What is your Little Thing?

What is your Little Thing?

What’s Your Little Thing?

Let’s start with something quite simple. What is one little thing that bugs you? It’s not about what enrages you, but those small annoyances that consistently nag at you. Write it down and feel free to share it, or keep it to yourself. It could be something as specific as the overuse of a word or the inconvenience of your walker catching on runners. Perhaps these small grievances aren’t even worth fixing, yet they linger.

A Step Further: What Delights You?

Move beyond annoyances and think about what delights you. The joy may come from a kind gesture, the productivity of editing travel photos, or spending quality time with loved ones. It’s important to identify these pleasures too.

Aligning with Values

Now, consider what these feelings—of annoyance or delight—represent in terms of your values. For instance, if you’re annoyed by the overuse of “awesome,” it could signify a value of precise communication. Or, if editing travel photos delights you, it might reflect a value of storytelling or preserving memories.

Look at these values and ask yourself: Where else in your life are they present? For instance, the combination of friendship and travel or the simple joy of completion and consideration. This reflection is about recognizing where these values resonate in other aspects of your life.

The Power of Value Alignment

When you align actions with your core values, motivation becomes almost unnecessary. Tasks align with moral beliefs or preferences so intrinsically that little persuasion is needed. For example, individuals who don’t eat meat are aligned with their value system, rendering external motivation irrelevant.

Troubleshooting and Reflection

Consider projects or tasks you’ve been procrastinating on. Is the delay because they aren’t aligned with your values, or do they need more alignment to become motivating? This reflection might also apply to organization-focused values, where simplifying tasks brings peace.

Finding Joy and Connection

I understand that physical limitations, like my own experience with long-haul Covid, can add layers of complexity to embracing values fully. Yet, we can still experience dance, for example, in spirit if not with our bodies.

If certain areas of your life, like writing, seem underrepresented in your values, try to bring them into focus by linking them to your values. Sometimes minor adjustments can imbue tasks with deeper personal significance.

Engage with Your Values

Discovering what irritates and delights you can reveal much about your personal values. Use this insight to enhance parts of your life or address procrastination. Let your values fuel your actions, and enjoy the newfound alignment.

Engage and Share

I would love to hear how these reflections impact you. Feel free to reach out, share your experiences, and consider joining us at TheRealSamBennett.com for more insights and updates. Thank you for reading and engaging with this journey toward value-based living. See you next week!

What is your Little Thing?

Starting from Zero – Again?

Introduction

Starting from scratch can feel exhausting and intimidating, especially when you believe you’ve already tackled similar challenges in the past. But what if you reframed that perception? Imagine your journey as a series of concentric circles, each bringing you to higher altitudes. Instead of starting from zero, you’re beginning anew with elevated experience and wisdom. Let’s explore how to embrace these moments with resilience and intention.

You’re Not Starting Over—You’re Moving Forward

Who among us hasn’t felt the fatigue of feeling like we’re starting from scratch? You’ve navigated life’s ups and downs and accumulated experiences, yet here you are, seemingly back at the beginning in a new area. Remember, you are not actually starting from zero. Think of a gyre—each loop may feel similar, but you are reaching new heights and exploring broader horizons with every revolution.

Reassessing the Challenge

It’s easy to get discouraged, to feel like the same old problems are back to haunt you. But you’re not just revisiting these challenges—you’re tackling them with a difference. With each attempt, you’re experimenting with your newfound skills, wisdom, and readiness. This time, you’re more equipped, your bounce-back time is quicker, and you’re charting your course with precision.

Reflect on Your Journey

Let’s pause and look back. As a younger you, what advice would you offer your present self? Perhaps you’d tell yourself to be braver, to impose and assume more. The idea of waiting for permission isn’t as rewarding as taking the initiative and asserting your presence. What would your younger self say to you today? Never give up, take 15 minutes each day to move, exercise, and nourish your well-being.

Action Steps for Today

Combine the advice for your past and present selves. These reflections lead to an action-oriented mindset. What tangible actions can you take right now to enact the wisdom you’ve gathered over time? If nothing springs to mind, focus on something small and attainable, like clearing clutter or writing a thoughtful email. Consistent small steps accumulate to significant progress.

Embrace Change with Joy and Confidence

Release the fear of judgment and welcome the joy that comes from acting on what truly matters to you. Dance to your favorite music or dive into an activity that moves you—not anyone else. Trust in your capabilities and continue venturing forward with the same persistence that has brought you this far.

You are marching forward from a place of strength, not weakness. Giving due credit to the journey you’ve taken is essential—even though you may feel like you’re circling back. Now is a new chapter, a higher plane, a different pace. You’re not starting from zero, you’re starting anew, equipped with everything you’ve learned along the way. What will you do with the wisdom of both your younger and current self? The answer lies in action, fueled by understanding and courage.

What is your Little Thing?

Failure Is the Path to Success

Introduction: Confronting the Fear of Failure

Today, let’s talk about something crucial that holds many of us back: the fear of failure. It’s easy to recognize when fear stops us from moving forward. Questions like “What will people think?” or “What if I fail publicly?” often haunt us. But what if failure is not a stop sign but rather an indicator of progress?

Unlocking the Power of Failure

Admittedly, accepting failure as a part of growth is easier said than done. Many aren’t there yet, including myself. However, reflecting on my own experiences, I’ve learned that failure can indeed pave the way to success.

Here’s the crux: Failure is the only path to success. Failing signifies attempting something new, pushing your abilities and knowledge to the limit. It means stepping into uncharted territories, which inevitably leads to growth. If you’re not failing, you might not be trying anything new, and consequently, stagnating. Remember, creativity is stifled by stagnation.

Failure Leading to New Opportunities

Take the example of my encounter with a publishing house. My initial hope was for a 10th anniversary edition of “Get It Done,” but the plan fell through. Or did it? My agent pointed out an interesting offer hidden in the response email – an opportunity to write about overwhelm, which led to a book deal. The failure to achieve one goal opened the door to a more fitting opportunity.

Physical Failure Transforming into Lived Wisdom

For over two years, I’ve battled long-haul COVID, affecting my energy and cognitive abilities. Energy-draining fatigue meant I had to work differently, which led to the creation of the “15-Minute Method.” My body’s limitations became my teacher, deepening my understanding and commitment to this philosophy, which transformed into lived wisdom.

Real Estate Lessons: Failure as a Catalyst for Growth

A memorable failure occurred when I couldn’t afford to buy a home in Southern California after the building I lived in converted into an Airbnb. This inability led me to an unforeseen opportunity in Connecticut real estate, ultimately resulting in a significant financial gain. Thus, sometimes failure redirects us toward unexpected benefits.

Embracing Failure as a Leader

In leadership, actively seeking situations where you might fail can keep you grounded and innovative. Being a leader often shields you from hearing essential criticism. Embrace the discomfort and vulnerability of failing to remind yourself what it’s like for those you lead and serve.

The Joy of Failing Forward

By now, I hope you’re considering embracing failure rather than fearing it. Start that book, make those videos, or push those sales plans forward. Plan to fail repeatedly at first—and that’s okay. The beauty of failure lies in the learning and opportunities that arise from it.

Welcoming Failure as a Friend

Reflect on your life. Recall moments when failure seemed certain but something beautiful emerged. Let failure be your revered teacher, guiding you to push beyond limits, fail joyfully, and persist with grace. Challenge yourself to fail more often and with less judgment, unlocking the boundless potential that lies ahead.

By sharing our failures and learning from them, not only do we grow personally, but we also encourage others to view their setbacks as stepping stones to success. Embrace failure and discover the lessons and opportunities it unfolds. Visit therealsambennett.com/practicum to learn more and sign up. Join a supportive community that will help you put consistent effort behind your dreams, providing the energy and accountability you need to succeed.

What is your Little Thing?

15 Minute Reset – Find Your Focus

Are you struggling to find focus, freedom, and joy in your daily life? You’re not alone. Many of us feel pulled in too many directions, struggling to make progress on the goals and dreams that mean the most to us. But what if I told you that the key to unlocking your potential lies in just 15 minutes a day?

Welcome to the 15 Minute Method

As you may know, I wrote a book called “The 15 Minute Method: The Surprisingly Simple Art of Getting It Done.” In hindsight, I now think it should be called “The Subversively Simple Art of Getting It Done,” because, yes, it is sort of subversive. Everybody underestimates it, right? But when people actually commit to it, miracles happen.

The Common Pitfalls

Many people dismiss the 15-minute method, thinking, “That’s not going to work for me,” or “I already know about that.” However, those who give it an honest try often experience daily miracles. I see countless manifestation techniques on social media—dream it and be it, they say. But here’s the truth: you manifest your dreams by doing, by taking action every single day.

Establishing New Habits

We are creatures of habit, and our habits can keep us stuck in a rut. The good news? We are also drawn to new and different things, especially when there’s a sense of urgency. Unfortunately, we often let urgent tasks trump important tasks. Another challenge we face is our need for social love and attention. We sometimes prioritize tasks that gain us approval from others over those that are truly significant to us.

Making the Change

How can we turn things around? Start by creating new, supportive habits. Make it easy for yourself to spend the first 15 minutes of the day on something meaningful—whether that’s writing, meditation, or exercise. Surround yourself with supportive people and consider joining a daily practicum. This kind of community can provide the accountability you need to stay on track.

Building Self-Love Through Promises

We all want love from others, but self-love is equally crucial. You build self-trust, esteem, and love by keeping promises to yourself. If you struggle with self-confidence or self-worth, start by committing to small, daily actions. Rack up enough 15-minute increments, and you’ll begin to notice a significant shift in your self-perception.

Your Turn: Take Action

Think of something you’ve been putting off—something that’s close to your heart. Maybe it’s a big move, dealing with finances, writing a book, or focusing on your spiritual growth. What’s stopping you from spending 15 minutes a day on this? Write down your goal and be honest with yourself about what you want.

I invite you to join me in a mini 15-minute session. Set a timer and focus on your chosen task. You may be amazed at what you can accomplish in such a short time. If you’d like to take it a step further, consider joining our daily practicum—15 minutes of focused action every weekday. Visit therealsambennett.com/practicum to learn more and sign up. Join a supportive community that will help you put consistent effort behind your dreams, providing the energy and accountability you need to succeed.

Your dreams matter, and you have the power to make them a reality—just 15 minutes at a time. Surround yourself with support, keep your promises to yourself, and witness the incredible transformations that can unfold. Let’s take that first step together. Thank you for reading, and remember: your time, your dreams, and your efforts are all incredibly valuable. Start today, and see where 15 minutes can take you.

I LOST IT at the Diner

Anyone who knows me will tell you: I almost never lose my temper.

I even consider my ability to stay calm in stressful, even argumentative, circumstances to be one of my super-powers.

But the other day I LOST IT.

At a diner.

About breakfast.

See, I was out early running errands, and it suddenly occurred to me that I could try out this nearby diner for the first time and treat myself to a nice breakfast.

I *love* diner food.

When I get there and the server points out a booth to me, I scootch myself in. I am very pleased that the decor is classic – refreshingly unironic – and the food smells great.

Especially the biscuits and gravy, which I consider a rare treat indeed.

I decide to order something with the unappetizing name of “The Kitchen Sink.” Which is all the bits and pieces of all the things I want to try. Which is excellent because….

I *love* a sample platter.

So a diner-breakfast-sample-platter is kind of my ideal order.

Except – the way the dish is described on the menu, they pile all of the elements up in a stack on one plate. Home fries on the bottom, then eggs, then a biscuit and gravy on that, then bacon. I think this sounds sort of gross.

So when the server comes to take my order, I explain that I would like The Kitchen Sink, but may I please have it spread out instead of stacked up? Or even on different plates?

“No.”

Huh?

“We don’t serve it that way.”

OK….um…..why???

“Let me get the manager.”

Wow. That escalated quickly. But I’m not mad – more puzzled than anything else.

Now the manager comes over – one of those short, stocky, thick-necked men who has a sort of bulldog-like demeanor.

“Is there a problem?” he gruffs.

I explain my thing about wanting a Deconstructed Kitchen Sink.

“No.”

HUH? Why?

“We were getting slammed with substitutions, and….”

Oh! I get it! Yes – I’ve worked in hospitality and food service and I get it – substitutions are a nightmare. I totally get it. I clarify that I’m happy to accept the meal as cooked, I just want it spread out a bit.

“No.”

Wow. I ask again, “Why?!?!?!?”

“These are the rules,” says Mr. Bulldog. “The government has rules, I have rules, we all have to follow the rules.”

The government has rules about my breakfast?

“Can I get you something else?”

Now this would be my big opportunity to shrug my shoulders, smile sweetly and order everything in that Kitchen Sink thing, but à la carte.

Or pick something else on the menu to eat.

Or simply ask for a hot tea and take some time to reconsider the life choices that brought me to here.

But I don’t.

Because of all the things that piss me off (and again – there aren’t that many of those things) the phrase, “That’s just the rules, ma’am” is the WORST.

My Inner Teenager was incensed, and the next thing I knew I was in my car, pulling away, still hungry and now, angry and crying.

To be fair, I’ve been doing a lot of crying the past few weeks, so even in that moment I knew that the tears may not have been about the diner.

I try to calm down. I remember I haven’t eaten, which is probably why I’m reacting so strongly. Eat something, I think. So I pull in to good, old, reliable Starbucks and order a tea and a breakfast egg-and-sausage sandwich. (Which is an all-piled-up thing, I know. #icontradictmyself #icontainmultitudes)

While I’m waiting for my order, I make a point to try and notice the other people in the Starbucks being human with one another. There are two teenage girls bent over a phone. There is a couple having an intense discussion about something that had happened the day before. There are two workers outside, stringing up holiday lights.

Usually noticing other people just being their dear, human selves is enough to cheer me up and calm me down.

Not today, though.

I get back in my car and do some of my favorite 4-7-8 breathing (inhale for 4, hold for 7, exhale for 8) which almost always calms me down like magic.

Not today.

I consider calling a friend to vent. Then I remember how my friend Billy always referred to that “venting” as “praying the problem.” Anytime you find yourself repeating a story over and over – especially one in which you are the innocent victim, you are energizing that story. You are perpetuating that reality. So while normally I would be perfectly happy to dump this whole silly story on a friend so that I can be told how right I am and how dumb everyone else is, I chose not to. So – no venting.

Not today.

As I drove, I caught myself re-running the conversation with Mr. Bulldog in my head – especially the part at the end, where I just sort of wiggled out of the booth, grabbed my bag and left without saying much. I kept mentally re-writing better and better lines of dialogue for myself. You may have noticed in your own life that re-playing old conversations, or pre-rehearsing conversations you haven’t had yet, is NOT the highest and best use of your imagination. So I knew that replaying the incident over and over was not going to help me, no matter how clever my l’esprit de l’escalier (literally: the wit, or inspiration, of the stairs. Leave it to the French to come up with a term that describes the thing you think of to say when you’ve already stormed out, slammed the door and are halfway down the stairwell. Genius.) So – no reruns.

Not today.

OK – time for the big medicine. I started to run through Byron Katie’s Four Questions. If you aren’t familiar with Katie’s work (www.TheWork.com) I cannot recommend it highly enough. I find her simple process to be revelatory, every single time.

But not today.

ARRRGHHHHH.

I was almost home. I had run through my favorite tools for self-management, and I was still mad.

I resolved that this diner dude and his dumb breakfast rules were NOT going to ruin my day. No, sir! Not today, sir!

So I called the restaurant, and asked to speak to Mr. Bulldog. I introduced myself, and then I said that I was calling to apologize to him. I explained that it was unlike me to storm out like that, and that I was sorry for behaving that way.

“I just want people to have a nice breakfast, ” he blustered, still defensive.

I said I understood, and I thanked him for hearing me out. As he was hanging up, he sort of mumbled something I couldn’t hear. I hope it was something nice.

He didn’t apologize.
He certainly didn’t he hoped they’d see me again soon.
He wasn’t even particularly nice about me apologizing.

But I didn’t call him because I wanted him to apologize.
I didn’t call him to try to make him feel bad about his behavior.

I called because I felt bad about MY behavior.

I apologized to him not because he “deserved” it.
I apologized to him because I deserved it.

And I felt so much better afterwards.

There were a million different ways I could have handled this diner situation. Obviously, it was a completely minor matter to which I had an outsized emotional response.

That’s what happens when your values get stepped on.

So when you find yourself getting unusually peeved about something or someone – ask yourself, “Which values of mine are getting squashed here? And how can I realign myself with my values right now?”

I called him because kindness and good humor and empathy and finding creative solutions are some of my most important values, and when Mr. Bulldog demonstrated NONE of those, I freaked out.

The fact that I was able to un-freak myself out in less than an hour is the result of thousands of hours of spiritual study and personal development.

I used my tools:

1) Eat something. Drink something reassuring.

2) Notice all the humans around you being human.

3) Try 4-7-8 breathing.

4) Avoid “praying the problem.” Quit collecting evidence about how right you are.

5) Stay in the present moment. Do not allow your imagination to get stuck replaying, re-writing or rehearsing hard conversations.

6) Explore www.TheWork.com by Byron Katie.

7) Examine your values, and notice which ones are at play.

8) Treat others as you would like to be treated. Especially if they don’t deserve it.

What tools work for you when you get upset?

By The Way, You Look Really Great Today

How I Got My Recent Book Deal #thewholestory

***HOW I GOT MY LATEST BOOK DEAL***

CHAPTER ONE:
When I started teaching the Get It Done Workshop in 2001, I had no intention of starting a business.
I just needed to make some extra money, and I thought that maybe I could help people.

So I borrowed a seldom-used room at my church and ended up getting 11 people to take my 6-week course.

I think I made $8250, which I thought was amazing.

I still think it’s amazing.

CHAPTER TWO:
In 2009, I got the idea that maybe I could teach Get It Done full time. I started teaching on InstantTeleseminar (remember that??) and started building my email list, because I could now teach people no matter where they lived.

I started to learn about small business and marketing and sales. It was like learning a new language – but I liked it.

Turns out “business” is just another word for “people.”

CHAPTER THREE:
In 2012 I got my first book deal with New World Library – with a very modest advance and a long publication timeline, since I was a complete unknown.

But thanks to my (then) over 10 years of experience teaching Get It Done, I could demonstrate that there was an audience for this work. Plus my email list had grown quite a bit, and publishers love that.

By now I was offering an array of courses, workshops and live events.
I adored it.
Still do.

CHAPTER FOUR:
In 2016, I wrote and published my second book with New World, “Start Right Where You Are: How Little Changes Can Make a Big Difference for Overwhelmed Procrastinators, Frustrated Overachievers and Recovering Perfectionists.”

More workshops, more courses, more live events – and I was starting to be asked to teach and speak and deliver keynotes at conferences all over.

CHAPTER FIVE:
In March, 2020 I had just returned from co-leading an amazing retreat workshop with my best friend in Belize when the world shut down.

I started filming courses with Madecraft, a production company in Santa Barbara, and they sold them to LinkedIn Learning and other online learning platforms.

CHAPTER SIX:
In the last two and a half years, I got kicked out of the apartment on the beach I’d been in for 10 years (the building got sold and turned into an AirBnB), my cat died, my best friend died, my father got a terminal diagnosis and died, and I got Long-Haul C0vid, making it almost impossible for me to work.

In any other business, this all would have spelt complete disaster.

THE HAPPY ENDING:
Thanks to all that is good, my business is based on workshops.

So I was able to keep teaching online, even while sick, plus my LinkedIn Courses keep gathering steam.

I now have almost a million “learners” worldwide on LinkedIn Learning.

Which helped me get my latest book deal.

We adopted two more kitties, and I was able to buy my first house – in Connecticut – with four bedrooms and private lake access. I am getting treatment from the Long-Haul Clinic at Yale, and am feeling better all the time.

THE MORAL OF THE STORY:
The ability to lead and teach workshops has not just built my business – it’s saved my life.

By “workshop” I mean everything from:
– simple 2-hour Saturday afternoon trainings
– six-week intensives
– 3-Day Live Events (with over 100 people coming from all over the world)
– high-end year-long trainings
– luxury week-long Retreat in Belize (and this year – Crete!)

And YOU CAN DO IT, TOO.
Yesterday I delivered a little training about how to Turn Your Wisdom Into (Online) Workshops) and you can see it here https://fb.watch/lkwLZQoRi6/

We’ve got a VERY SPECIAL SALE going on right now for my Turn Your Wisdom Into (Online) Workshops right now –

—-> Check out the offer here and get $100 OFF plus a $750 BONUS: https://therealsambennett.com/wiow

Leading workshops (online or in real life) is an amazing way to share your wealth of knowledge, make some extra cash and have a lot of fun.

Consider it, won’t you?

I can’t wait to hear what *****your workshop success story***** will be.

P.S. Can you think of a friend who might be interested in this special offer? Feel free to send them over to https://therealsambennett.com/wiow to see all the details. Thanks – S.

By The Way, You Look Really Great Today