It’s so exciting at The Beginning, isn’t it?
You’re learning, you’re launching, you’re out there on the far edge of your experience and it’s a real thrill.
Then.
Then comes The Middle.
The Middle is where it gets kinda boring. It’s when the to-do list becomes an exercise in tedium. The End might have certain charms, but there’s very little that’s sexy about The Middle.
It’s like how Christmas shopping is for some people: way-super-fun picking out the lovely gifts for the people you adore, wrapping and shipping is an unbelievable drag but then witnessing the unwrapping of the gift is a blast.
So – how do you stay motivated through The Middle?
1) Remember your values. You began this process with the idea that your work will bring something important (more peace, greater enlightenment, better banana bread, thinner thighs…) to the world. Picture that effect rippling out in the world. Feel the joy. When you can’t get the train set suitably wrapped, it can be very invigorating to focus on the future: the delighted look on your little engineer’s face upon opening.
2) Delegate. Get help. Farm it out. Beg, borrow or trade. The work that is a giant drag for you might actually be sort of fun for someone else. Plus, that other person is not burdened by your story about your journey. (They aren’t thinking, “Oh, I should be done with this by now” or “This is probably a really dumb idea” or “Who cares about enlightenment anyway?” They are just doing the work.)
3) Pursue clarity. Put the to-do list down, turn off your phone and sit quietly for five minutes. No distractions. No music. Lock yourself in the bathroom to get away from the family if you have to, but find the place that is quiet inside of your head and hang out there. Deep breaths. Tell the monkey mind to zip it and call upon your more evolved, more loving, more spiritually evolved self. Put your hand on your belly and tune in to your Inner Wisdom, your Intuition, your Higher Self.
Listen closely to what that still, small voice has to say.
The Middle feels a little better now, huh?
I thought you all might enjoy both considering this question (and how it does or doesn’t show up in your life) and then answer it for yourself. If your answer differs from mine at all, I’d love to hear it!
Dear Sam,
Hey the topic I wanted to visit at the end of the last session was on creating urgency in my works and life passions. I prefer to be pulled to my works and called to my passions. Inspiration rather than motivation is what I seek. I have many fun projects both short and long term as well as key life goals such as co-creating my soulmate in my life. The closer I seem to get the more resistance shows up in the form of artificially slowing down my actions.
How I can create pull and inspiration on a consistent, eyes on the prize, moment to moment basis is what I believe I am looking for now. I can be fired up for a day or two and then…
I appreciate your input oh wise goddess of GID.
Smiles,
Jim
Author of the upcoming book: Abu-Dance: Dancing with Abundance
Dear Jim –
Great question.
By definition, inspiration is a drawing in of a divine influence – esp. through the breath. So it might help to think of your daily actions as 15 minutes worth of deliberate “breathing” and then all-day worth of noticing your “breathing” whenever it comes up. In other words, maybe you spend 15 minutes on “attracting a soulmate” activities and then spend all day noticing how you are being/becoming the perfect soulmate for the world.
A few more tips:
1) Get a bigger carrot. Tie each action to a truly delightful prize. Acknowledge each tiny victory in some significant way. Reward your inner nine-year old in a very tangible way each day.
2) Get a shorter stick. Create barely-realistic deadlines and then beat them. Maybe think in 4-day increments. What would you love to have completed by this Monday?
3) Get a friend. Partnering with someone else (in the Get It Done group or not) who is also working on goals and agreeing to check in every day can be a terrific way to stay on track.
4) Cultivate your intuition. Allowing your “belly wisdom” to determine your next inspired right action might fight off the paralyzing slow-down.
Does this help?
Wear something different today.
Have something unusual for lunch.
Drive a different route home.
Listen to a different radio station.
Change your catch-phrase.
Learn a new computer skill.
Shop in a different grocery store.
Try a new beverage.
Shake up your workout routine.
Varying your routine – even in the smallest and most incremental way – can shake loose a whole bunch of delightful new thoughts.
You get to choose at least some of the elements of your life, so enjoy exercising that privilege, OK?
You are no longer a child. You are not trying to get out of math quiz. You don’t fake it. If your body is telling you that you are tired, listen.
And even if you have the impulse that you MIGHT be faking it – that’s important information, too.
About once a month I teach a 4-day intensive at Sam Christensen Studios (www.SamChristensen.com) and I finally had to make it a policy that I keep the day after we end free of appointments and obligations. While it panics me slightly to do so (how can I take a day off! I’ve been in a workshop for four days! I’m so far behind in my work! Eeeep!) I have learned that if I do NOT take the day off, I will pay for it all week.
In other words: one day of rest equals a whole week of productivity. And “pushing through” leads to several days of exhaustion and poor quality of life.
Where can you rest? What deadlines could you move? What projects could you set aside for now?
Want to get truly radical? Rest BEFORE you get tired.
Also known as: fill up the gas tank before it hits “E.”
Now excuse me, please – I’m going to go take a nap.
Applause isn’t about you.
Applause is something the audience needs to express to in order complete their experience.
Applause is created by them (notice that you can’t really make them do it) and it is created for them. They may think they are applauding you, but really they are applauding to punctuate their own experience – which is great!
Sort of like when you take a bite of a cookie and say, “Yum.”
The “yum” is not for the cookie. The cookie doesn’t care.
The cookie has already done its job of being a fabulous cookie.
The “yum” is for you. The “yum” sets apart this bite from all other bites. It underlines your experience and helps you to understand this particular moment of your life.
So don’t feel shy about graciously accepting praise or applause – you’re doing your audience a favor by welcoming their engagement.
(And the really important part for you is not whether or not people liked or didn’t like what you did, it’s what they liked or didn’t like about it that is significant. The approval means very little. The specific feedback means everything.)
So go ahead and take your bow, because like I said…it’s not really about you.
Loneliness is a very serious illness that often goes unrecognized and undiagnosed. The consequences of a lonely heart include chronic sorrow, creative stultification and a lot of internal yelling at yourself.
Sometimes we feel lonely even though we’re in a group.
Sometimes we feel lonely right in the middle of feeling very happy.
Sometimes we get so used to feeling lonely that we wear it all the time like a heavy, dark cloak.
If your heart needs a friend, it’s time to do things differently.
Try these strategies – maybe even try one per day?
(Don’t roll your eyes – this is a serious situation and it’s time to try even the dumb things, OK?)
- Go to a local coffee shop and give someone there an honest compliment
- Take a class in something you know nothing about
- Call up an old pal (even if it’s been years and years) and find out how they are
- Practice seeing the eternal, undimmed beauty that abides in each and every person
- Make sure you get touched every single day, even if that means daily self-massage
- Go hang out in the dog park (whether you have a dog or not)
- Break your habits: take a different route to work, eat a different lunch, create a new outfit
What have you tried? What’s worked for you when you’ve been lonely?
P.S. If you’re a single woman seeking a true and loving partner, check out “Calling In The One” – this is a free teleclass with Katherine Woodward Thomas and Claire Zammit – register and you’ll get the recording for free, too: http://bit.ly/clTnGH (yes, I’m a Big Fan and an affiliate for them, but honestly, I’d recommend them even if I weren’t, because I have several friends for whom the Calling In The One process has really WORKED!) – SSB.
