What is your Little Thing?

What is your Little Thing?

What’s Your Little Thing?

Let’s start with something quite simple. What is one little thing that bugs you? It’s not about what enrages you, but those small annoyances that consistently nag at you. Write it down and feel free to share it, or keep it to yourself. It could be something as specific as the overuse of a word or the inconvenience of your walker catching on runners. Perhaps these small grievances aren’t even worth fixing, yet they linger.

A Step Further: What Delights You?

Move beyond annoyances and think about what delights you. The joy may come from a kind gesture, the productivity of editing travel photos, or spending quality time with loved ones. It’s important to identify these pleasures too.

Aligning with Values

Now, consider what these feelings—of annoyance or delight—represent in terms of your values. For instance, if you’re annoyed by the overuse of “awesome,” it could signify a value of precise communication. Or, if editing travel photos delights you, it might reflect a value of storytelling or preserving memories.

Look at these values and ask yourself: Where else in your life are they present? For instance, the combination of friendship and travel or the simple joy of completion and consideration. This reflection is about recognizing where these values resonate in other aspects of your life.

The Power of Value Alignment

When you align actions with your core values, motivation becomes almost unnecessary. Tasks align with moral beliefs or preferences so intrinsically that little persuasion is needed. For example, individuals who don’t eat meat are aligned with their value system, rendering external motivation irrelevant.

Troubleshooting and Reflection

Consider projects or tasks you’ve been procrastinating on. Is the delay because they aren’t aligned with your values, or do they need more alignment to become motivating? This reflection might also apply to organization-focused values, where simplifying tasks brings peace.

Finding Joy and Connection

I understand that physical limitations, like my own experience with long-haul Covid, can add layers of complexity to embracing values fully. Yet, we can still experience dance, for example, in spirit if not with our bodies.

If certain areas of your life, like writing, seem underrepresented in your values, try to bring them into focus by linking them to your values. Sometimes minor adjustments can imbue tasks with deeper personal significance.

Engage with Your Values

Discovering what irritates and delights you can reveal much about your personal values. Use this insight to enhance parts of your life or address procrastination. Let your values fuel your actions, and enjoy the newfound alignment.

Engage and Share

I would love to hear how these reflections impact you. Feel free to reach out, share your experiences, and consider joining us at TheRealSamBennett.com for more insights and updates. Thank you for reading and engaging with this journey toward value-based living. See you next week!

What is your Little Thing?

Failure Is the Path to Success

Introduction: Confronting the Fear of Failure

Today, let’s talk about something crucial that holds many of us back: the fear of failure. It’s easy to recognize when fear stops us from moving forward. Questions like “What will people think?” or “What if I fail publicly?” often haunt us. But what if failure is not a stop sign but rather an indicator of progress?

Unlocking the Power of Failure

Admittedly, accepting failure as a part of growth is easier said than done. Many aren’t there yet, including myself. However, reflecting on my own experiences, I’ve learned that failure can indeed pave the way to success.

Here’s the crux: Failure is the only path to success. Failing signifies attempting something new, pushing your abilities and knowledge to the limit. It means stepping into uncharted territories, which inevitably leads to growth. If you’re not failing, you might not be trying anything new, and consequently, stagnating. Remember, creativity is stifled by stagnation.

Failure Leading to New Opportunities

Take the example of my encounter with a publishing house. My initial hope was for a 10th anniversary edition of “Get It Done,” but the plan fell through. Or did it? My agent pointed out an interesting offer hidden in the response email – an opportunity to write about overwhelm, which led to a book deal. The failure to achieve one goal opened the door to a more fitting opportunity.

Physical Failure Transforming into Lived Wisdom

For over two years, I’ve battled long-haul COVID, affecting my energy and cognitive abilities. Energy-draining fatigue meant I had to work differently, which led to the creation of the “15-Minute Method.” My body’s limitations became my teacher, deepening my understanding and commitment to this philosophy, which transformed into lived wisdom.

Real Estate Lessons: Failure as a Catalyst for Growth

A memorable failure occurred when I couldn’t afford to buy a home in Southern California after the building I lived in converted into an Airbnb. This inability led me to an unforeseen opportunity in Connecticut real estate, ultimately resulting in a significant financial gain. Thus, sometimes failure redirects us toward unexpected benefits.

Embracing Failure as a Leader

In leadership, actively seeking situations where you might fail can keep you grounded and innovative. Being a leader often shields you from hearing essential criticism. Embrace the discomfort and vulnerability of failing to remind yourself what it’s like for those you lead and serve.

The Joy of Failing Forward

By now, I hope you’re considering embracing failure rather than fearing it. Start that book, make those videos, or push those sales plans forward. Plan to fail repeatedly at first—and that’s okay. The beauty of failure lies in the learning and opportunities that arise from it.

Welcoming Failure as a Friend

Reflect on your life. Recall moments when failure seemed certain but something beautiful emerged. Let failure be your revered teacher, guiding you to push beyond limits, fail joyfully, and persist with grace. Challenge yourself to fail more often and with less judgment, unlocking the boundless potential that lies ahead.

By sharing our failures and learning from them, not only do we grow personally, but we also encourage others to view their setbacks as stepping stones to success. Embrace failure and discover the lessons and opportunities it unfolds. Visit therealsambennett.com/practicum to learn more and sign up. Join a supportive community that will help you put consistent effort behind your dreams, providing the energy and accountability you need to succeed.

There Is No Such Thing as a Big Decision

There Is No Such Thing as a Big Decision

There is no such thing as a big decision.

There are only little decisions.

And when you allow yourself to believe that something IS a big decision, you instantly psych yourself out, ammiright?

So you have a thought like…

“You know, maybe I want to quit this job….”

“Maybe I want to move…”

“Maybe I should leave this person that I’ve been with for all these years…”

And then you think, “Oh, but it’s such a big decision,” and you frighten yourself into inaction.

All of life is a series of little decisions, and sometimes we make a big deal about the last little decision, but really – that last one is no bigger than all the ones that precede it.

I remember before the first of my marriages (long story) when we were getting our pre-marital counseling from our very hip pastor, and he said,

“Here’s the thing – you two have been deciding to get married since you met. You have been deciding to get married since you first clapped eyes on each other. It’s been a million little steps. A million little yeses. Yes to this first date, and yes to this dinner, and yes to making up after this fight. Now, on the wedding day, we’re going to make a big fuss over this last little yes. Over this last little, ‘I do.’

But remember it is not a big decision. It is the latest in a series of small decisions. And as you stay married, you will continue to make little decisions every single day to stay married or to not.”

And anyone who has been in a long-term relationship will tell you, it’s true. You make decisions every single day to stay together, or to drift apart.

You make little decisions every day about your health, your job, your family, and your relationships, and those decisions shape your future.

If you remember that you only need to make a little decision and then take the next indicated right action, you might decide yourself into a new, better life.

ahem….I am officially a VERY big deal : )

ahem….I am officially a VERY big deal : )

Image of painted lines on the ground, including the word "zone"

So my friend Greg pings me the other day with a little audio clip of ME being featured on the Stuff You Should Know podcast….

and you could have knocked me over with a feather.

Because I’ve never been on that show.

I mean – SYSK is in the top 15 of ALL podcasts!

So how did it happen?

Turns out that LinkedIn Learning is a sponsor of SYSK, but you know how podcasts love to make their ads sound all chatty? Well, apparently they decided to feature one of my LinkedIn courses called, “Time Management for Busy People” and so the hosts talk about me and how awesome I am for a minute, and then they cut to an audio clip of me from the course, and then they go on to say that LinkedIn Learning is really great and people should check it out.

WOW.

So cool, right?

And here’s what I want you take away from this little story:

There are wheels turning you do not know about.

There are forces for good that are shaping your future right now.

There are opportunities that you never dreamed of (like being featured on one of the world’s most popular podcasts) that are unfolding.

BUT…

Success cannot find you if you keep yourself locked up.

Success cannot find you if you never show your work to anyone.

Success cannot find you if you never talk about what you do, or if you are always self-deprecating.

 

So please – share your creativity with someone today.

You never know what might happen.

Yours,
Sam.

P.S. If you want to hear the clip, just find the Stuff You Should Know podcast on whatever platform you use (Apple, Stitcher, Google, etc) and go to the episode that was posted on Tuesday, July 13, called “Radium Girls.” My bit is about 32 minutes in. Enjoy! – S.

By The Way, You Look Really Great Today

Inner Glass Ceilings- Part 1

Inner Glass Ceilings- Part 1

Image of painted lines on the ground, including the word "zone"

The thing I thought we would talk about today is the inner glass ceilings- The self-limiting behavior that you may not even know that you have. This will be a 2-part blog post because I think this is so important, and I have a lot to say about it.

I did a call earlier this week with my friend, Susan Harrow, who’s a public relations expert and she has a little course about how to get featured in a magazine. I posted about it in this Facebook group. And I thought for sure you guys were going to go crazy for this.

I thought for sure, you’d be like, Oh, I would love to have my product in a magazine. I’d love to have my art in a magazine. I’d love to be quoted in a magazine. I’d love to have my essay featured in a magazine. I’d love to have my book in a magazine. I thought for sure you guys would be all over that, like white on rice.

And it’s not that you weren’t. I mean, people definitely enrolled and the response was good, but it was not as enthusiastic as I had expected it to be. And then I thought about it and I really sort of put on my empathy head, my empathy heart, and kind of tried to feel into what was going on. And I realized it was this.

That really, the idea of being in O magazine was not so much thrilling to a lot of you- it was terrifying. That level of success and visibility felt threatening. It felt like maybe it was something you wouldn’t be able to handle. What if everybody thinks I’m great and then you have to be great all the time.

What if I get overwhelmed? In a lot of ways it felt to me like y’all were just kind of taking yourself out of the game before you even had any information.

Before you even thought, well, I could go to the free thing about how a person gets featured in O magazine… I could do that much research just to see if it’s something I might want. Rather than just saying, Oh, no, no, no, that’s not for me. And I wrote a big post about it. It’s on this Facebook page, about how you were taught to be modest, you were taught to defer, you were taught don’t toot your own horn. Don’t think you’re so big. Don’t get too big for your britches. Who does she think she is?

Tall poppy syndrome, all that you were taught by your family, you were taught that by school, you were taught that by the culture. And even more, this sort of second level: everybody gets that “don’t toot your own horn” message, men and women alike, but then women get an extra little message that says, “let the men go first.”

“Don’t outsmart the boys. Don’t make the boys look bad, stay in the back. Be the power behind the throne. Be the supportive help. Everybody else’s things are more important than your things.” When women get rewarded for it, they don’t get rewarded. Women are expected to help everybody with everybody else’s thing first.

And if they put their own stuff first that’s selfish, right? She got that message. I certainly got that message. Everyone I know got that message. It’s not your fault. It’s no wonder that to suddenly fight back against a hundred years of cultural programming that says, do not seek out the spotlight for yourself, that when somebody says, hey, you could be in a magazine, you could be in the spotlight. You feel like, oh that doesn’t seem like such a good idea. It feels risky. It feels like I might get teased. It feels like I might get punished. It feels like people might not like me. And all those things are true.

I guarantee you, when your work starts to get more popular, there will be people who do not like you for sure. But what you find is that it matters less. When you’ve had five social media friends and one of them doesn’t like you, that’s a big deal, but if you’ve got 50,000 social media friends and 50 of them don’t like you, it’s not that big of a deal.

A Revealing Exercise in Doodling

A Revealing Exercise in Doodling

Image of painted lines on the ground, including the word "zone"

Here’s so here’s the little experiment I want to do with you guys.

I know you’ve got your paper and your pens ready, because you guys are known doodlers. If you don’t for some reason, grab a pen and a piece of paper.

Take your pen and I want you to draw a flower. Don’t think about it. Just draw it right now. Draw any flower you want. You can even just write the word “flower”. However you want to do it, just draw a flower

This version of you that just drew this flower… When I said draw a flower, any flower you want, that’s version one of you.

Okay. Now, new piece of paper, maybe same pen, maybe different pen. This is version two of you.

First, I want you to think about which flower you want to draw, which flower would be best to draw, which flower could you draw the best? Which flower haven’t you drawn in a while, or maybe one you used to draw, but you haven’t drawn in a while. Think about whether or not you have the skills to draw this flower. Think about what other people will think about you if you draw this flower. Think about all the other people who have already drawn flowers, and all the other people who were thinking about drawing flowers.

Do you really want to compete with them? I mean, maybe tomorrow would be a better day to draw a flower. Maybe even not a flower, maybe a star, maybe a barn, maybe a goat, maybe a goat in a barn with a star, maybe other flowers, maybe…

Are you getting my message. Have you seen through my clever road?

Stop second guessing yourself. If someone is outside your door right now and wants to give you $500 for a drawing of a flower, what do you have? You have a drawing of a flower and you could cheerfully receive that $500. You would say, yes, I have a flower.

What does version two get? How much influence does version two have? And what’s really sneaky is that you guys (I know you do this because I do it too), there’s something about that kind of thinking and overthinking and second guessing and double thinking and reconsidering and planning, planning, planning, and getting ready to get ready, and self-doubt- that feels good. That feels responsible.

One doesn’t want to just go off willy-nilly drawing flowers without any consideration. It seems better to sit and ponder. There are very few things in life that benefit from pondering.

I’m going to go ahead and say you were an artist, you know why? Because you just drew a flower. It’s a verb. If you’re doing it, you get to call yourself the verb. If you’re writing, you’re a writer. If you’re drawing, you’re an artist. If you’re singing, you’re a singer. If you’re teaching, you’re a teacher, right?

I’ve had people tell me I have no idea what I want. I’m soaked directionless. I never seen anything through. I’m still confused. And I say, okay, well, tell me what you’re thinking about. And then you go, well, I’m thinking this, this, this, and this. I’m like, right. So that’s not confused at all. Like that’s very clear that you’ve drawn a flower.

I was talking to somebody yesterday and I was helping her plan out a class she had in her mind for a long time. I said, well, how much you want to charge for this? And she was like, Oh gosh, I don’t know. I mean, that’s really the question that’s so confusing. I don’t know. And I said, okay, stop. Let’s do it the other way- how much money would you like to see coming from this?

And there’s this long pause. Well, I don’t know. I asked her, what number pops into your head first? She said, well, the number that popped into my head first was $10,000, but I mean, I… and I said, stop fine, $10,000 done.

And how many people do you think you could get in this class? I get another long pause. I’m like, okay, again, what number popped into your head first. She said 20? I’m like, great. So we have a  good, better, best of 10, 15 or 20. I always want you to set three levels of goals. It’d be like, I have to be able to hit this goal. This would be great. And this would be a home run.

So good, better, best of 10, 15 or 20. Let’s charge $900 for this class. And it’s a 90 day thing- that’s nice, like $10 a day for this class. 900 bucks get 20 people in it, then you would have almost $20,000.

And she was like, wait, what? And I’m like, no, you decided, you knew the answer to all these questions. The answer bubbled up for you and then you swatted it away. No, no, that can’t be no, no, that’s not gonna be right. Oh, no, I can’t charge for that. Oh, no, maybe it’s in beta. Maybe I should charge less.

Quit it. Just quit it.

I want you to practice going with your first impulse. I want you to really start trusting your first thought. Especially in the areas where there’s no consequences, like drawing a flower. There’s no such thing as failure. Failure is just taking score too soon. Disappointment is taking score too soon. People don’t fail. They quit and you haven’t quit. You’re here. You’re right here with us. You’re doing it. You’re growing and changing.

Right now, you are harnessing the power of your creative energy. Right now, the transformation is happening. Maybe it didn’t happen in any of the previous days of your life. Maybe you’ve got 50 years that not happening. And right now it’s happening. That’s a miracle, you’re positioned for a miracle.

So that’s my little flower exercise. Draw a flower or think about drawing a flower. Which is more productive?