through resistance quickly in simple ways … so I’d love to work with you because I’m sure your ideas will be helpful.”
Here’s Reason #6 in the “Why Procrastination Is Genius In Disguise” series:
Go HERE to get your recording of this information (it’s waaaaaaaaaay down at the bottom of the page): http://www.getitdoneteleclass.com/fall/
So far we’ve covered:
1) Procrastination is Genius because underneath the pain of it (the hunger pain), it reminds you of your true desire.
2) The nonstop nagging isn’t working (never does).
3) You haven’t moved forward yet because – for whatever reason – it just hasn’t been the right time. And maybe you’ve been a bit scared, which is OK, but we’re not going to let our fear make our decisions for us.
4) You need to get unstuck from the past, bless it correct, forgive yourself (easier said than done, I know) move on in the only way we can: from right here, right now.
5) Allotting some time and money each day to your project allows for incremental progress (baby steps!) and feels GREAT.
The Most Fun, Wackadoodle, Creative, Intuitive, Ingenious 5-Minute Breakthrough Exercise That The Get It Done Workshop Has Ever Invented (so far)
Now – the fun part!
This is a fairly new exercise, so I’d love to hear about your experience with it.
It is designed to help you access your intuition and your inner wisdom, and to help you think about both your project and your procrastination in a new way.
Once again: there are no rules. You can’t screw this exercise up. There is no “right” way to do it.
It’s also designed to be completed in less than 5 minutes.
So take a deep breath, get centered, and allow your imagination to play for a minute or two.
Work right off the top of your head. No pondering allowed.
Imagine A Piece Of Paper
Or, if you feel like drawing, grab yourself an actual sheet of paper.
Now, we’re going to create a little one-frame Fairy Tale about you and your project.
(And if you know anything about the power of myth in our lives, you know that this exercise is not quite as frivolous as it seems.)
The Princess
1) In one of the right-hand corners of the paper, draw an image, symbol or word that represents your project. This is the “princess locked in the tower.”
Again – don’t ponder – whatever idea rises to your mind first is the right one. If it turns out to be not-quite-right later on, you can always revise it. But for now, stick with your FIRST idea.
Maybe you’ve drawn a book cover, or maybe it’s a heart. Maybe it’s an actual princess wearing a nametag that says, “My Happiness.” Whatever you’ve drawn – hooray! Good start.
The Dragon
2) In front of the princess I want you to draw the dragon that stands in the way. This is the dragon of your procrastination.
Give the dragon a name and a shape. Maybe the dragon is a big ball of fire, or a brick wall. Maybe the dragon is a clock or a pile of clutter. Maybe it’s an actual dragon named, “Fear.”
Whatever occurs to you first is just perfect – just sketch it out quickly and don’t evaluate.
The Hero
3) Now in front of the dragon, in about the middle of the page or so, draw you. You are the hero of this story. Draw an image or word that represents you – don’t be afraid to have fun and be silly with this.
The Sword
4) Draw your weapon. This is the sword you will use to fight the dragon. So maybe it’s a sword named, “Good Taste” or it’s a light saber labled “TALENT.” Maybe it’s a smoke-screen or a bow and arrow or a pen or a camera or a flower. Allow yourself to imagine how this weapon is going to help you slay this dragon.
The Sidekick
5) Standing beside or behind you, draw your sidekick. Your sidekick is the person, organization or quality that you know you can count on, no matter what. Maybe it’s a friend or partner, or maybe it’s your sense of humor or your Inner Wisdom. Maybe it’s an angel or spiritual entity, or maybe it’s your MacBook. Just go with your first idea – one that makes you smile – and draw the image, word or shape that represents your trusty sidekick on this journey.
Your Loyal Fans
6) Excellent – almost done. Somewhere else on the page – wherever you like – I want you to draw an image or word that represents me and the participants of the Get It Done Teleclass. Whether you are enrolled in the class or not, I want you to know that we are with you, we are on your side and we have your back.
We believe in you. So if your faith in yourself ever falters, please borrow confidence from us – we know you can do it!
So you can draw us as another sidekick, or as an international army of artists marching over the hill to help you. Maybe we’re the stars in the sky shining down on you, or maybe we’re sound of applause. Whatever makes you feel supported, loved and cared for – draw that image or word.
Fabulous! You’re done! (The End.)
Make whatever finishing touches you like, and then take a moment to notice what this drawing has to teach you.
What are you taking away from this exercise?
What surprised you?
Did anything strike you emotionally?
Are you inspired to take any new action based on this drawing?
Has there been any shift in your attitude about your project or your procrastination? If so, what?
Feel free to use this exercise anytime you want to get unstuck from some old thinking and show your imagination a good time 🙂
If you want to get the recording of this information, go to www.GetItDoneTeleclass.com/fall and there’s also some more information about the upcoming 6-week Get It Done Teleclass (we start TOMORROW!) at http://sambennett.wpengine.com/workshops/get-it-done-workshop/
For years I resisted the word “perfectionist.” I thought that word sounded simplistic and anal-retentive. It reminded me of surface-obsessed people running white gloves over lampshades and endlessly rearranging boring red long-stemmed roses in cut crystal vases.
“Perfectionism” sounded like a hobby for people who didn’t have anything better to do with their time.
But at the same time, I found myself exhibiting the following behaviors:
endlessly thinking everything all the way through and not really being able to stop
not really trusting anyone else to do things properly
feeling that if I couldn’t succeed, I probably oughtn’t to try
being convinced that other people were constantly judging me and my work
needing other people to notice and appreciate how hard I was working all the time
unwilling to start something unless I was pretty sure I could rely on the outcome
having unrealistic, if not impossible, expectations of myself
having unrealistic expectations of what I could accomplish in any given time period
Now, it’s true that the above behaviors are exhibited by almost everyone at one time or another. And for an artist, well, “achieving the impossible” is practically our favorite thing.
Some of the greatest works of all time were the result of some artist pouring totally insane amounts of money, time, energy and life-force into a project everyone else thought was totally crazy.
But perfectionism wasn’t causing me to pour energy into my projects; perfectionism was preventing me from working.
Has that ever happened to you? How did you break the cycle?
