Dear Sam:
I have a question. The book that I want to write…I am wondering if it will be useful or if anyone would want to read it.
What do I do with this feeling of ‘who cares about your work, all the effort you put in is useless….’
If you could help I would be grateful.
Best,
A.
Dear A.,
Every single person throughout human history suffers from self-doubt, secretly believes they are a fraud and wonders if anyone will care about their work.
You are not alone.
In fact, your doubts may be part of what makes you an artist. I’ve heard it said that only dilettantes and amateurs never doubt their talent.
And I’ve noticed that the more daring the creative idea, the more vicious and violent those critical inner voices can become.
So over time, I’ve learned this:
the louder & meaner the voices in my head are, the greater the probability that I’ve just had a really juicy idea.
Think of it this way: the voices in your head are trying to keep you safe.
They don’t want you to put yourself in a vulnerable position.
They try to scare you into inaction by telling you that no one will care about your work. Or worse, that people will judge you harshly.
But art is about making yourself vulnerable.
That’s kind of the point.
Or at least part of the point.
And let’s face facts – it’s possible that you will create something that other people don’t care for.
Fear of failure is entirely reasonable. But it’s no reason not to do your work.
As long as your work remains unwritten in your head, it has no effect on anyone.
Except you. And then not in a good way.
Once you let your idea out of the hermetically sealed vault of your brain and out into the fresh air, the idea will immediately start to evolve. The minute you get it down on a piece of paper, it will change.
And then, once you let it out of the house – once someone else gets to experience it – then you are all changed.
You are changed.
The project is changed.
The audience is changed.
That’s the alchemy of art.
And here’s a real-life example:
Nedi, a vivacious member of my 365 Club, worked with her son to compose a song about Autism.
She finally got the courage to get it mastered, and she posted it online.
She started getting emails and responses – including one from Kate Winslet’s Golden Hat foundation (http://www.goldenhatfoundation.org/) and then she created a Kickstarter Project to move the project into its next phase: http://kck.st/NBCsLo
Here’s what Nedi herself said:
Before three weeks ago, I thought to myself “Who cares if I do my 15 minutes?”
But THEN a little voice said to me, “Samantha would care.”
So, on the off chance that the voice was right, and to keep myself on track: I will tell you that I completed 30 min. the first week, 60 the next, and since yesterday’s call – 90 min!
Much Gratitude and Affection,
NEDI
Inspiring, right?
Those critical voices will always be with you. I’ve never met an artist who didn’t struggle against them. Me included.
It’s up to you to decide if they get to run the show.
I can’t guarantee you that getting your work out there will always lead to success.
I can guarantee you that not getting your work out there will always lead to feelings of failure.
If you would like a very inexpensive way to get some additional encouragement and support, you might enjoy participating in the extremely groovy membership club I’ve started — we’re having a blast!
Please let me know how it goes for you.
Remember: The World Needs Your Art.
A PRAYER FOR THE CAPABLE
And as you stand there
On time and
Appropriately clad for the event
With a high-fiber bar in your bag
And extra pens
Let us take this moment to applaud you.
You, the prepared.
You, the accomplished.
You, the bills-paid-on-time and the-taxes-done-in-March.
You, who always returns the shopping cart.
You, who never throws a tantrum.
While the moody, the irresponsible, the near-hysterical and the rude seem to get
All the attention
Let us now praise you.
Just because everyone always expects you
To do well
Does not make it any less remarkable
That you always do so well.
So thank you.
For picking up the slack
For not imposing
For being so kind
And mannerly
And attending to all those pesky details.
Thank you for your consideration
Your generosity
For always remembering and never forgetting:
That a job well done is its own reward
That the opportunity to help someone else is a gift
That the complainers, the cry-babies, the drama queens, the never-use-a-turn-signals, the forgetful, the self-involved, the choleric, the phlegmatic and the your-rules-don’t-apply-to-me-types
Need you to rebel against in order to look like rebels.
You provide the lines – for without the lines, what would they color outside of?
So take a minute
To pat yourself on the back
And say, “Job well done.”
And as you consider someday
Showing up stoned
Or unprepared
Or not at all
And as you imagine someday being imperious
Or demanding
Or the one with the temper
Hear the unspoken “thank you” from a
Grateful nation that is a
Better, smarter, calmer, easier, friendlier and more organized place
Thanks to you
And your dogged diligence.
You are beautiful.
You are precious to us.
You are the hand that calms the water, the wheel that never squeaks, the one we all rely on
And while you probably would have remembered to send a thank-you note,
We forgot.
And just because everyone always expects you
To do well
Does not make it any less remarkable
That you always do so well.
And I would tell you to take the afternoon for yourself
Or sleep in tomorrow
But I’m pretty sure you already have plans.
So just take this very moment right now
To appreciate you
And all that you have done and done well
Even by your own high standards.
And remember:
You are beautiful.
And just because everyone always expects you to
Do well
Does not make it any less amazing, delightful or delicious that
You always do so well.
© Samantha Bennett 2014
There is only one thing that ever changed the world: A NEW STORY.
So if you want to change the world, you must begin to tell a new story.
Stop repeating the stories created by the info-advert-tain-u-ment industry.
Instead:
Look closely and notice something remarkable about the world.
Be still.
Listen.
Ask a question you’ve never thought of before.
Tell a new story.
Stop repeating your old stories about yourself and what you are and are not capable of.
Instead:
Look closely at your life and notice something unusual.
Be still. Do not rush to judgment.
Listen.
Ask yourself something about you that no one has ever asked before.
Tell a new story.
Stop rehearsing stories about the future.
Instead:
Look closely and notice that which is the same as it ever was. (#sameasiteverwas)
Be still.
Listen to the rhythm of history as it meets a new beat.
Tell a new story.
I talk to people every day who say,
“I’m not sure what to write/create…”
And I say,
“Of course you don’t.
You haven’t done it yet.”
Luckily, it’s not too late.
And the world is desperate for your story.
Please –
Tell us a new story.
OK, look – I didn’t want to be the first one to mention it….
but you’ve got a Hot Pink Octopus
and it’s wrapped all around you.
You can’t get away from her.
You can pry off one arm, but she’ll wrap it somewhere else.
Maybe somewhere that tickles.
You can try to hide from her…..
but you know a 600-lb Hot Pink Octopus can fit through a hole the size of a quarter…
so she follows wherever you go.
She’s been with you forever.
She’s your creativity.
She’s your stories.
She’s the uncanny sense that you have been put on this earth in this
incarnation to
share your words
share your vision
share your voice
She’s the part of you that knows better than you —
and the less you try and manhandle her, the better.
Babe, you were put here to share your octopus.
And when you share her,
and people love her or don’t,
you can know that it’s not You that they love or don’t,
it’s your Hot Pink Octopus.
Your Hot Pink Octopus might even win awards
or make you a fortune
or connect you with other Cephalopods
And together, you can do great things.
Quit fighting her.
Quit trying to ignore her.
Quit pretending like she doesn’t matter,
or that you can only make time for her once everything else gets done,
which never happens.
The world needs your Hot Pink Octopus:
Her shape-shifting wisdom…
Her gift of camouflage…
Her endless curiousity….
Her remarkable ability to adapt and learn…
She’s been on this planet for almost 200 million years.
Let her speak.
Funny how we let ONE casual remark derail our dreams, isn’t it?
That one thing that one teacher said that one time has kept you paralyzed since middle school.
That callous remark from a casual acquaintance stopped you cold.
Even after all the smiles and support and even REQUESTS (!!!)
“Say, when are YOU going to write your book?”
“Do you have a book?”
“If you wrote a book I would totally buy it.”
just one discouraging word….
and you retreat.
You tuck your book dream back under the mattress where it continues to invade your nightly reveries.
I get it.
Book writing is:
complicated – where to start?
creatively confounding – what to write?
confusing – who would read it?
I got you.
I’m leading Figure Out Your Book In One Day on Jan. 4th for the third or fourth time, and if you show up, we will banish those clouds once and for all.
Satisfaction guaranteed.
(I mean, obviously, if it’s perfect for you, I will sell it to you – but I won’t be pitching you. I’m only interested in working with people who are a great match and are willing to invest the time and money to see real progress. Because let’s face it, your diet of free stuff and pdfs and salesy webinars is just NOT moving the needle for you, correct?)
Plus it really helps me to hear directly from you what you’re up to, so you’d be doing me a favor.
Let’s go hang out together where the the heavens are bright/with the light of the glittering stars, and where those deer and those antelope play, shall we?
I’m going to tell you the truth:
I did not love this book while I was writing it.
I did not love this book while I was editing it.
Mostly because I was so ill with long c0vid that it was hard for me to love anything at all.
But I had faith.
And by the time I was in the booth recording the Audible version, I loved it.
I tell you this to underline this truth:
YOU ARE TERRIBLE JUDGE OF YOUR OWN WORK.
So judging
Stop evaluating.
Start writing.
The world needs your book – more than you even know.
If you would like to share some about your book project with me in a small group (no sales – just wisdom and mutual support) – please find a time here.
