Emotional Wellness - The Real Sam Bennett

Starting from Zero – Again?

Introduction

Starting from scratch can feel exhausting and intimidating, especially when you believe you’ve already tackled similar challenges in the past. But what if you reframed that perception? Imagine your journey as a series of concentric circles, each bringing you to higher altitudes. Instead of starting from zero, you’re beginning anew with elevated experience and wisdom. Let’s explore how to embrace these moments with resilience and intention.

You’re Not Starting Over—You’re Moving Forward

Who among us hasn’t felt the fatigue of feeling like we’re starting from scratch? You’ve navigated life’s ups and downs and accumulated experiences, yet here you are, seemingly back at the beginning in a new area. Remember, you are not actually starting from zero. Think of a gyre—each loop may feel similar, but you are reaching new heights and exploring broader horizons with every revolution.

Reassessing the Challenge

It’s easy to get discouraged, to feel like the same old problems are back to haunt you. But you’re not just revisiting these challenges—you’re tackling them with a difference. With each attempt, you’re experimenting with your newfound skills, wisdom, and readiness. This time, you’re more equipped, your bounce-back time is quicker, and you’re charting your course with precision.

Reflect on Your Journey

Let’s pause and look back. As a younger you, what advice would you offer your present self? Perhaps you’d tell yourself to be braver, to impose and assume more. The idea of waiting for permission isn’t as rewarding as taking the initiative and asserting your presence. What would your younger self say to you today? Never give up, take 15 minutes each day to move, exercise, and nourish your well-being.

Action Steps for Today

Combine the advice for your past and present selves. These reflections lead to an action-oriented mindset. What tangible actions can you take right now to enact the wisdom you’ve gathered over time? If nothing springs to mind, focus on something small and attainable, like clearing clutter or writing a thoughtful email. Consistent small steps accumulate to significant progress.

Embrace Change with Joy and Confidence

Release the fear of judgment and welcome the joy that comes from acting on what truly matters to you. Dance to your favorite music or dive into an activity that moves you—not anyone else. Trust in your capabilities and continue venturing forward with the same persistence that has brought you this far.

You are marching forward from a place of strength, not weakness. Giving due credit to the journey you’ve taken is essential—even though you may feel like you’re circling back. Now is a new chapter, a higher plane, a different pace. You’re not starting from zero, you’re starting anew, equipped with everything you’ve learned along the way. What will you do with the wisdom of both your younger and current self? The answer lies in action, fueled by understanding and courage.

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Failure Is the Path to Success

Introduction: Confronting the Fear of Failure

Today, let’s talk about something crucial that holds many of us back: the fear of failure. It’s easy to recognize when fear stops us from moving forward. Questions like “What will people think?” or “What if I fail publicly?” often haunt us. But what if failure is not a stop sign but rather an indicator of progress?

Unlocking the Power of Failure

Admittedly, accepting failure as a part of growth is easier said than done. Many aren’t there yet, including myself. However, reflecting on my own experiences, I’ve learned that failure can indeed pave the way to success.

Here’s the crux: Failure is the only path to success. Failing signifies attempting something new, pushing your abilities and knowledge to the limit. It means stepping into uncharted territories, which inevitably leads to growth. If you’re not failing, you might not be trying anything new, and consequently, stagnating. Remember, creativity is stifled by stagnation.

Failure Leading to New Opportunities

Take the example of my encounter with a publishing house. My initial hope was for a 10th anniversary edition of “Get It Done,” but the plan fell through. Or did it? My agent pointed out an interesting offer hidden in the response email – an opportunity to write about overwhelm, which led to a book deal. The failure to achieve one goal opened the door to a more fitting opportunity.

Physical Failure Transforming into Lived Wisdom

For over two years, I’ve battled long-haul COVID, affecting my energy and cognitive abilities. Energy-draining fatigue meant I had to work differently, which led to the creation of the “15-Minute Method.” My body’s limitations became my teacher, deepening my understanding and commitment to this philosophy, which transformed into lived wisdom.

Real Estate Lessons: Failure as a Catalyst for Growth

A memorable failure occurred when I couldn’t afford to buy a home in Southern California after the building I lived in converted into an Airbnb. This inability led me to an unforeseen opportunity in Connecticut real estate, ultimately resulting in a significant financial gain. Thus, sometimes failure redirects us toward unexpected benefits.

Embracing Failure as a Leader

In leadership, actively seeking situations where you might fail can keep you grounded and innovative. Being a leader often shields you from hearing essential criticism. Embrace the discomfort and vulnerability of failing to remind yourself what it’s like for those you lead and serve.

The Joy of Failing Forward

By now, I hope you’re considering embracing failure rather than fearing it. Start that book, make those videos, or push those sales plans forward. Plan to fail repeatedly at first—and that’s okay. The beauty of failure lies in the learning and opportunities that arise from it.

Welcoming Failure as a Friend

Reflect on your life. Recall moments when failure seemed certain but something beautiful emerged. Let failure be your revered teacher, guiding you to push beyond limits, fail joyfully, and persist with grace. Challenge yourself to fail more often and with less judgment, unlocking the boundless potential that lies ahead.

By sharing our failures and learning from them, not only do we grow personally, but we also encourage others to view their setbacks as stepping stones to success. Embrace failure and discover the lessons and opportunities it unfolds. Visit therealsambennett.com/practicum to learn more and sign up. Join a supportive community that will help you put consistent effort behind your dreams, providing the energy and accountability you need to succeed.

Waking Up Wanting: How Doing Little Things Is the Antidote to Burnout

If you’re like me, you wake up pretty much every morning thinking about what you want.

And then you spend the rest of the day talking yourself out of it.

Or psyching yourself out of it.

Or ignoring it because you spend every waking minute doing the things that everyone else needs you to do.

Sometimes you wake up thinking of what you want in a dreaming way….with a gentle feeling of longing.

Oh, wouldn’t it be wonderful to have my own business and not have to launch out of bed right now and start hustling for someone else…

Wouldn’t it be wonderful to be able to take a trip – to go somewhere special….

Gee, wouldn’t it be great to be able to spend time on this hobby or activity that I love…

Other times, your desire shows up as vicious self-criticism.

Ugh. I can’t believe I haven’t done XYZ yet…

I’m such a failure – I haven’t lost this weight or even started exercising….

I feel like a loser because I haven’t written that book yet…

This early morning self-punishing is a hard way to greet the day, don’t you think?

Other times you just wake up feeling sort of dead and empty.

I don’t even know what would make a difference for me….I’m just so tired of my life….

I’m so sick of going to the same office and saying the same things to the same people over and over again…

Between the needs of my family and the needs of my job, I’m too tired to even know what I want…

And when you repeat this pattern day after day, you wind up with that horrible hamster-wheel feeling.

Because burnout doesn’t come from working hard – it comes from working hard and feeling like it doesn’t make any difference.

So the antidote to burn-out is MEANING.

And a great clue to finding meaning in your life is to look to those things you wake up wanting.

If you look underneath your feeling of dissatisfaction, you may find some interesting questions:

Where is the joy in my life?

Where is the zhuzh? The energy and sparkle?

Where is my power to change things?

These are excellent questions. You may even want to use them as journaling prompts, hm?

Let us take a moment right now to agree that this strategy of “wanting something, then not giving it to yourself all day” is not creating the life that you want.

So let’s think of a new strategy.

We’re going to do this right now.

And here’s our new, easy strategy.

Ready?

1) Pick One Thing You Want to Change

There might be several areas in your life that you want to see changed or a number of things you want to do. Since the purpose of this exercise is to explore this new strategy, I want you to just Pick One.

Pick whichever one bubbles up first for you – big or small.

OK – have you chosen an area of your life you’d like to change?

Great.

Now write that down so you don’t start second-guessing yourself before we’ve even begun.

2) Think of One. Simple. Tiny. Easy. Step.

Write down one simple, easy thing you can do today that will help you make the change you wrote down.

Simple = this step isn’t complicated; you probably already know how to do this.

Tiny = this step will take less than 15 minutes and is easily affordable or free.

Easy = you might even enjoy doing this step.

And I don’t care how dumb it seems. Or how much you feel like it’s not going to help. Because we’re just experimenting, right?

See, it’s your ego that wants to make big moves. Your ego wants to make it an all-or-nothing scenario. Your ego wants to make these big sweeping decisions.

I’m here to tell you your life will change thanks to tiny incremental actions.

Maybe your Simple Tiny Easy Action is to spend 15 minutes cruising some job websites – just to see what else is out there. (Can you see how this moves the inner conversation from, “Ugh I should really quit this job but I can’t afford it blah blah blah,” to “I’m going to just do a little check on what else might be out there for me.” Much more manageable, yes?

Or maybe your Simple Tiny Easy Action is to spend 15 minutes dancing in your kitchen, just to feel the pure joy of moving to music.

Maybe you want to spend 15 minutes writing just 200 words of a book.

Maybe you want to spend 15 minutes reaching out to a friend.

Maybe you spend 15 minutes staring at a blank piece of paper. That’s OK. A little time facing white space never hurt a person.

And here’s the wonderful news: if you do your Simple Tiny Easy Action – your whole day will be different.

It’s possible that the whole trajectory of your life will change.

But – for sure – your day will change.

3) Repeat This Process Tomorrow

And the day after that. And the day after that. And the day after that. And the day after that.

This is how we change our lives.

This is why I wrote the book, “Start Right Where You Are: How Little Changes Can Make a Big Difference for Overwhelmed Procrastinators, Frustrated Overachievers and Recovering Perfectionists” (New World Library).

When people looked at my life and asked me, “Wow, how did you go from being a broke actor in Los Angeles who never had two nickels to rub together to being this prosperous business owner, thought leader, and author?” (hair toss, hair toss)

It wasn’t just one thing. It was a lot of simple, tiny, easy decisions. It was a lot of simple, tiny, easy actions in a lot of areas of my life.

And it’s not just me – I’ve helped tens of thousands of clients change their lives with this process, most recently with our breakthrough 90-day program, The Get It Done Lab.

Sam’s Get it Done Lab has helped me to blow past some serious creative blocks and fall in love with the process. The process is now lifting me rather than crushing me. – Beth Jaffe

I am super excited and happy about the shift that is already occurring in me with the little I have done already and… just the basic shift in attitude…really the most important question regardless…what do I *really* want? That’s what matters. – Jodi Johnson

You can do the same. Starting right now.

Here’s the thing: Every day is precious to us. We do not know when our last day here is.

Do not wait to move forward on having the life that matters to you.

A Manifesto for the Highly Creative Person

We, the people of a grillion ideas, do solemnly declare that as of today, we are officially in service to the world.

No longer will we let our fear, insecurity, procrastination and self-doubt keep us from sharing our work.

Our imagination is at your disposal.

Our innovation is yours to use.

Our stories and jokes and songs and teachings and puzzles and solutions are, as of now, available upon request.

We aren’t going to worry about what you think any more.

You need us too much.

We are going to take our secret passions and multiple areas of expertise and share them without worrying about what our fucking niche is.

We are going to give voice to the truth in our hearts, without feeling concerned that the world won’t get it, because we know the ones who need to hear, will hear.

We are going to haul our inventions, our stories, our screenplays, our paintings, our musings, our poetry, our architectural drawings, our compositions and our “oh, this old thing – that’s just a little hobby” doo-dads and whatnots out of the closet.

And into the world.

Where our work can heal the world in the same way that it has always healed us.

(Look – we were the weird kids. We get that. And maybe we’ve held a bit of a grudge. Now we can see that in this life, everyone gets the same amount of pain. We didn’t have it worse. You didn’t have it easier. We have all struggled to make it to here.)

Now there is no more time for divisiveness. We are here to celebrate that which is best, brightest and most humble about the human spirit.

I pledge my heart and soul to greater good of all concerned.

I offer my brain, my ideas and the work of my hands to the world.

I am willing to charge for my work, or not, and willing to be criticized or celebrated or both.

And whatever happens, I will stay #calmkindandcreative

Fear doesn’t get to run things anymore.

Only love.

We are here to love and be loved.

For love is all there is.

How do you do #CalmKindCreative during times of stress, uncertainty and upheaval?

Share in the comments below.

And don’t forget to download your own copy of the Manifesto. Print it out and post where you can read it everyday.

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P.S. Highly Creative People, or "HCP's" as I like to call us, are the most underutilized resource on the planet. Together we can change that because the world needs our unique talents and genius, and there's no time to waste.

Think you might be a Highly Creative Person?

Find Out!

I love bad reviews

I love good reviews more, of course.

But I love ALL reviews.

Anytime someone cares enough about what I’m doing to take the time to comment, I’m deeply honored.

Whether they love it or hate it or are just “meh” about it is none of my business. People are allowed to think and feel however they like, and it really has nothing to do with me.

Are you having a hard time digesting that?
Think of it this way: you know that none of their other opinions have to do with you, right?
I mean, if someone said, “Oh, I just loathe peanut butter and jelly sandwiches!” you wouldn’t take that personally, would you? You know that their feeling about PB&J isn’t about you, yes? Right. So just because the opinion under discussion happens to be “you” or “your work” does not make it any more or less about you. It’s all about them.
The moment someone starts to talk about likes and dislikes, or about “better” and “best,” they have stopped talking about the thing itself and they have started talking about themselves. (Thanks to Carolyn Bremer for the origin of this pithy phrasing.)
Here’s why I bring this up:

I was getting ready for another drive into LA, which takes about 90 minutes, and I was thinking that maybe instead of listening to a podcast, I might download a new audio book.
While cruising Audible books and reviews, I realized that I had never once looked up my own books to see their reviews.

Durrrrr….

So I look them up and…

They are just lovely!

People say the most wonderful things about my writing and about my narration and I’m just beaming over here.
And the one negative review cracked me up so much my ego forgot to even wince.
(Laughter almost always defeats ego. Try it.)
Take a look at the screenshots below and you can see for yourself.
And if you’re looking for something nice to listen to, please consider

“Get It Done: From Procrastination to Creative Genius in 15 Minutes a Day” or use this aff link: http://amzn.to/2vKEK6s

“Start Right Where You Are: How Little Changes Can Make a Big Difference for Overwhelmed Procrastinators, Frustrated Overachievers and Recovering Perfectionists” or use this aff link: http://amzn.to/2eP4R8x

And for what’s it worth, I think your work is fabulous.

I also love PB&J.

Yours,
Sam

Ok, that’s it!

Clearly, this has all gone too far.

The news has made me weep almost hourly and I am done with feeling outraged, feeling powerless and feeling frightened.

It’s time to reclaim our creative power and become a relentless force for kindness.

And when I say “time” I mean right now. This very minute.

We creatives have been OK with taking a back seat for too long.

The time for change is now. This very minute.

If you want to live in a world in which creativity matters, then you must act like creativity matters.

Yours first.

And then everyone else’s.

If you want to live in a world of compassion and tolerance, then you must behave compassionately and tolerantly.

Starting with yourself.

Then everyone else.

This means:

No name-calling.
No blaming.
No eye-rolling.
No over-dramatizing.
And most of all: no quitting.

This means:

You don’t get to call yourself, “lazy” or “a failure” or “not good with money” anymore.

You don’t get to point the finger at the family, the teachers, the economy or the media and blame them for your lack.

You don’t get to stand on the sidelines and pretend like the world economy doesn’t have anything to do with you.

You don’t get to huff around making loud noises about moving to Canada when there is a whole world of people out here who need your art, your stories and your voice more than ever before.

I know it’s hard.

I know it’s hard to not let the state of the world turn your mood dark.

But our weapon is the light.

Our weapon is politeness, good humor, firm resolve without violence and most of all, of creativity.

The time to find unusual solutions and out-of-the-box ideas is now.

We’ve let those other guys be in charge for too long, and it’s time we reclaimed our rightful place as the shamans, jesters, prophets, documentarians, dancers, poets, potters, teachers, healers, music-makers, magic-makers and makers-of-things.

Our work brings people together.

Our work reminds people of our shared humanity.

After all – we all want the same things.

We all want to eat good food and love somebody special.

We all want to feel like our work matters.

We all want to laugh at good jokes and be with our friends, especially when times are especially good or especially hard.

All of us.

Every person of every stripe throughout all time has wanted these things.

So if you want to bring people together, do it around the things that you have in common.

I’ve heard that marriage equality progressed faster than anyone thought it could thanks to “Will and Grace.”

And I know for a fact that “Uncle Tom’s Cabin” helped end slavery.

Matthew Bourne’s “Swan Lake” changed our ideas about masculinity, and Neil DeGrasse Tyson is now regularly on my old friend Stephen Colbert’s Late Show, making astrophysics cool again.

And wasn’t it teeny-bopper-Tweeter turned pop-culture-goddess-superstar Taylor Swift taking the stand against sexual harassment this week?

Art matters.

Artists matter.

You matter.

So do not allow yourself to sink into despair.

Rather: allow yourself to sink into the work that has been calling your name.

You don’t know how much your novel, your sexual empowerment workshop, your yoga, your paint (or paint-by-numbers) might change the world.

So don’t let anyone (not even the voices in your head) tell you that your work is foolish, is selfish, is unnecessary or should be put off until tomorrow.

It is time to be a relentless force for creativity, kindness and joy. This very minute.

Pass it on.