Here’s an example of the kind of letter I frequently receive from my clients:
I know what I need to do, I just can’t make myself do it. I watch endless YouTube videos, I play computer solitaire, I fool around on Facebook — I even scrub my kitchen floors — all just to avoid the work that I know is my destiny. I get so mad at myself. Am I chasing a shadow goal? What do I do? — Elizabeth
Here’s what I would say to Elizabeth, and to you, since chances are fairly high you are dealing with the same concerns:
Rest easy, honey — you are merely suffering from a biological imperative called “displacement activity.”
Displacement activity is what happens when an animal is in the grip of two conflicting instincts, and so it enacts a third, seemingly inappropriate behavior.
For example, you’ve probably seen a chimpanzee being challenged by another chimpanzee. When the first chimp doesn’t know whether to run away or fight, he might scratch his head. . .yawn. . . look away. . . start grooming himself.
Seems like a very passive response to aggression, but that chimp will do anything to deflect the energy, avoid making a decision, and otherwise make himself as invisible as possible.
When you have the instinct to create and you simultaneously have the instinct not to create, your fear says, “Don’t do it!” And so, confused by these two equally strong instincts, you shut down and get stuck playing an online word game for hours on end.Sometimes years.
It doesn’t mean you have low self-esteem, and it doesn’t mean your dream is impossible, and it certainly doesn’t mean you’re lazy.
So the next time this happens, just recognize the dynamic without yelling at yourself.
“Ah,” you might say instead, “I appear to be having the instinct to create something. And I also find myself feeling afraid of what will happen if I create that thing.
Perfectly natural.
But my fear does not get to make my decisions for me. So I will now set my kitchen timer for fifteen minutes and just play around with my creative idea in a light, fun, beta-testing sort of a way and then see what happens.”
ACTION STEP
Spend fifteen minutes right now playing around with your favorite project.
Some years ago I was suffering from some fairly extreme anxiety.
One of the ways the anxiety manifested was that I felt like I was being constantly graded.
During every meal I cooked, every parallel-parking job, every audition, every everything, I felt like someone, somewhere, was monitoring my every move and keeping track in a big notebook about how well or, more often, how poorly I was executing my life.
Exhausting.
So I decided that if I could not disabuse myself of the idea that I was being graded, then I would just try to get a C — which is the grade you get for showing up and doing the work.
Not doing the work better than everyone else, not doing extra-credit work — just showing up and doing the work.
I was quite pleased with this idea, and I shared it with my sister during one of our almost-daily phone conversations. She agreed that it sounded like a jim-dandy strategy and wished me luck with it.
Then we went on to discuss the real topic of our conversation that day: our father had moved into a new apartment and we wanted to send him a housewarming gift. I said I would take care of it.
A day or two later we were on the phone again and she asked me if I’d sent anything to Dad yet.
“Well, no,” I explained, “because I want to get him something nice but still within our budget, and I was thinking about something for his kitchen although he already has quite a bit of kitchen stuff so maybe there ’s a better idea if we do some sheets or maybe towels, maybe monogrammed, or —”
“Sam!” my sister interrupted. “Get a C — send a plant.”
Ah, the pure ring of truth!
Ten minutes later I had spent less than fifty bucks at an online flower delivery website for a handsome dieffenbachia plant, and the next day my father called both of us to say thank you and to tell us how lucky he felt to have such thoughtful daughters.
Here’s the point: my desire to find the perfect thing for my father was preventing me from finding anything for my father.
My willingness to take the budget-friendly, obvious option (a houseplant) allowed me to do what we really wanted to do to begin with, which was just let our dad know that we loved him and hoped he was happy in his new digs.
There are two more reasons you can afford to get a C.
One, your version of a C is probably everybody else ’s version of an A.
Two, if you get your work out there and then find that it needs to be made more perfect, well, then, you’ll improve it, right?
That’s how you roll.
How is your desire to do the perfect thing getting in the way of your doing anything?
The What If…Workshop: where imagination meets practicality. It’s only $147 and it starts next week 11/18/13 — check it out here (link funky? try pasting this into your browser: https://sambennett.infusionsoft.com/app/orderForms/What-IfWorkshop )
And I’m so excited about this new class that I wrote you a poem…
What If…
This last year was the year
for sure
where you were
getting organized
getting the book done
getting the clutter cleared
starting yoga – again –
and really connecting with your
Inner Voice.
Really figuring out what you really want.
Really asking for it.
Really getting it.
But it seems like every time you tried to
make a move
someone needed you
there was a crisis
the dog got sick and
the roof broke open and
he lost his job and
those tests at the hospital what a
long night that was and
the money just wasn’t there – again –
And then
and then
and then
the voices in your head got started:
Who Do You Think You Are, Anyway?
Everyone’s Already Doing That.
You’re Not Qualified.
The Technology Is Too Hard.
Plus
You Never Finish Anything Anyway.
And so you stand there with the crumpled remains of a year in your hands.
Your hands that ache
to write
to play
to draw
to dance
to work
to share
to shape
to cut
to color
to create.
Your heart cries out.
Your hands cry out.
Please don’t let it be too late.
Wait.
It’s not too late.
It’s never too late.
As long as you draw breath,
it cannot be too late.
Start now.
I mean RIGHT NOW.
Write one sentence right now.
Keep one promise to yourself right now.
Do something just for you right now.
Be undistractible.
See, that’s because I know I’ve been offering a lot of higher-end stuff this year, and it was important to me to close out this year with a no-brainer offer that anyone, at any level, could participate in and get GREAT BENEFIT from.
Let me know what you think about it, hm? After all, YOU all are my “market research” : ) and your feedback really matters to me.
Zone of Genius.
Being in Flow.
Work That Doesn’t Feel Like Work.
Creative people have a special talent for getting into the groove of a project and surfing the energy of it for hours and hours.
In this state of creative flow, there is no such thing as fear, procrastination, anxiety or self-doubt — there is only the joy of the work.
Wouldn’t it be great if you could make money from that same joyful place?
How much money would you like to be bringing in?
How much time would you like to spend each week on your art?
How many people do you think you could help if you were to create this life?
I know it’s possible, because I’ve done it.
And I’d like to help you do it.
Join The 94th Percentile
Only 6% of entrepreneurs ever make it to six-figures. (I’m one of them.)
Less than 10% of actors ever earn more than $10,000/year acting. (I’m one of them.)
Selling over 200 copies of a book of poetry makes it a “best-seller.” (I’ve done well over that.)
Less than 2% of completed manuscripts ever get a publishing contract. (I’ve done that.)
Now, these statistics are debatable, but even so, if you read them the wrong way you might come to believe that I am some kind of superwoman.
Not so.
I succeeded at those things because I had an idea and didn’t stop working until I made that idea a reality.
I succeeded because I was undistractible.
I succeeded because I didn’t know what I was doing was impossible.
Luckily, impossible things happen every day.
The truth I see is this:
The Odds Have Nothing To Do With Your Probability of Success
Odds are important when it comes to things that involve mathematical certainty – not creative success.
Once you are actually getting your work out into the world, the idea of “odds” becomes completely immaterial.
Conventional wisdom matters when you are doing conventional things.
Creativity and entrepreneurship are, by definition, the opposite of conventional.
Logic applies to things that obey the rules of logic.
Art and love and creative success is anything but logical.
So get those negative voices OUT of your head.
You CAN succeed doing what you love.
You CAN make money doing what you love.
You CAN create a life that is perfect for you.
Reinventing the Wheel
The problem is that no one ever taught you how to take control of your creative power and use it to help people & make money.
Some of you may have even been taught that making art was “selfish” and a sure-fire way to become a “starving artist.” I say: HOOEY.
There is plenty of money and success and joy in the world for those who want to go get it.
And I think you might be one of those people.
What If I Gave You My System and We Customized It For You?
What if we could spend the day together here in Southern California (somewhere around Los Angeles or Santa Barbara) and together we could make a plan for you to:
– bring in at least $1,500/month doing work you love
– have a marketing plan that feels like a party
– schedule your time so you get plenty of rest, meditation and exercise
I’m opening up a few spaces in my calendar for some select individuals to join me for a Big Wheel VIP Day.
We’ll meet in a swanky hotel room (my treat and of course you’ll stay the night : ) and talk, work, have lunch, work some more and by the middle of the afternoon, we’ll have created a fun, workable plan for you to execute over the next 3 months.
I’ll also give you monthly follow-up calls plus email support.
Does this sound interesting to you?
I urge you to fill out the no-obligation application HERE —
Even if you have no intention of ever doing this VIP day thing, the act of answering the quesions can be VERY ILLUMINATING. And I promise I won’t care if you fill it out and then never take another step. No worries.
Once my team gets your application, we’ll review it and if it seems like a good fit, we’ll invite you to have a 20-minute Big Wheel Evaluation Session with me.
MY PROMISE: I will not let you invest in this day with me unless I’m pretty confident we can create something at least as good as the plan I’ve outlined above. If I don’t think you’re ready, I won’t let you book it. Fair deal?
Willing to Take One Small Step?
I want you to fill out the no-obligation application HERE — and then, if you decide you’re really interested, we’ll talk about whether or not it’s the right move for you.
Thank you for reading.
And please leave a comment below to let me know how all this strikes you — I’m very interested in your reaction to this offer.
P.S. Here’s the reason I’m excited about offering the Big Wheel VIP Day experience:
I’m at my best when I can work intensively on one big project. Spending 4 hours with me all at once is better than a full year of monthly calls – I guarantee it.
I get more inspired, more intuitive and more genius-y when I get to spend the day focused on YOU.
So that’s why I’m offering this new format – because I think it will be more effective than anything else I’ve ever offered.
Here’s a great question I’ve gotten a bunch recently — it gets phrased different ways, like…
“What would a daily schedule look like for me as an independent artist?”- K.
“How to complete things and avoid being overwhelmed?” – J.
“Should you focus on one goal or several?” – Daddio
“Help! How to plan so I’m not just responding to the urgent?!” – C.
“Guidance on sticking with one project while so many new ideas call for action”- K.
Here’s my answer: I wonder if this is actually a problem for you.
Or to put it another way….
Here’s my other answer: What result are you seeking that you are currently not getting?
The thing is, creative people have a lot of weird ways of getting things done. Ways that look completely bananas to the outside world. It’s like we’re the rheumy-eyed uncles who drink and smoke and say rude things and somehow end up living healthy as a horse until the age of 102. We’re an anomaly.
Not knowing the details of your work or your habitual pitfalls, it’s hard for me to give you specific advice, so I’ll just pull back the curtain and let you in on what I do:
I don’t really keep a regular schedule. I work when I want to work, or when it’s needful for me to work, and I goof off the rest of the time. I spend an inordinate amount of time learning, reading, listening to audios, and a shocking amount of time just having conversations with people I find interesting. I’m not very good about setting time limits or about “balance” in my life — whatever that’s supposed to mean.
I often go through long weeks when, much to my frustration, it seems like nothing is happening. In those times I remind myself that every field must lay fallow.
At other times I’m scheduled up to my eyeballs and I’m an absolute whirling dervish of productivity.
I pretty much always DO do the following:no electronics on Sundays
no electronics in the bedroom
generally I’m done by 7pm and then I’m off all night
walk or swim every day
meditate every day
make a list each morning of the THREE things that MUST get done that day
keep a running list of the bajillion of other things that need doing
keep a “genius” folder for great ideas that I’m not ready to move forward on yet
I find that I work better when I have a few big projects going simultaneously. But “a few” meaning 3-5… not 12-30, you know?
Otherwise, I’ve learned to trust myself and to go with the flow. Some days I’m craz-zay-zee productive. Some days I go back to bed at 11am. Some days I write, some days I do the money stuff, some days I plan long-term, some days I putter and piddle the whole day away.
Now, I know a lot of very successful people who lead far more regimented lives than this, and I admire them.
And if you are NOT getting the results in your life that you want, well….you may want to try imposing some more structure on your day. BUT ONLY IF YOU KNOW YOURSELF TO BE THE KIND OF PERSON WHO RESPONDS WELL TO STRUCTURE. You know what I mean?
But make sure you do it in the way that works for YOU. So if you’re all energetic in the morning, schedule your hardest tasks for then. Eat your broccoli first, as it were.
And if you know that you only write well without interruptions, then for heaven’s sake, turn off your phone when you sit down to compose.
So my message is this: Put Down The Whip.
You don’t need to be better than you are.
You’re a strange bird, and you’re going to have to surf your schedule in whatever way seems right to you.
My guess is you probably don’t have to work any harder than you do already, but you may have to learn to work smarter. And that may mean saying “no” to people who are time-sucks, turning your back on household tasks and keeping your focus on your highest-income producing activities.
