Consider the art of Selective Neglect.
We know we’re not going to get everything done today that we would like to get done.
We know that we’re probably not going to get it done tomorrow, either.
So rather than walking around feeling bad about all the stuff we know we’re not going to get to, let’s do some strategic thinking about “the list” itself.
We’ve discussed before the the idea of moving your highest-income producing activities to the top of the list (http://sambennett.wpengine.com/?s=highest+income+producing+activities) and I still find that to be a useful tactic.
But what about eliminating some of the non-income producing activities entirely? (I know – there goes your chances for being crowned Queen Perfectly Doing Everything…)
Seriously – what could just go? And I don’t just mean delegate, I mean eliminate.
For example:
– Alison has an online grocery delivery service do the bulk of her weekly food shopping. Yes, this deprives her of the opportunity to squeeze her own melons, so to speak, but it saves this working mother at least 2 hours a week of parking, shopping and schlepping.
– Nancy quit Facebook. Cold turkey. Probably gained her an extra 6-9 hours per week.
– Jessica quit her church choir. “I loved the singing,” she said, “But I was not loving the 2-hour rehearsal each Thursday night. Being home with my family instead means we’ve started a weekly game night – Bananagrams! – and now in church on Sundays I get to just relax and enjoy church.” So she gained two hours plus not having to be there early on Sunday – probably three hours a week.
– I put my husband in charge of all national and international events. I do skim the front section of the newspaper each day with one eye half-closed, just to stay abreast of the general news trends. But I realized that don’t really want to take the time to learn all the details. Plus, I find the details depressing. But my husband reads everything cover to cover and is well-informed about almost everything and so, when I find myself wondering about what’s actually going on in Tunisia, I just ask him. It’s very refreshing to remain deliberately under-informed in this world of the non-stop news cycle. How much time do I save? Maybe ten minutes a day plus a whole lot of brain space.
– David sent out a hilarious post-holiday email to his family and friends saying something to the effect of, “Dear Ones, A better father would probably be able to get his kids to write thank-you notes. But I’m not that guy. So please accept this generic email as a sign of our sincerest thanks for the gift/card/well-wishes you sent/made/delivered. We really like/appreciate/use it a lot. We love you. Sincerely…” This single dad’s big savings was in deciding to quit nagging his kids. Again, some gain in time, probably, the bigger gain was in his newly-peaceful approach toward his kids.
So what could you just give up on?
HINTS:
1) Look in the areas of your life where there are a lot of “shoulds” going on in your head.
2) Be willing to sacrifice some pleasure for a greater good. All of the activities above were at least somewhat pleasurable – Alison loves food and cooking, Nancy loved Facebook, Jessica loved her choir, I love being well-read and David loves having polite kids. But what if the gain in time or peace of mind is greater than the pleasure factor?
3) Is the gain in time or peace of mind greater than the ego gratification? (This is a biggie – so be gentle but firm with yourself in your answer to this one.) After all, it can feel pretty good to know that, “you did everything yourself, ” or that “you stay connected online,” or that “you sing,” “you’re informed,” “you appear to have perfect kids.” Your ego could take quite a hit, here. But there is great freedom in stepping down off the moral high ground.
4) I would not eliminate anything in the arena of personal care. The time you spend working out, meditating and getting your hair cut is a valuable investment in your appearance and your self-respect. Clearly, this is just my big ol’ opinion (and I suppose if you’re spending an hour blow-drying your hair every morning or two hours a week at the manicurist keeping up your elaborate acrylics, you could consider an adjustment there…) but I really want you to keep your self feeling good and looking current. Not necessarily dressed in cutting-edge fashion, but in a style that is neat, clean, well-fitted to your lifestyle and, you know, from this decade.
5) Try it before you decide. Consider eliminating something for a week or a month before you cut it out entirely. After all, if you really miss it, you can always go back to it.
So, what will you selectively neglect today?
Here’s an email I got recently that I thought might speak to you:
Hello Dear Samantha,
I listened to the recording of the Procrastination tele-seminar last night, woke up this morning and walked straight to the bathroom to pee, but before I brushed my teeth or put clothes on or anything, I went to the cold downstairs and worked on my original music for 15 minutes and really got something good accomplished! (run-on sentence intended)
Here’s my question – I actually have not just original music, but also music for hire, taxes, and de-cluttering all weighing on me.
The idea of spending 15 minutes on each shuts me down. How do I choose what to do? How do I juggle these different boulders? The music for hire is what I need to LIVE off of so I can do my original music, and I haven’t done it since June, when I got the project. Now my head is spinning.
Do you have an idea?
I love your attitude and perspective,
Nedi
NEDIsings.com.
And here’s what I wrote back:
Hi Nedi –
Hooray! Hooray for you! Great work jumping into your original music – fuzzy teeth and all 🙂 Feels so good, doesn’t it?
I can think of a number of suggestions for you –
1) Just stick with working on your original music every day for a month or two until you reach a natural stopping point, then transition to another “daily” project.
2) Make a few lists of a bunch of different 15-minute tasks for each of your projects and each morning just pick one task that feels good (it’s crazy how much progress you can make with this technique).
3) Assign each project a day: Monday for original music, Tuesday for taxes, Wednesday can be a “free choice” day, then Thursday for music for hire, etc.
Experiment until you find a system that really works for you – remember, there’s no right way to succeed, there’s just YOUR way. You’ve got some great momentum going, so stick with it, OK? And don’t forget to reward yourself for doing such good work.
And please let me know how it goes.
Yours,
Sam.
The Get It Done Teleclass
(it’s like a big weekly conference call and it’s recorded so you can listen anytime) starts this Thursday, Jan. 27th and if you want to:
– finish your project
– use your deep creativity
– share and get support from a like-minded community and ME!
Then go here to learn more about The Get It Done Teleclass
: www.GetItDoneTeleclass.com/winter
By the way — The free Procrastination Is Genius In Disguise call was so much fun for me and the demand for this material has been so great that I’m offering it AGAIN on Wed. 1/26 at 9:45am (PT). You can register for the free call here: www.GetItDoneTeleclass.com – Tell your friends!
P.S. The Get It Done Teleclass comes with a money-back guarantee: if you don’t love it, I’ll cheerfully give you 100% of your money back, no questions asked. So if you’re thinking about it, go ahead and DO it! You know I’d love to work with you. Learn more here: www.GetItDoneTeleclass.com/winter xoxoxo SSB.
Quit second-guessing yourself already.
Your first idea is fine. Even if you think it’s kind of dumb. Probably even ESPECIALLY if you think it’s kind of dumb.
And if turns out that your first thought isn’t so hot after all, you’ll find out: FROM OTHER PEOPLE. That’s right – you don’t get to decide if it’s good based on some weird standard inside your head; you let the marketplace decide for themselves if it’s good for them.
And if it isn’t, you’ll fix it…because that’s just how you roll.
It’s so exciting at The Beginning, isn’t it?
You’re learning, you’re launching, you’re out there on the far edge of your experience and it’s a real thrill.
Then.
Then comes The Middle.
The Middle is where it gets kinda boring. It’s when the to-do list becomes an exercise in tedium. The End might have certain charms, but there’s very little that’s sexy about The Middle.
It’s like how Christmas shopping is for some people: way-super-fun picking out the lovely gifts for the people you adore, wrapping and shipping is an unbelievable drag but then witnessing the unwrapping of the gift is a blast.
So – how do you stay motivated through The Middle?
1) Remember your values. You began this process with the idea that your work will bring something important (more peace, greater enlightenment, better banana bread, thinner thighs…) to the world. Picture that effect rippling out in the world. Feel the joy. When you can’t get the train set suitably wrapped, it can be very invigorating to focus on the future: the delighted look on your little engineer’s face upon opening.
2) Delegate. Get help. Farm it out. Beg, borrow or trade. The work that is a giant drag for you might actually be sort of fun for someone else. Plus, that other person is not burdened by your story about your journey. (They aren’t thinking, “Oh, I should be done with this by now” or “This is probably a really dumb idea” or “Who cares about enlightenment anyway?” They are just doing the work.)
3) Pursue clarity. Put the to-do list down, turn off your phone and sit quietly for five minutes. No distractions. No music. Lock yourself in the bathroom to get away from the family if you have to, but find the place that is quiet inside of your head and hang out there. Deep breaths. Tell the monkey mind to zip it and call upon your more evolved, more loving, more spiritually evolved self. Put your hand on your belly and tune in to your Inner Wisdom, your Intuition, your Higher Self.
Listen closely to what that still, small voice has to say.
The Middle feels a little better now, huh?
Here’s Reason #5 in the “Why Procrastination Is Genius In Disguise” series:
Click HERE to get your audio recording of this series (it’s waaaaaaaaaay down at the bottom of the page): http://www.getitdoneteleclass.com/fall/
So far we’ve covered:
1) Procrastination is Genius because underneath the pain of it (the hunger pain), it reminds you of your true desire.
2) The nonstop nagging isn’t working (never does).
3) You haven’t moved forward yet because – for whatever reason – it just hasn’t been the right time. And maybe you’ve been a bit scared, which is OK, but we’re not going to let our fear make our decisions for us.
4) You need to get unstuck from the past, bless it correct, forgive yourself (easier said than done, I know) move on in the only way we can: from right here, right now.
Great, Sam – So How Do I Get It Done?
Now that you are feeling clear about your desire and unstuck from the past, it’s time to implement some strategies to move forward on your project.
First of all, let me remind you that there are no rules.
Life is not school. There are no rules, no grades and no way to screw this up. This is your life: you are the expert on you, and you’ll do what’s best and what’s right for you.
That being said, I’ve been doing this a long time, and I can tell you a few tips that could help you out. And you might want to try them, if only to help you figure out what doesn’t work for you.
1) Allot 15 Minutes Per Day To Your Project
If I had the power actually make you do stuff, this is the number one thing I would enforce. I strongly urge you to set aside 15 minutes per day for your project.
It’s amazing how much work you can get done in 15 minutes, and it’s amazing how much progress you can make if you put in 15 minutes a day, seven days a week.
Try it. You’ll see.
How you spend this 15 minutes is entirely up to you, of course. I might recommend that you make a list of possible 15 minute tasks:
- some easy actions, like daydreaming
- some fun action, like brainstorming titles
- some tedious actions, like database updating
- some actions requiring courage, like a phone call to an important person.
With a pre-made list like that at hand, you can select a 15-minute action for each day that suits your mood.
Finally, I strongly recommend that you allot these 15 minutes in the morning, before you check your email or go online at all. It takes an iron will to resist the siren call of the Internet, but it’s worth it.
Whatever’s out there can wait for you to put yourself first for just these few minutes.
Plunging into your day knowing that you’ve already made even a little bit of progress on the work that is dearest to your heart will improve your whole world.
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2) Find an Idea Catcher
You are a genius and you are having a lot of really good ideas every day.
But chances are, you’re not writing them down.
And the half-life of an unrecorded idea is…well, it’s pretty short. So find a system that works for you (I like index cards, but other people like notebooks, Blackberries, calling their own phone and leaving a message, Post-Its, etc.) and use it every day.
Then create a file, folder or envelope and label it “Genius” and at the end of each day, put your ideas in there. They will nest and grow and turn into something fabulous.
Paying attention to your creativity causes increased creativity.
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3) Allot 15 Minutes A Day For Some Very Dull “Exercise”
That’s right – I want you to do some simple, repetitive motion for 15 minutes per day, every day. But it’s not to get fit or to lose weight or to lower your blood pressure – it’s to enhance your creativity. So find some simple, repetitive exercise that you don’t hate (walking, running, swimming, calisthenics, dancing, jump rope; if your range of motion is impaired, you can knit, toss cards into a hat, chop vegetables, fold laundry, sort paper…even going for a drive is good) and find time for it every single day.
Any repetitive task tends to occupy the left (logical) brain just enough for the right (creative) brain to flower. That’s why you always have such great ideas while you are in the shower, or while you’re out walking the dog.
So I’d like us to cultivate the habit of repetitive tasks in order to give our creativity and intuition a daily opportunity to speak to us.
And I think it’s important to make the “every day” commitment in order to automate your decision-making and free yourself up from the internal debate that sounds like, “Should I walk today? I walked yesterday. But I might not walk tomorrow. Plus, it might rain. I’m sort of tired…blah blah blah” which is just mentally running around in circles and can be a serious drain on your energy.
Tell yourself you’re going to do it every day (and you don’t have to do it well – feel free to make a somewhat half-hearted effort) and then do it. No excuses.
And let me reiterate: this is NOT for your health. It is for your creativity and your creativity alone.
A body in motion puts the mind in motion.
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4) Enroll In The Get It Done Teleclass
I know a person is not really supposed to try and sell things on their blog, but I happen to know that this class really works for people, so my final suggestion is – and this will surprise exactly no one – sign yourself up for The Get It Done Workshop that starts THIS THURSDAY!
Get It Done is a 6-week project-based workshop designed to help you move forward on the projects that are important to you.
Your project can be anything:
- you want to finish your book
- you want to clean out the basement
- you want to find a new job
- you don’t know what you want
- you want to better market yourself & your business
- you want to commit to your artwork
- you have 37 projects and you can’t decide…
Whatever it is, this workshop – and it’s a weekly teleclass, just like a big conference call – will give you some structure and some accountability to Get It Done.
If you want to look at more info online, go to www.GetItDoneTeleclass.com/fall and there’s also some more information at http://sambennett.wpengine.com/workshops/get-it-done-workshop/
We meet for six Thursdays starting next Thursday Oct. 14 at this same time – 9:45am-11am Pacific Time – and the class costs $365.
$365 = A Dollar A Day For Your Project
And I would love to see you make that commitment to yourself.
Whether you spend a dollar a day on this workshop with me or on something else entirely, I want you to commit a dollar a day to moving forward on this work that you love and that you know will make a difference in your life.
I don’t offer any discounts, but if you want to pay me over time, that’s fine. You can pay me $36.50/month for the next ten months if you want. I don’t care. I just want you to do it if you want to do it. And if you try it and it’s not for you, then I’ll refund your money, no problem. Satisfaction guaranteed or your money cheerfully refunded. That’s my policy and I mean it.
Great. I want you to take a moment to breathe and to make whatever notes you’d like to about what you notice about what we’ve discussed so far, and then, if it feels right, think seriously about joining us for The Get It Done Teleclass (www.GetItDoneTeleclass.com/fall and there’s also some more information at http://sambennett.wpengine.com/workshops/get-it-done-workshop/)
Click HERE to get the free audio of this material plus LOTS more – your recording (it’s waaaaaaaaaay down at the bottom of the page): http://www.getitdoneteleclass.com/fall/
MORE TOMORROW….(tomorrow I’ll be sharing one of the craziest, wacka-doodle, creative, intuitive and FUN exercises I’ve ever invented! This will slay your procrastination dragon forever – YEE-HA!)
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“Your tele-seminar was awesome from start to finish — and you’ve motivated and encouraged me greatly just in this one session! THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!! Life has been very challenging, and you’ve given me practical, creative ways to fit working on my own dreams/goals into each day. I appreciate the time you gave us, sharing your expertise and gift of encouragement through your caring heart. I will put into practice what you’ve offered/shared… to realize that the world needs what I have to offer, because I’m the only one who can do what I do — that we’re all unique with unique gifts and ways of expressing those gifts. THANK YOU, SAMANTHA!!!!!!!!!”
– Sandra H., actress
“Thanks for offering such an insightful teleconference on procrastination. You really delivered lots of practical information, exercises and tips. The exercises are straightforward, easy to use and yield “can do” action steps. Very impressive! So many of these “free” calls are mostly fluff and advertising!
I appreciate the insight that the brains of creative people get overloaded and shut down because of too many variables and unknowns. That right there explains a lot!”
Elizabeth Hyland, M. Div.
Author of Surviving The Unemployment Roller Coaster: From Stress To Success
www.UnemploymentRollerCoaster.com
“I loved this morning’s call and I got a LOT from it that I’m sure I’ll use. I love your energy and the way you cut through resistance quickly in simple ways … so I’d love to work with you because I’m sure your ideas will be helpful.”
Virginia Ellenson
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We all have projects that we know would make an enormous difference in our lives.
Good projects.
Important projects.
World-changing projects.
And they’re just sitting there, staring at us.
The good news is that you’re still thinking about it, which means you have DESIRE.
So just for a minute, quit beating yourself up about how or what you should have done by now. (Can you? Just for a minute?) Now, let’s tap in to the energy that’s inside that desire.
Take a deep breath and really feel the sweet yearning for your Great Idea rising up from your belly. Allow the JOY of your Great Idea to fill your heart and spirit. Focusing only on the yummy-ness of it, let your Great Idea be reborn in your mind, fresh and new, without any judgment or recrimination.
Stay in that joyful feeling for just another moment, and see if a little, tiny action-item occurs to you. Is there a little idea that just floats into your head? A little beginning? If not, that’s OK – now might not be the right time – so just relish that Great Idea of yours and move on with your day.
But you might let the divine energy that is contained within your desire inspire you to take one, eensy-tiny only-15 minutes action around your Great Idea.
And let me know how it goes, OK?
