Create A Winter Goal-Setting Community

Create A Winter Goal-Setting Community

I sent an email this week that talked about how it’s going to be a long winter. I don’t care how you slice it. I don’t care what happens. It’s going to be a long winter and it can also be a joyful and productive winter, if you take time to do the work that you love… to do the work that you were designed to do. Do the work that feeds you, that nourishes you. It’s not the kind of work that takes energy from you, it’s work that gives you energy, that replenishes you, that lights you up.

It might be artistic work and it might not be artistic work. Lots of highly creative people are not the least bit artistic. And frankly, there are some artists who aren’t really all that creative. Creativity has to do with problem solving. It has to do with creating something new. It has to do with innovative problem solving.

So, wherever it is that you get called forward; wherever you’re always interested. If you see a book about it, you’re going to buy it. If you see something on TV about it, you’re going to watch it. If somebody brings it up in conversation, you immediately love that person and want to talk to them more.

That’s one of the qualities of highly creative people, is they actually have multiple zones of creative genius. There’s a lot of things that we can get lost in. So, you can do a little discernment for yourself about, do you want to just pick one? Do you want to have several? And where do you want to be? You know, if you’re going to commit time to it (and please. commit time to it) move it from the yes, should get there someday. Oh yeah, I really want to do that. Oh, that’s it’s in the spare room, I should really take a look at that.

Put it in your calendar. If you’re going to write every morning, then write every morning and put it in your calendar. If you’re going to spend two hours every Saturday afternoon, if you’re going to go for a walk every day, whatever it is, put it in your calendar and get some commitment around it.

And the best way to get commitment around it, of course, is to get some community around it. I can tell myself all day long that I’m going to do XYZ or I’m going to draw, or I’m going to write, or I’m going to do whatever. But if I tell you I’m going to do it, if I know that you are meeting me, that we’re going to do it together, that we’re both going to be there Saturday afternoon… well then, I’ll for sure be there. Right?

So, think about the work that you want to engage in this winter. Where do you want to get to? Like, oh, I’d really like to be able to play Somewhere Over The Rainbow on the ukulele by Christmas. I’d really like to have perfected my pastry technique. I’d really liked to have learned how to tie that fly or code that app or understand this. Whatever it is that you’re into, or where you want to get to… commit the time to it, put it in your calendar and better yet get some community around it.

And of course, the best way for people to stay highly involved in community around something is to pay for it. It doesn’t even have to be very much money, but to say, okay, we’re gonna have a Sunday afternoon writing group from 12 to 3. At 12 o’clock, we’re going to get on zoom. We’re going to check in with each other. How’s everybody doing? I’m going to turn off our cameras and microphones. We’re going to write for two hours. We’re going to check back in and say, how did it go?

That puts time on the calendar. We all do it, and I’m going to charge 50 bucks a month. I’ll get 10 people and 50 bucks a month is enough to notice… like if I paid 50 bucks a month for something, I’d be like, oh, well I kind of want to skip it, but I paid 50 bucks for it. I might as well be there.

You know…50 bucks, 10 people, that’s an extra 500 bucks a month. That’s fun. And you don’t have to keep it. You can give it away. You can donate it. You can share it and have a big party. You can do whatever you want with it, but scheduling that time and charging some money for it professionalizes it, makes it more of a thing and helps keep people from flaking out. And now all of a sudden, you’re creating an environment in which people are achieving the things they really want to get done.

What Would You Like To Share With The World?

What Would You Like To Share With The World?

What would you like to share with the world? What do you wish other people knew? Here’s the thing- people want to pay you. People want to give you money. People want to hire you. They like you already. We like to do business with people we like.

This is one of the things about being a highly creative person- you’re so good at so many things that you don’t notice how good you are, and the things that come to you most easily, you really dismiss. You think, well that’s nothing, everybody can do that.

So all these talents and skills that you have that you completely dismiss? You dismiss them because you feel like you didn’t earn them. I don’t know how I do that. I just do that. I just know how, I don’t know why. You dismissed them because you don’t have a degree in it. You haven’t formally studied it.

It was a year ago that it dawned on me.

I’ve never taken a writing workshop. I don’t know what they teach people when they teach writing. I never bothered to take a writing workshop. I just wrote. I was like, Oh, maybe I should check that out sometime. I wonder what they do in there. It was years before I thought of myself as a real writer.

I still kind of don’t think of myself as a real writer, the three/eight (depending on how you’re counting) published books, I wrote a really successful musical. I don’t know how much more “real” a writer gets, but there you have it.

So, you don’t think it’s worth anything, cause you don’t even know how you know how to do it. It’s an unconscious competence, right? You dismiss it cause you don’t have a degree in it. You think, oh, other people must know more about that than me. You dismiss it cause you think nobody else would be interested in it. Like, well, I know I love learning about organic gardening, or I love past life regressions, or I love this, but I don’t know that anybody else cares about that.

Oh, believe me, they will totally care about it. I was just looking the top courses on LinkedIn Learning (which is a huge e-learning platform) are on communication. People don’t know how to talk. They don’t know how to empathize. They don’t know how to be kind and authoritative at the same time. They don’t know how to claim and use their power in their office or in their family.

There’s a lot of things that you guys know about how the world works and how people work that you could be teaching. Get registered for the 24 Painful Mistakes to avoid when creating an online webinar. What I learned the hard way.

There was a great preview call I did last Saturday- I had a thousand people register for that call. A thousand. I’ve never had a thousand people register for anything. And people really showed up and then they bought. People are enrolling in this course a lot, because it’s really what everybody needs right now.

You have an opportunity to teach softer skills, you know, like empathy, relationships, courage. And you certainly have opportunities to teach hard skills- how to quilt like this, how to do this technique, Excel pivot tables…I don’t know, whatever.

That’s what I want you to do. Ask yourself, what would you like to share with the world? What do you wish other people knew. So, whether you do it by joining the Turner wisdom and online workshops class or not (of course I want you there if you want to be there!) but even if you’re not going to take that class, I want you to think about that. How can I just claim my authority a little bit more?

For me, the phrase that really helps is the phrase “I know what I know”.

I won a really big marketing award my first year in business, which was crazy because I didn’t know anything about marketing. I turned out as sort of a marketing savant, and then people were asking me to speak or give a workshop on marketing. And I was like, I don’t know… who am I to talk about that? I don’t know anything about that. And I thought, well, but I know what I know. And the fact that I wasn’t trained in it and just kind of went with my gut and things were against the rules… I didn’t know it was supposed to be hard. So I just did it the way it made sense to me, and it turns out that was really innovative and continues to be innovative. I’m actually speaking at a conference again next month about this very thing.

So remember… “I know what I know”. And it doesn’t matter how.

Your Network Is Your Net Worth

Your Network Is Your Net Worth

The thing that I wanted to talk to you guys about today is relationships. We were talking the other week about a growth mindset, and what a major indicator that is to success. Reminder: a growth mindset is looking at mistakes as learning, understanding that there’s going to be failure and mistakes, and even welcoming the opportunity and thinking of yourself as a lifelong learner.

So that’s one major indicator for success. The other one is your network. And how pleased with myself was I, when I was typing into the title, Your Network Is Your Net Worth. I was like, Oh, that’s good. Somebody should write that book. But it’s true.

You may have heard the often quoted “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with” from Jim Rohn. So, think of the five people you hang out with most. You are probably right in the middle in terms of weight, income, energy level, optimism, earning potential…all the things. Some of that stuff is genetically preset. There’s some stuff we can’t really change. But at least 50%, if not more, we can change. So, if you want to change your weight, your energy level, your income, your positivity, your spiritual journey, your whatever, you might need to start hanging out with four different people. Which doesn’t mean we get rid of our old friends, of course not.

My friend, Shasta Nelson is a friendship expert. She’s written three or four books on friendship. And one of the things she said that really struck me was- we replace about 50% of our friends every seven years. So, it is a natural cycle in friendship for people to sort of cycle in and out of your life.

It’s okay. You’re not meant to bring everybody with you on every step of the entire journey. People are with you for a while, and then they peel off and may come back. There’s just nothing more valuable than having a network of people (and network is such an awful word), but having connections with people who like you, respect you, will support you, that you can go to ask questions, sell things to people who are fans/friends.

And let me be clear for the entrepreneurs: your friends are not your clients. Maybe one or two of your friends might want it or might be interested in being a client, but mostly your friends are not your clients. Your family is not your clients. They’re not in your life to be your clients.

They’re not going to appreciate your work. They don’t care anymore than you care what they do when they go into their office. But, your friends are a great bridge to clients. The friends of your friends, the colleagues of your friends, the families of your friends: those people make great clients.

So if you have people who will refer you, who will recommend you, who will speak up for you, then you have something really worthwhile.

How To Be Good At Anything

How To Be Good At Anything

This is sort of a funny talking topic for highly creative people, because highly creative people are good at a lot of things. That’s one of the characteristics of the highly creative person is we’ve got a lot of interests.

We have a lot of talents and skills. We are easily bored. We’re very adept and we’re used to picking things up very quickly, which means that we often end up with a really “patchwork quilt” resume. A lot of half-finished projects, and sort of that feeling of “Jack of all trades, master of none”.

I just want to underline again: having brilliant ideas all the time, being good at a lot of things, is not a character defect. And it’s something that people who aren’t highly creative people have trouble understanding, because they’re not good at a lot of things. So, it’s confusing to them. It’s like, well just pick something. And you’re like, well, I can’t pick something. I love all the things.

So I want to suggest a couple of things.

1. Be good at a lot of things.

One of the ways to be good at anything is to be good at a lot of things, because when you are doing a lot of things, you are continuing to engage your brain in new ways. You’re wearing down new neural pathways between you and new information. You’ve experienced yourself in a new way.

2. Look for transferable skills.

When you are good at a lot of things, you’re good because of probably three or four drivers within your intellect and personality. So, look at the way in which you are good at things. For example, what is it that engages you? What is it that moves you forward? What is it that allows you to learn and pick things up quickly?

Is it your sensitivity? Is it your curiosity? Is it your drive? Is it your passion? Is it your taste buds? The way you do one thing is the way you do everything. So, the way I go about organizing my sock drawer is exactly the same way I go about running my six or seven figure business. Same with you, the way in which you go about cleaning the kitchen is very much the way in which you go about making a painting. And if it’s not, take a look at that because you could probably make one or the other a lot happier and more flowy for you.

This is the other answer for those of you who have a real patchwork-quilt resume and feel like, Oh, I’m not really good at anything. I’m kind of unemployable. I got it- I don’t think it’s an exaggeration to say I’ve had over a hundred jobs. I delivered flowers. I was a barista, an executive assistant, I produced radio dramas, I was a whitewater river guide. I was this children’s birthday clown. Like you name it? I did it. I did all the things and, what I didn’t know was that I was preparing myself to do this job. I was amassing a lot of skills and talents and insights into different worlds that prepared me to have this job. And again, the things that made me good at one thing made me good at all the things.

So, look for the umbrella. Stop telling yourself, Oh, none of this goes together. Oh, I’m a mess. Oh, I’m Jack of all trades master of none. Not true. You have been mastering whatever that umbrella skill is. And when you start telling people that umbrella skill, they will totally respect you.

3. Continue to cultivate and lean into that beginner’s mind.

We know a beginner’s mind is when you don’t even know what you don’t know. Somebody says, pick this up and move it over here. You’d go, Okay. I’ll pick it up and move it over. Somebody says, do this this way. You say sure. You don’t have the voice that says, I’ve always learned to do it this way, or I think I’ll have a better experience if I do it my way. No, with a beginner’s mind you say sure. I will. We do that until we have enough experience to be able to make our own decisions.

Maintaining that beginner’s mind really is about cultivating an ego-less state. Where we don’t think we know best, and we don’t have advice or suggestions or criticisms, we’re just doing it the way we were told to do it. I always feel like I never did any one thing enough to really get good at it or really understand it.

4. Learn to tolerate being bad at things.

This is one of the tricky parts for highly creative people, because you’re so good at so many things. And you are used to picking things up really quickly and being good at things right away.

You don’t develop much in the way of patience and tolerance for your own shortcomings. There’s the moment you fall in love with your art, your craft, your whatever. And there’s this really great time at the beginning when you’re super enthusiastic, when you have beginner’s mind. And then there’s this really long middle part where you have the discernment to know what is good and how you want it to be, but you do not have the talents and skills to execute it.

The slog, that’s the part that separates the women from the girls, the men from the boys, the artists from the non-artists.

You have to be able to tolerate being bad at something until you are good at it.

You have to put in the hours. You are being called forward to mature past the idea of perfectionism. You were being called forward to mature past the idea that it matters whether or not you fail. You were being called forward to mature past the point of fear into the point of exploration. That’s what you’ve been called for.

So, how to be good at anything? Do a lot of things. Look for the transferable skills, maintain beginner’s mind and relate to beginner’s mind, and learn to tolerate being bad at things. Notice your multiplicity of gifts. You, too, are a surprise box. You have so many talents and skills, and you are such a gift to the world. Think about how you can share your gifts with the world today.

Disappointments & Remembering That Nothing Bad is Happening

Disappointments & Remembering That Nothing Bad is Happening

What I’m inspired to talk about today is disappointment and dealing with disappointment, because there’s a lot of disappointing news out there. There are heartbreaking things, and then there’s other people’s responses to the disappointing news, which is also disappointing.

Then, there’s the disappointments when we let down ourselves. And I know that it’s one of the reasons why some of you did not enroll in the bunny slope- it’s not because you didn’t trust me. Not because you thought, Oh, is this going to be a good training? I think you’re pretty convinced that I can lead you places you want to go.

But, more because you didn’t trust yourself. Because you’ve let yourself down. You’ve disappointed yourself. You have unfinished projects, you have unfinished classes, you have unfinished books and you feel like I don’t deserve another one of these until I’ve finished up what’s on my plate.

And I just want to say put down the whip, for one thing- especially when it comes to workshops and trainings. I want you to imagine that you have a guardian angel who’s in charge of your education and she tells you when to turn it off. Like, those books that you’ve put down halfway through, it’s cause you were done. You were done with the experience, especially with most self-help books and most nonfiction books.

The really good stuff is in the first third of the book, and then it kind of peters out. Not all books are like that, of course. Some of them are wonderful all the way through, or have valuable stuff all the way through, but a lot of them start out strong and then that’s it- that’s sort of all they have.

Same goes with live trainings and workshops. I try to tune into as many of my colleagues’ and friends’ teachings as I can, partly because I’m a lifelong learner and I’m always interested in what they’re up to. But also, I want the extra vision. I want to be able to peer in there and be like, what are they doing? How are they doing it? And sometimes, wow, I’m disappointed. Their content is really slender and kind of weak, so you weren’t wrong to tune out. You’re just like, Oh, okay. Apparently I only needed 20 minutes of that. I paid the full tuition and I got what I needed in that first 20 minutes or that first class, or it was for three classes and I can check it off.

Isn’t that a nicer perspective than, Oh, I’m a failure because I didn’t check every box. I didn’t complete every thing.

I mean, this isn’t school, I’m not your mom and there’s no gold stars. So, if something isn’t holding your attention, that’s an invitation, right? Is it not holding your attention because it’s not really a good fit for you right now? Is it not holding your attention because you’re chickening out because it’s challenging you, and you’re not comfortable with that?

All disappointment is an invitation. That’s where I’m headed with this. And, it’s important to notice how you respond to disappointment.

Nothing bad is happening.

Write that down: nothing bad is happening. And this is a phrase that I use constantly in my life. It’s to assess what’s going on because sometimes it feels like something really bad is happening, but remembering the phrase, nothing bad is happening, does a few things for me.

One, it reminds me that I have a personal spiritual belief that we live in a benevolent universe- the nature of the universe bends towards kindness, towards love. Love is the energetic foundation of all things. So, if I believe that everything is love, then nothing bad is happening.

So, I stay grounded in that reality. It may not be what I want. It may not be what I prefer. It may not be how I would do it. But, it’s not necessarily bad.

And then the next question is, okay, well, if nothing bad is happening, what is happening?

Is something unfortunate happening, is something heartbreaking happening, something challenging, something terrifying, something destructive, something energizing or is something intimidating happening? What’s the actual word? The more precise you can get in your language, the better you’re going to be at assessing what’s happening.

The third question is, where is this calling me forward? How am I being invited to grow? Am I being called forward to be a more compassionate person? Am I being called forward to be a gentler, more forgiving person? Am I being called forward to be an enlightened witness?

Because, when it comes to someone else’s pain and trauma, that’s kind of all you can do. That’s all most of us can do. Some people are trained to do more, but for most of us just standing there and saying, I see you. That’s what makes the difference for people, right?

So, nothing bad is happening. If nothing bad is happening, what is happening and where’s the invitation for me. How am I being called forward to grow my being, called forward to be a better communicator, a stronger leader.

The One Thing That Determines The Quality Of Your Life

The One Thing That Determines The Quality Of Your Life

The quality of your life is determined by the quality of your relationships. The quality of your life is determined by the quality of your relationships. I’m going to say it one more time, and I want you to write it down- the quality of your life is determined by the quality of your relationships.

Now, what do I mean by that? Well, we’ve all been in crappy relationships. And do you know how that affected your life? We’ve all been in crappy work environments and we know how that affected your energy and your ability to produce. We’ve all had bad teachers, and we know how that’s affected your ability to learn, to grow.

And we’ve been in great relationships and we know how we flower and blossom. We’ve been in great relationships where we get unexpected benefits. We’ve been in great relationships where we feel seen and heard and acknowledged, where we feel safe and excited. And then we laugh a lot.

So, how do you improve the quality of relationships? How do you have more relationships, particularly now when we’re so isolated?

You need a list. A list gives you resources. Everything good comes through other people- job opportunities come through. Other people, friends come through. Other people, relationships come through. Other people, money comes from other people.

Clients come from other people. God comes to us from other people. And the thing is, you can’t wait until you’re in crisis to build a list. You need to build a list ahead of time. You need to build your community ahead of time. You need to invest in your relationships ahead of time.

You want to attract people who are into your work, but you also want to attract people who are just interested in your work. They may not want to buy something, but they’re on the same path as you. They’re committed to some of the same principles as you are. They’re in your tribe, they share your values. They might not be good clients, but they might know other people who are.

Maybe you don’t want to sell anything, but you want to have some community around the stuff you do. Maybe you want a list of moms who quilt. Maybe you want a list to help your PTA, to help your school board. Maybe you want a list to help your place of worship, your church or your synagogue.

Maybe there’s a bookstore, a theater company or an arts organization that you want to help support. Maybe you have a cause you want to help- clean up the beach or keep the trail clean- whatever it is you’re into.

You want to connect with other people who love what you love. And the way to do that is with email. I’m going to make this super simple, since there’s a billion ways to market. If you’re going to pick one way (and you should start with one way) email is it.

And here’s why- it’s incredibly cheap. It can be free, but you’re better off with a paid service. Even if you just start with MailChimp, fine- it’s super effective. The ROI on email is still like $44 dollars for every $1 you invest. For every $1 that any industry invests in email marketing, they get $44 back. That’s a crazy ROI.

The reason it needs to be an email list is because you need to own the list. People tell me, Oh, I’ve got this big Facebook group. Great. But if Facebook goes down, which it has, and probably will again, you have no way of reaching those people. Oh, I’ve got a million podcast listeners. Well, that’s great. But again, you can’t reach them. You can’t make them do anything. You can’t. They’re just listening passively. They’re not engaged with you. Emails = engagement. That’s what emails are about is engagement, right? It’s a dialogue. It’s a conversation.

You might have that feeling of, well, I don’t want to bother people. I don’t want to pester people. Well, of course you don’t, you’re a polite person and you have a sense of boundaries. That’s good. That’s important. But, the magic of email is that you cannot bother people. It’s impossible. They are 100% in charge.

They opt in. They choose when to look at their email. They choose what to open, what to click, what to read, what to unsubscribe, what to share, what to forward, what to write back. They are 100% in control of that process. There’s no other marketing tool in the world where the consumer is a hundred percent in control of the process.

I can’t control what ads come up on the TV or who’s sponsoring the podcast I like, or what billboards I see. But the email, I 100% control that process. So, it’s impossible to bother people. And if you are sharing cool content, people are going to be glad to hear from you.