Exercise: What’s Kept You From Succeeding?
Sometimes it is simply your own stubbornness and stuck thinking that are holding you back.
This exercise asks you to be completely frank with yourself — asking some tough questions in a kindly voice to help you break through some of those nasty internal barrier success.
So grab a pen and, working swiftly, answer the following 10 questions for yourself with as much blazing honesty as you can muster:
- What has stopped you from succeeding before this?
- What’s your most likely form of self-sabotage?
- If you found yourself engaging in that self-sabotage, how might you handle that?
- What are you afraid might happen if you fail at this project?
- How might you address the situation if that failure actually occurred?
- What are you afraid might happen if you succeed at this project?
- How might you address the situation if that success actually occurred?
- What qualities do you possess that can help you move through this project?
- What question has not been asked that you need
- What is the truth? (Start by writing, “The truth is…”) You may notice that imagining the worst of both failure and success, and then imagining how those eventualities, helps you feel a bit more in the driver’s seat.
Fear paralyzes;curiosity cures.
Writing down the answers to these questions encourages you to give voice to the monsters under the bed, disarming them once and for all.
The symptoms of Getting-Ready-to-Get-Ready syndrome include feeling like you can’t possibly move forward until you lose ten pounds, get a degree, receive permission, know the right people, have enough money, get more experience, pay your dues, or obtain the right equipment.
The trick to defeating Getting-Ready-to-Get-Ready syndrome is doing fifteen minutes of research. (And yes, this can be one of your fifteen-minute daily tasks.)
If you assume that you need to do something before you can do the thing you really want to do, please check that assumption — especially if the source of your information is your own mind. Google it, ask around, and, most important, ask someone who’s already done the thing you really want to do.
Chances are good that you’re over-complicating things.
There was the photographer who was convinced she couldn’t market herself until she had digitally optimized all her photos for her website, which would have meant weeks if not months of painstaking work. I asked her if she had one photo that she thought of as iconic, and when she said yes, I urged her to place just that one on her site. She was up and running twenty minutes later.
Lara was a highly intuitive performer who was feeling a pull toward embarking on a second career as a life coach, but she was feeling discouraged by the two years and several thousand dollars that certification would take.
Now, I admire and respect the people who’ve gone through coach certification, but it is not a prerequisite to being of great service to people.
When I pointed out that she already knew enough to at least get started with a few clients, she brightened right up.
Last I heard, she was running high-end retreats once a month in Beverly Hills — further proof that if you can deliver outstanding results, nobody really cares about your credentials.
And finally, there are the countless men and women who’ve told me that they can’t possibly get started on X, Y, or Z until they lose weight.
Honey, your destiny doesn’t care how much you weigh.
You can find a lover, sell your art, star in your show, and earn your fortune with the body you have right now. And it’s entirely possible that you will become so busy and happy working on your project that your body will self-adjust and become closer to your version of perfect.
After all, there’s nothing like joy to create health.
Exercise:
1. Write down all the activities that you typically do in a day, such as:
drive in the car pool
do laundry
pay bills
make phone calls
write
work out
get the mail
read
work with clients
play with the kids
plan upcoming travel
coordinate volunteers for charity event
go to the grocery store
cook supper
watch TV
2. Now put an asterisk next to the tasks that only you can do.
So the asterisked items might be:
write
work out
read
work with clients
play with the kids
3. Find a way to get the un-starred items off your plate.
You may need to hire someone, or you may need to simply ask some of the other grown-ups in your life for help.
Teach the kids to do the laundry, and get a co-chair to work with the volunteers.
Yes, you will have to get over some of your perfectionism — nobody else is going to do as good a job cooking dinner or sorting the laundry as you do.
But guess what? You have bigger fish to fry.
Your creative life is never going to take precedence over your everyday life unless you make it happen.
Peter is a sweet-tempered screenwriter with a tendency toward pessimism. He usually works on his scripts while seated in a corner of his big couch in his living room.
As a consequence, his coffee table is covered with papers and CDs, and there’s usually a pile of source material, old copies of Variety, and various notepads stacked by his feet on the floor.
When I suggested that a medium-sized bookcase and a good lamp next to his couch might make the place more orderly, Peter demurred.
“I should really work at a desk. I’ll just move all this stuff to the desk.”
But I would not be put off.
“Peter, I notice that there are two desks plus a dining room table in this apartment, and clearly you are not using any of them. You like to work here on the couch, so let’s make your work spot work for you!”
One bookshelf, one floor lamp, and three CD storage cases later, Peter was happily typing away.
He sold both of the desks — and his latest screenplay.
~~~
Meredith loves to multitask and to be in the center of the action. As a writer who specializes in articles, essays, and short stories about children and family life, she found her little office in the upstairs bedroom isolating and ineffective.
It seemed like no sooner did she sit down, than one of the kids needed something, or she wanted a cup of coffee, or it was time to make dinner.
Or maybe she just felt like those things might happen and she would miss them if she were trapped upstairs. So she turned the upstairs room into a much-desired retreat for her eldest child and moved her desk to a little nook just off the kitchen.
She moved her files into the front hall closet (which, I must add, only works because Meredith lives in Southern California and so she doesn’t really need her front closet for coats) and turned the closet doors into a bulletin board.
Now she loves typing merrily away while the pasta water comes to a boil and her husband watches TV.
Frequent interruptions wouldn’t work for everyone, but Meredith finds that being in the midst of domestic chaos cultivates her creativity.
Nontraditional work spaces can work perfectly, if they truly accommodate your needs.
Do you have a nontraditional workspace? Share in the comments below.
The What If…Workshop: where imagination meets practicality. It’s only $147 and it starts next week 11/18/13 — check it out here (link funky? try pasting this into your browser: https://sambennett.infusionsoft.com/app/orderForms/What-IfWorkshop )
And I’m so excited about this new class that I wrote you a poem…
What If…
This last year was the year
for sure
where you were
getting organized
getting the book done
getting the clutter cleared
starting yoga – again –
and really connecting with your
Inner Voice.
Really figuring out what you really want.
Really asking for it.
Really getting it.
But it seems like every time you tried to
make a move
someone needed you
there was a crisis
the dog got sick and
the roof broke open and
he lost his job and
those tests at the hospital what a
long night that was and
the money just wasn’t there – again –
And then
and then
and then
the voices in your head got started:
Who Do You Think You Are, Anyway?
Everyone’s Already Doing That.
You’re Not Qualified.
The Technology Is Too Hard.
Plus
You Never Finish Anything Anyway.
And so you stand there with the crumpled remains of a year in your hands.
Your hands that ache
to write
to play
to draw
to dance
to work
to share
to shape
to cut
to color
to create.
Your heart cries out.
Your hands cry out.
Please don’t let it be too late.
Wait.
It’s not too late.
It’s never too late.
As long as you draw breath,
it cannot be too late.
Start now.
I mean RIGHT NOW.
Write one sentence right now.
Keep one promise to yourself right now.
Do something just for you right now.
Be undistractible.
Because this is your year for sure.
©2013 Sam Bennett
Where imagination meets practicality: dreaming, prioritizing and doing for creative wackadoodle geniuses like you and me.
4 sessions:
Monday, Nov. 18 – Monday, Dec. 9
5pm PT/8pm ET
– You do not have to be there in person.
– All sessions are recorded & available for download so you can listen again & again.
– Call in from wherever you are OR listen online.
– This ALL-NEW curriculum is perfect for you if:
You want to get clear about what you should do next & the “next steps” that will get you there.
You want to get out of your own way.
You are sick of perfectionism blocking your happiness & productivity.
You’re ready to quit doing things the same old way and try something new.
You’re in the mood to experiment.
You’ve been meaning to take a workshop with me, but it just hasn’t been the right time, right offer or right price up to now.
And of course, satisfaction is guaranteed or your tuition cheerfully refunded.
—> find out more about The What If…Workshop here
Did I mention that it’s only $147?
See, that’s because I know I’ve been offering a lot of higher-end stuff this year, and it was important to me to close out this year with a no-brainer offer that anyone, at any level, could participate in and get GREAT BENEFIT from.
Let me know what you think about it, hm? After all, YOU all are my “market research” : ) and your feedback really matters to me.
—> find out more about The What If…Workshop here (click now because it starts next week! EEEP!)
P.S. What’s YOUR “What If…”? I bet you could help a lot of people by sharing it in the comments below….
Zone of Genius.
Being in Flow.
Work That Doesn’t Feel Like Work.
Creative people have a special talent for getting into the groove of a project and surfing the energy of it for hours and hours.
In this state of creative flow, there is no such thing as fear, procrastination, anxiety or self-doubt — there is only the joy of the work.
Wouldn’t it be great if you could make money from that same joyful place?
How much money would you like to be bringing in?
How much time would you like to spend each week on your art?
How many people do you think you could help if you were to create this life?
I know it’s possible, because I’ve done it.
And I’d like to help you do it.
Join The 94th Percentile
-
Only 6% of entrepreneurs ever make it to six-figures. (I’m one of them.)
Less than 10% of actors ever earn more than $10,000/year acting. (I’m one of them.)
Selling over 200 copies of a book of poetry makes it a “best-seller.” (I’ve done well over that.)
Less than 2% of completed manuscripts ever get a publishing contract. (I’ve done that.)
Now, these statistics are debatable, but even so, if you read them the wrong way you might come to believe that I am some kind of superwoman.
Not so.
I succeeded at those things because I had an idea and didn’t stop working until I made that idea a reality.
I succeeded because I was undistractible.
I succeeded because I didn’t know what I was doing was impossible.
Luckily, impossible things happen every day.
The truth I see is this:
The Odds Have Nothing To Do With Your Probability of Success
Odds are important when it comes to things that involve mathematical certainty – not creative success.
Once you are actually getting your work out into the world, the idea of “odds” becomes completely immaterial.
Conventional wisdom matters when you are doing conventional things.
Creativity and entrepreneurship are, by definition, the opposite of conventional.
Logic applies to things that obey the rules of logic.
Art and love and creative success is anything but logical.
So get those negative voices OUT of your head.
You CAN succeed doing what you love.
You CAN make money doing what you love.
You CAN create a life that is perfect for you.
Reinventing the Wheel
The problem is that no one ever taught you how to take control of your creative power and use it to help people & make money.
Some of you may have even been taught that making art was “selfish” and a sure-fire way to become a “starving artist.” I say: HOOEY.
There is plenty of money and success and joy in the world for those who want to go get it.
And I think you might be one of those people.
What If I Gave You My System and We Customized It For You?
What if we could spend the day together here in Southern California (somewhere around Los Angeles or Santa Barbara) and together we could make a plan for you to:
– bring in at least $1,500/month doing work you love
– have a marketing plan that feels like a party
– schedule your time so you get plenty of rest, meditation and exercise
I’m opening up a few spaces in my calendar for some select individuals to join me for a Big Wheel VIP Day.
We’ll meet in a swanky hotel room (my treat and of course you’ll stay the night : ) and talk, work, have lunch, work some more and by the middle of the afternoon, we’ll have created a fun, workable plan for you to execute over the next 3 months.
I’ll also give you monthly follow-up calls plus email support.
Does this sound interesting to you?
I urge you to fill out the no-obligation application HERE —
Even if you have no intention of ever doing this VIP day thing, the act of answering the quesions can be VERY ILLUMINATING. And I promise I won’t care if you fill it out and then never take another step. No worries.
Once my team gets your application, we’ll review it and if it seems like a good fit, we’ll invite you to have a 20-minute Big Wheel Evaluation Session with me.
MY PROMISE: I will not let you invest in this day with me unless I’m pretty confident we can create something at least as good as the plan I’ve outlined above. If I don’t think you’re ready, I won’t let you book it. Fair deal?
Willing to Take One Small Step?
I want you to fill out the no-obligation application HERE — and then, if you decide you’re really interested, we’ll talk about whether or not it’s the right move for you.
Thank you for reading.
And please leave a comment below to let me know how all this strikes you — I’m very interested in your reaction to this offer.
P.S. Here’s the reason I’m excited about offering the Big Wheel VIP Day experience:
I’m at my best when I can work intensively on one big project. Spending 4 hours with me all at once is better than a full year of monthly calls – I guarantee it.
I get more inspired, more intuitive and more genius-y when I get to spend the day focused on YOU.
So that’s why I’m offering this new format – because I think it will be more effective than anything else I’ve ever offered.
Fill out the application and see how it feels, why don’t you?
Thanks for being willing to experiment with me.
– SSB
