Your good humor is as graceful as a baby giraffe,
Even if that joke you were trying to make to the hotel clerk fell flat
And your toast at the wedding came out sounding a little….funny.
But you have gifts that no one knows about.
You have the strength to bend in the wind
You have the joyful spirit that loves a good belly laugh,
You have the wisdom to understand that everything will all come out all right in the end and
You have the faith to light a candle rather than curse the darkness.
That is, if you could find the book of matches from that romantic restaurant that you went to for your anniversary but since you didn’t have a reservation they made you wait at the bar for half an hour during which you had two appletinis and the rest of the night is a bit of a blur.
So much for the overpriced lingerie.
You are beautiful.
You are beautiful.
Frazzled and overworked and underpaid
You are the one who forgot your wallet
And forgot your receipt for the dry cleaners
And forgot your keys which you just set down five seconds ago, so where could they possibly have gone?
But you never forget to say, “I love you”
And you never forget to give a big smile to that nice parking guy
And you never fail to show endless patience when the
Too-tightly wrapped and overly-conscientious start to offer their Oh-so-helpful suggestions about how you might feel better if you would just learn to alphabetize your spice rack.
You are beautiful.
So, wear the lingerie on Monday for no reason.
And why not just refuse to participate in the bake sale this year?
And give yourself a compliment for something you did well today.
Because you are the most beautiful woman I’ve ever known.
Every creative person I know says things like, “Well, I’m a writer. But I also sing in a choir and play bass guitar and drums and embroider and do needlepoint, but I don’t do counted cross-stitch anymore, and of course everyone in my family loves to cook, and did I mention that I also clog dance?”
Like I said, you’re good at a lot of things.
And then there’s the artistry that you bring to your everyday life.
Take a look at the list of creative activities below. This list was created and then added to over the years by hundreds of students and clients. As you’ll see, some of the activities on the list are a bit outside-the-box.
Maybe you, too, have some skills that you never thought of as creative, or dare I say… artistic?
The A-B-C’s of Creative Endeavors
Acro-Yoga, Acting, Acupuncture ADR (Additional Dialogue Recording) Agenda Planning, All Things Mac, Alphabetizing, Animal Husbandry Animation, Assembling Things, Awesome Salad Making
Dancing: Ballet, Dancing: Boogie-Oogie-Oogie, Dancing: Modern
Decoupage, Detail Designing (the devil is in the details), Doll Making, Doodling
Dream-Board Making.Driving in Los Angeles, Drumming
Editing, Emoting. Empathizing, Encouraging Entrepreneurship, Event Planning, Expressing Myself Honestly without Being Cruel
Facebook, Fashionistaing, Faux Painting, Film Critiquing
Filmmaking, Finding Order in Chaos, Fixing Things
Flute Playing, Foley Working, Footwear Design, Furniture Making
Gardening, Gift Wrapping, Going to the Mat, Grant Writing Graphic Design, Guitar Playing: Electric, Guitar Playing: Folk/Acoustic Gunsmithing
Handmade Card Making, for Prisoners, Home Cooking, Home Decorating
Honesty about Self (with Wit, Sometimes), Horseback Riding
Idea Formation, Improvising, Information Sharing Interior Design, Internet Marketing, Invoking
Jewelry Making, Joke Writing, Juggling
Kissing, Kite Making
Life Coaching, Lighting Design, Listening and Giving Advice
Logistics, Long Car Trips, Lovemaking, Lucid Dreaming
Makeup application, Making Others Comfortable with Themselves, Making Fairy Houses Marketing, Massage, Mediating, Mind-Body-Soul Coaching Motivational Speaking, Music Producing:Stage and Studio
Painting by Number, Party Throwing, Personal Training, Philosophy, Photography, Piano: Rudimentary, Playwriting,
Poetry: Limericks, Poetry of the Obscene,Poetry: Romantic Poetry: Memorizing
Poster making, Producing, Public Speaking
Pulling Business Concepts out of My Butt (a.k.a.Entrepreneurship?)
Quad Riding
Raw Food Juicing, Reading, Reading Aloud, Reading to Oneself, Reciting
Recorder Playing, Recovery (12-Stepping), Rollerblading, Roller-Skating
Sales, Saying No, Scabbard Making, Scenic Design, Scrapbooking, Screenwriting, Script Coverage, Sculpey-Clay Bead-Making, Set Designing,Sewing, Shopping, Show Producing: Multiple Genres, Shrinky-Dink Making, Silk Screening, Singing, Singing: Classical Music, Singing: Gospel, Snowboarding, Soap Making, Social Media, Software Design, Spiritual Leadership, Stand-Up Comedy, Staying in Touch, Studying/Being a Student, Stunt Fighting/Stage Combat Stunts
Take a sheet of paper and divide it into two columns.
In the first column, write down any of the skills or talents from the list above that you possess. Add to the list any additional skills you have mastered that you might think of as an art.
Gift giving? Coffee brewing? Comforting people when they’re upset? Daydreaming?
In the second column, make a note about how that talent might help you to solve a current issue in your life in a unique way.
For example, remembering how good you are at throwing parties might inspire you to make your next boring meeting more festive.
Calling to mind your puzzle-solving genius might suggest a fun, new way to approach your blog.
It drives me crazy when I hear an artist say, “Oh, I could never get a real job because I’m only good at one thing.”
Nonsense.
Spending a lifetime in the arts helps you develop all kinds of valuable skill sets: listening, reading body language, using your keen intuition; a love of history; good rhythm; the ability to present in front of a group; a sense of shape, color, and design; the ability to accept criticism; a knack for collaboration and teamwork (we usually call it “ensemble”); and most of all, the ability to think of a new idea and work hard until it’s done.
I’m not saying that you have to get a real job if you don’t want one.
I just want you to notice how many skills and art forms you bring into every room you grace.
Vocals
Water Skiing
Web Design
Whitewater River Guiding
Woodcut-Print Making
Woodworking
Wrapping Presents
Writing
Writing Love Notes
Writing Meditations
Yoga
YouTube
Once you are done noticing your own unusual art forms, you might want to take a moment to notice someone else’s.
People feel very seen and cared about when you take the time to praise the way they walk in the world.
A heartfelt compliment such as “I notice that you are always very considerate in your remarks when we have
these meetings — thank you for that” can do a lot for a strained work environment.
And I will tell you from experience that writing a kindly, observant thank-you note can win you a friend for life.
Select three of your special talents, and make a note about how these gifts might be useful to you in moving your project forward.
Would love to know what you came up with, leave a comment below if you feel like sharing.
Concealing the disobedient pounding of your heart
It dawns on you:
Here we go again.
And while you no longer allow yourself the long, elaborate
daydreams in which everything works out perfectly,
You catch yourself thinking: Well, it could happen.
And though you have long since given up making bargains
with God,
You find yourself whispering: Please.
And since you have — years ago — quit telling
Anyone anything about anything
Because honestly,
The things people say, such as,
“Oh, it will happen for you, I just know it!”
Really?
“I have a friend who went through the same thing and then one
day, just like magic. . .”
Really?
“The minute you stop wanting it, that’s when it will happen.”
Oh. Okay.
So you haven’t told a soul.
Except, after long consideration, your very dearest best friend.
And you know the odds are against you.
And still
You know that life is not a numbers game and
The Lord does, indeed, move in some very mysterious ways and
Haven’t you earned —
And there you stop short.
Because life is also not about earning or deserving,
And it doesn’t matter how hard you’ve tried or how much you’ve
sacrificed or how positive your positive mental attitude has
been.
What matters is reality.
And reality says: It’s possible.
So you dwell in possibility.
Between the dark and the daylight.
No longer storming off, slamming doors, and swearing, “Never
again.”
No longer crying out in agony because you had been so sure this
was It.
No longer elated by another promising sign.
You are here now.
Committed to enjoying the ride.
Trusting in the friendliness of the universe.
Awakened to your heart’s desire.
Knowing that there is no such thing as false hope.
People are saying nice things to you all the time.
But I’m guessing you let most of them slide right past you. And some of you even deflect them (“Oh, no, it’s not that great…”) or immediately turn them around (“No, no, YOU are the genius…”)
I’d like you to consider the possibility that you’re being a little rude whenever you refuse a compliment.
First of all, the person is stating a truth. It may not be true for you, but it’s true for them. If they think your story is the best one they’ve ever read or that your church solo moved them or that you look nice in that sweater, that’s their business, and they get to be right.
So acknowledge that they are right. And don’t go around inflicting your opinion on them.
Just because you know you were a bit flat on the last chorus or that this sweater isn’t quite what it used to be doesn’t mean you need to tell them all about it.
Retain your empathy: remember the last time someone did that to you? You tried to say something nice and the person just wafted it away? Felt kind of icky, huh?
Here’s the other reason to take compliments seriously: they offer you valuable market research.
If someone says they find you fun or thought-provoking or nice or smart as a whip or inspiring, then use that language in your next brochure/email/elevator speech.
Imagine you’re at a holiday punch bowl standing next to someone you’d really like to impress and they ask you the oft-dreaded question, “So, what do you do?”
You may answer, “How kind of you to ask.
I’m a singer. I sing at weddings and other church events, and I also sing with a group that visits retirement communities. Someone recently said my work was ‘uplifting’ – which made me feel great, because that’s really what I want to do – lift people’s spirits.”
Nice, huh? You not only described your work but also conveyed the flavor and tone of your work and some of the truth about who you are.
It’s not bragging if it’s true.
P.S. This same strategy applies to criticism. If someone says your work is overwrought or shallow or kinda pitchy, dawg, then thank them for sharing their thoughts with you and DO NOT argue with them. Yes, your ego will flare up a bit. So go punch a pillow. But then remember to incorporate the information into your spiel.
So your next email might say something like, “I’m teaching a new class that teaches sign language to 9-18 month-old children. Some people might find this work superfluous or overly precious, but research shows that offering young children additional means of communication increases SAT scores by over 30%.”
(I completely made up that last part, by the way.)
See how acknowledging the truth clarifies your message?
Keep a running list of all the compliments you get and see what the trends are. Use those words to communicate the truth of you.
Here’s a compliment to start your list: you are good and brave.
I notice that you being hard on yourself doesn’t help you get more done. You criticizing yourself doesn’t help you learn and grow. You dwelling on your perceived failures, shortcomings, faults, weaknesses and screw-ups doesn’t help you be a creative person.
In fact, it makes everything worse.
Being hard on yourself depletes your energy.
Being hard on yourself discourages you from taking action.
Being hard on yourself makes every idea an opportunity for punishment. (“Why didn’t you think of that sooner?” “You should have done that already!” “What’s this – another idea that you won’t finish?”)
Treating yourself as though you are some unreliable and troublesome child who must be constantly watched (“Heaven knows WHAT she’ll do if we take our eyes off her for even just one second”) is completely counter-productive.
I might also point out that you being hard on other people (criticizing, dwelling on their perceived failures, shortcomings, faults, weaknesses and screw-ups doesn’t help anything either. In fact, it makes things worse.
So just for today, be tender with yourself.
Give yourself a sincere compliment and don’t then immediately talk yourself out of it.
Look around your life and notice all the parts of it that are truly, truly wonderful.
Being gentle with yourself and others is not a cop-out: rather, it is the only way out of the destructive spirals of procrastination, perfectionism and self-loathing.
