The Green-Eyed Monster

The Green-Eyed Monster

It isn’t the prettiest aspect of your personality, but there it is:  jealousy.

Ick. How very seventh-grade of you. But all of us, no matter how far beyond seventh grade we’ve gotten, feel jealous sometimes.

And here’s a news flash: jealousy is a gift.

Jealousy is your gut’s way of telling you that first of all, whatever it is, you want some. And moreover, you believe that you could have it. After all, you are never jealous of those who have things you don’t want.

Imagine that your best friend just added an amazing rare frog to her rare frog collection. Feel jealous? I didn’t think so.

If you have no interest in frog husbandry, you don’t feel jealous. Mystified, maybe, about why she might want to collect frogs to begin with (in much the same way your family might feel about you and your choice of a career in the arts), but in no way jealous.

Now, if that same friend suddenly lucked into an all-expenses paid six-month artist’s retreat in a villa in Provence, you might feel jealous. Because that, you want.

This is part one of the gift: the simple acknowledgment of desire.

I don’t know about you, but I sometimes pretend that I don’t want what I want. I pretend that things are okay with me when they aren’t. I pretend to be patient when I feel impatient. I pretend I don’t mind being passed over when, in fact, I mind very much.

Have you done that? Tried to quiet that “I want” voice? Hurts a bit, no?

The second half of the equation, and perhaps the more important half, is this: you believe you are capable of getting it. You are only ever jealous of things you believe you could do or have yourself.

What if your frog-loving best friend just swam the English Channel? Still not jealous, are you? Of course not, because not only do you not want to do that, but you also don’t think you have the ability.

But if that friend wins an award in something you think you could do, or reaches some milestone you aspire to, or obtains some neat thing that you’re pretty sure you could obtain if only the circumstances were right, then that green-eyed monster light is likely to start flashing.

Exercise : Harnessing the Power of Jealousy

Jealousy is a signal from within about desire and will. Add a little anger (also known by its polite name, frustration) and the recipe is complete.

Again, it’s not pretty, but it is an important message from your inner self — ignore it at your peril.

So the next time you find yourself trying to muzzle that nasty little voice of jealousy, take a moment and ask yourself:

1. Do I want that?

2. Why do I want that? What will getting that thing mean
to me?

3. Do I think I could have it?

4. What do I think is standing in the way of my obtaining that?

5. What fifteen-minute baby steps could I take today toward

See if making a little progress toward your own goals doesn’t turn that jealous-monster voice into a happy-cheering-look-at-me go voice.

Keep making those baby steps toward your goal, and I bet that someday soon someone might just be jealous of you.

2 of 7: It Just Hasn’t Been The Right Time

Here’s Reason #2 why Procrastination Is Genius In Disguise:

Go here to get the recording (it’s waaaaaaaaaay down at the bottom of the page):

We discussed in yesterday’s email about how Procrastination is your friend, because it is really just a REMINDER about your DESIRE.

After all this time, you are still thinking about it. It hasn’t fallen away like some things do.

That’s great! When your desire for a project stands the test of time, that’s great!

And here’s another way Procrastination Is Genius – and this is the Disguise part – once you get underneath all that blame and nagging, you have all the information you need to move forward.

The desire itself contains within it all the information about what your next move should be (more on this when we get to Reason #7).

We just have to quiet the mind a bit in order to hear the answer.

Here’s an example: Susan’s Unfinished Book

Susan wants to finish the book she started writing three years ago. When she began the project she wrote like wildfire, but then she started to falter. Then her daughter fell ill, so Susan dropped the project altogether to care for her over the next few months. Next thing you know, her daughter has fully recovered and Susan’s got 150 pages gathering dust.

Every day Susan berates herself for having put the project down.

Every day she re-runs old mental tapes about how she should have done things differently and how it’s probably too late now.

Every day she picks at herself, going back and forth about whether her book was ever even a good idea to begin with.

Self-Doubt Can Be Paralyzing

Here’s what I notice: all that self-doubt is paralyzing.

And unless Susan finds some peace around what’s already transpired with her book, she’s going to have a hard time moving forward.

So let’s pause our story here and focus on that for a moment. Let’s get beyond all the eye-rolling and recriminations and self-blame and see if we can’t get to the TRUTH of what’s been going on here.

Peaceful Thought: It Just Hasn’t Been The Right Time

What I know is true is this: You haven’t moved forward on your projects yet because it hasn’t been the right time.

Maybe it hasn’t been the right time because of life circumstance (like having a baby or a health issue or a money issue) or maybe it hasn’t been the right time because you haven’t been ready (you didn’t know enough, spiritual development, that mysterious “right moment” thing) or maybe you’ve needed to wait for some technology to be invented, or you’ve needed to wait for the right people or the right partner.

But whatever the reason: it just hasn’t been the right time.

And I know that for a fact because if it had been the right time, you would have done it.

So let that sink in and think about how that might be true for you: Up to now, it just hasn’t been the right time.

Even say it out loud to yourself: “Up to now, it just hasn’t been the right time.”

Maybe make some notes about what you notice about this concept in relationship to your own project.



And if you’d like help moving forward on your projects, consider the Get It Done Teleclass ( that starts next week. I’d love to have you there.