Sometimes when you make a big change in your life, all hell breaks loose around you.
I mean, here you are, all pumped up from your brand-new and exciting decision to…
….leave your overworked/underpaid job
….start taking better care of yourself
….clear your clutter
….start charging what you’re worth
….actually work on your creative project for 15 minutes every day
And you’re feeling so good and brave!
You feel joyful and excited and have butterflies in your stomach!
And then….
And then….
And then…
someone you love gets sick (hospital sick)
or
you get fired (and you were going to quit anyway, but wow…fired???!!)
or
your lover gets mad (ugly mad)
or
your house falls apart (the roof literally caves in)
or
or
or
And it really seems like there is no way you can possibly follow through on your new commitment to your self, your creativity and your prosperity.
It really seems like you must abandon your new decision and go back – at least for a little while – to the way things were.
But please please don’t.
You Must Keep Your Resolve — Especially When It Seems Impossible.
These Troubles Are A Kind Of A Test.
Now I’m not saying that you should ignore the sick person or leave your lover or fail to fix the house.
I’m saying you’ve got to manage these “Helena Handbasket Moments” in A NEW WAY.
Welcome to Transformation-Induced Chaos.
When you think about it, it’s no surprise there’s so much turmoil — you are changing and growing at lightening speed and you’re going to get some splashback, right?
So the secret is not to take all this chaos as a sign to revert to your old behavior.
Sam’s Slightly Counter-Intuitive Two-Fold Remedy for Transformation-Induced Chaos
The two-fold trick to managing this might seem a bit counter-intuitive:
1) Focus first on yourself and your well-being
2) Focus on the money
So for #1, make sure that you are calm, rested, fed and centered. Nothing good happens when you are running around undernourished in any sense of the word.
Take time for your art, for your spiritual work and for the things that bring you joy. In this way, you’ll be able to negotiate the pesky “circumstances” of your life. (And yes, even the IRS, the threat of divorce and the shadow of bankruptcy is just a circumstance — it’s no reason to lose your balance : )
And for #2, keep your eye on your highest-income producing activities.
Stand firm in your rate increase.
Refuse to work cheap.
Draw a firm boundary around your creative-work time each day.
Celebrate your daily successes AND keep it up!
You will be much better able to help yourself and the people in your life if you are bringing in a healthy income.
(Please note: bringing in a healthy income will not suddenly turn you into a money-grubber, a shallow, materialistic person, nor will it take away from your street cred as a “real” artist. It will simply give you the freedom to make new choices.)
So while it may seem “selfish” to be out getting new clients when your family is in crisis, it’s actually an act of compassion. You are putting your own oxygen mask on first.
And it may seem “irresponsible” to keep your meditation time each morning when your lover is so upset, but it’s actually an act of true love. You are nourishing the love within yourself so you can better share it with another.
And while others may rush to judge you and your new priorities, their criticism is just a light breeze blowing by as you walk, run, rush pellmell or stagger into your new life.
Keep your eye on your prize.
What’s the prize?
A satisfying creative life filled with love.
How to change your life without running-around-crazy-like-your-hair’s-on-fire – aka – how to stay serene and joyful while you change the world is a bit of a challenge.
But if you’re ready for the chaos and you stand firm and fight, you can find a gateway to a whole new kind of heaven.
We hear this story all the time:
“I tried everything! And then finally…”
Finally, the solution is found.
Finally, the right diet and exercise plan kicks in.
Finally, your perfect partner arrives in your life.
Finally, the gate that seemed locked is opened.
And maybe part of us thinks,
“Jeez, if only I’d tried this sooner…”
But to me, the important part of the story is the first part:
I Tried Everything.
Yes, you did. You tried things and you kept trying and you kept showing up and you persisted even when you were so discouraged you couldn’t even think straight. That’s how a person gets to the “finally” part. By staying on the path and putting one foot in front of the other.
That’s faith in action.
And for those of you who haven’t gotten to the “finally” part of the story – oh, honey – I feel your pain.
Especially when everyone around you has such helpful suggestions. Suggestions like, “Oh, when you stop trying – that’s when it will happen!” Really? Or, “You should try this thing that worked for me/my sister/my neighbor’s best friend in Ohio.” Really?
And maybe you’re even thinking about giving up. And maybe you should.
Here’s one way to get a reading on whether or not you should just give up: make a picture in your mind of you just setting down this burden. Imagine you just taking the whole heavy load and setting it down right there on the side of the road. Imagine taking a few steps down the road away from it.
How do you feel? Relieved?
Then maybe, sweetheart, it’s time to set it down for now – not necessarily for always, but for now.
Or do you feel that welling up of spirit (your parents might have called it “stubbornness”) that says, “I WILL find a way!” If that’s so, then all righty. Pick your bundle up and walk on. And keep trying everything – even crazy things, even the thing that worked for that person in Ohio.
And someday – I guarantee it – you will be able to tell the story of your journey and say, “Well, I tried everything, and then finally…”
So tell me – what circumstance in your life had you trying everything? And what finally worked? Or are you still in it? What have you tried? What are you thinking of doing next?
Wondering how to balance a global mission and a humble heart?
How to handle all those pesky compliments?
What to do when you don’t really believe you’re all that great but you still need to promote yourself?
Yep. Me, too.
Plus I got this inquiry the other day:
Hi Sam,
Thanks for yesterday’s call – it was really inspiring.
You said that your big challenge had been visibility, and “putting on your rock star coat” (I loved that image). That’s exactly what I struggle with – coming out from hiding.
I’d love to hear more about how you stepped out into the light – if there’s specific steps you took, how you coped with the emotional backlash of being more seen etc. Also the spiritual tension of humility v reaching for the stars…
Thanks again!
Best wishes,
D.
So I created the following call — please feel free to listen, download and share it — no registration required.
You’ll find out why you must:
1) Be a unicorn.
2) Be a rose.
3) Be gracious.
4) Be the department store Santa
5) Be 1% more present.
6) Be YOU.
7) Be an open, spiritually-centered vessel for money, success and praise.
“Just what I needed to hear today as I prep for the BIG YES! Thanks. You mentioned so many things that shoot right to the heart of my worries.” – G.A.
“Hi Sam! This was a GREAT call. Thank you for sharing your knowledge!” – R.C.
So…what do you think?
Are you willing to start using your magical powers for good?
P.S. I make a few references to my upcoming event
The Big Yes: How To Overcome Procrastination, Perfectionism and Self-Doubt and Make Money from Your Creativity
June 20-23, 2013
San Diego, CA
and there’s still a few tickets available — if you’re interested you can find out more here: www.BigYesRevolution.com — Thanks!
Have you said this sentence to yourself about your creative projects, your clutter or getting your business off the ground?
“I know what I need to do…I just have to make myself do it.”
Yep.
I’ve said it, too.
And it’s a huge, horrible lie.
The truth is this:
You are aware of one method that you could use to get your project moving and…you’re not interested in it.
It’s like you’re standing down at the bottom of a mountain….
You can see the top and you think, “Oh! I really want to go there!”
From where you are, you can see one big path up the mountain. Lots of people are on this path.
But for some reason, you don’t want to take that path. You think about it, but you don’t move.
It’s just…not for you.
You may even start to wonder if there’s another way up the mountain.
But then your big “rational” voice says, “Don’t be silly. There’s the road up the mountain. Just do it. Just make yourself do it. What’s your problem? Are you lazy? Why don’t you just do it already?”
This voice is amplified by helpful magazine articles and practical-minded friends and well-meaning fools who keep telling you, “There’s only this one way up the mountain and you know you need to climb the mountain so get on with it, why don’t you?”
And yet you don’t move.
You start to feel worse and worse — because you really do want to get to the top of the mountain. So maybe you work on your self-esteem or you say affirmations or you try enforcing your willpower… but still…
Nothing.
Zip.
No movement.
Here’s the truth:
You aren’t moving because, honey — THAT ISN’T YOUR PATH.
There IS a way for you to climb that mountain and accomplish your goals… it’s just not the way you think.
After all, you are a Creative Genius.
You think different.
Your life is about art and self-expression and healing people and laughter and loving and doing the kind of work that doesn’t even feel like work because you love it so much and you don’t even notice the time passing.
And The World Needs Your Art.
So Here’s My Proposition:
Session #1: Figure out which of your projects to work on first
Session #2: Create a personalized project plan that’s both fun & easy (your own personal way up the mountain)
Session #3: Break through your self-imposed barriers to success
Session #4: Discover the perfect vocabulary for expressing the truth about you & your work (useful for both marketing and general self-worth)
Session #5: Find your tribe of ideal clients, collaborators and colleagues
Session #6: Stay in action (no petering out halfway through, OK?) and CELEBRATE!
Plus there’s bonus “Office Hours” calls and a year-long membership in my 365 Club PLUS you get a free ticket to the 3-Day
Retreat in San Diego, June 20-23, “The Big Yes: How To Overcome Procrastination, Perfectionism and Self-Doubt and Say YES to
Your Creative Prosperity”
Fun, right?
So if you’re ready to create your own success and make joyful progress on your projects in your own (ididiosyncratic, genius-y) ways, then check out The Monster Get It Done 6-Week Teleclass page here: www.MonsterGetItDone.com and sign yourself up!
(And if it turns out to not be the right thing for you, no worries – just let me know before May 8th and I’ll cheerfully refund your tuition. No questions asked. No hassle. No problem.)
I’m ready to help you find YOUR way up the mountain, so let me know – are you in?
P.S. Feeling ambivalent? Here are three steps you could take right now:
1) Watch, listen or download the MP3 of the free preview call — Get Unstuckified: Why You Procrastinate On The Important Stuff and What To Do About It (it’s all the way down at the bottom of the page)
2) Schedule a free 15-minute “evaluation” call with me here: https://www.timetrade.com/book/WWDYQ
3) If your intuition is tugging on your sleeve and you don’t feel like doing the “evaluation” call, then why not just jump in and register for The Monster Get It Done Teleclass
You can get started for as little as $199 — if you discover it’s not right for you, just let me know by May 8th and I’ll cheerfully refund your tuition, no questions asked.
Check out: www.MonsterGetItDone.com
Thank you. – SSB.
Here’s a great question I’ve gotten a bunch recently — it gets phrased different ways, like…
“What would a daily schedule look like for me as an independent artist?”- K.
“How to complete things and avoid being overwhelmed?” – J.
“Should you focus on one goal or several?” – Daddio
“Help! How to plan so I’m not just responding to the urgent?!” – C.
“Guidance on sticking with one project while so many new ideas call for action”- K.
Here’s my answer: I wonder if this is actually a problem for you.
Or to put it another way….
Here’s my other answer: What result are you seeking that you are currently not getting?
The thing is, creative people have a lot of weird ways of getting things done. Ways that look completely bananas to the outside world. It’s like we’re the rheumy-eyed uncles who drink and smoke and say rude things and somehow end up living healthy as a horse until the age of 102. We’re an anomaly.
Not knowing the details of your work or your habitual pitfalls, it’s hard for me to give you specific advice, so I’ll just pull back the curtain and let you in on what I do:
I don’t really keep a regular schedule. I work when I want to work, or when it’s needful for me to work, and I goof off the rest of the time. I spend an inordinate amount of time learning, reading, listening to audios, and a shocking amount of time just having conversations with people I find interesting. I’m not very good about setting time limits or about “balance” in my life — whatever that’s supposed to mean.
I often go through long weeks when, much to my frustration, it seems like nothing is happening. In those times I remind myself that every field must lay fallow.
At other times I’m scheduled up to my eyeballs and I’m an absolute whirling dervish of productivity.
I pretty much always DO do the following:no electronics on Sundays
- no electronics in the bedroom
- generally I’m done by 7pm and then I’m off all night
- walk or swim every day
- meditate every day
- make a list each morning of the THREE things that MUST get done that day
- keep a running list of the bajillion of other things that need doing
- keep a “genius” folder for great ideas that I’m not ready to move forward on yet
I find that I work better when I have a few big projects going simultaneously. But “a few” meaning 3-5… not 12-30, you know?
Otherwise, I’ve learned to trust myself and to go with the flow. Some days I’m craz-zay-zee productive. Some days I go back to bed at 11am. Some days I write, some days I do the money stuff, some days I plan long-term, some days I putter and piddle the whole day away.
Now, I know a lot of very successful people who lead far more regimented lives than this, and I admire them.
And if you are NOT getting the results in your life that you want, well….you may want to try imposing some more structure on your day. BUT ONLY IF YOU KNOW YOURSELF TO BE THE KIND OF PERSON WHO RESPONDS WELL TO STRUCTURE. You know what I mean?
But make sure you do it in the way that works for YOU. So if you’re all energetic in the morning, schedule your hardest tasks for then. Eat your broccoli first, as it were.
And if you know that you only write well without interruptions, then for heaven’s sake, turn off your phone when you sit down to compose.
So my message is this: Put Down The Whip.
You don’t need to be better than you are.
You’re a strange bird, and you’re going to have to surf your schedule in whatever way seems right to you.
My guess is you probably don’t have to work any harder than you do already, but you may have to learn to work smarter. And that may mean saying “no” to people who are time-sucks, turning your back on household tasks and keeping your focus on your highest-income producing activities.
Please let me know how it’s all going with you
I get this sort of question a lot:
“Help me get my 15 minutes! Life is so busy. The kids, dog and husband need so much! I’m going crazy.” – K.H.
“Do you know how to squeeeeeeeze a few more hours out of a day? LOL – C.C.
Here is my not-kidding answer:
DO LESS STUFF.
That’s right. You heard me.
Do less.
And here’s an exercise to show you HOW to do that:
1) Write down all of the activities that you typically do in a day, like, say…
drive car pool
laundry
pay bills
make phone calls
write
work out
get the mail
read
work with clients
play with the kids
plan upcoming travel
coordinate volunteers/charity work
grocery store
cook supper
watch TV
2) Now, put an asterisk next to the tasks that ONLY you can do. Using our previous list that would be something like:
write
work out
read
work with clients
play with the kids
3) Find some way to get those other items off your plate.
You may need to hire someone, you may be able to simply ask some of the other grown-ups in your life for help. Teach the kids to do the laundry and get a co-chair to work with the volunteers.
Yes, you will have to get over some of your perfectionism – nobody else is going to do as good of a job cooking dinner or sorting the laundry as you do. But guess what? You have bigger fish to fry.
Your creative life is never going to take precedence over your quotidian life unless you make it happen.
Let me say this one more time:
The work that only you can do, you must do.
The work that anyone can do, someone else must do.
And if you’d like some help strategizing & executing, please consider working with me one-on-one and fill out my VIP Application here: http://bit.ly/VIPapp
Let me know how it goes for you, OK?
