Applause isn’t about you.
Applause is something the audience needs to express to in order complete their experience.
Applause is created by them (notice that you can’t really make them do it) and it is created for them. They may think they are applauding you, but really they are applauding to punctuate their own experience – which is great!
Sort of like when you take a bite of a cookie and say, “Yum.”
The “yum” is not for the cookie. The cookie doesn’t care.
The cookie has already done its job of being a fabulous cookie.
The “yum” is for you. The “yum” sets apart this bite from all other bites. It underlines your experience and helps you to understand this particular moment of your life.
So don’t feel shy about graciously accepting praise or applause – you’re doing your audience a favor by welcoming their engagement.
(And the really important part for you is not whether or not people liked or didn’t like what you did, it’s what they liked or didn’t like about it that is significant. The approval means very little. The specific feedback means everything.)
So go ahead and take your bow, because like I said…it’s not really about you.
Loneliness is a very serious illness that often goes unrecognized and undiagnosed. The consequences of a lonely heart include chronic sorrow, creative stultification and a lot of internal yelling at yourself.
Sometimes we feel lonely even though we’re in a group.
Sometimes we feel lonely right in the middle of feeling very happy.
Sometimes we get so used to feeling lonely that we wear it all the time like a heavy, dark cloak.
If your heart needs a friend, it’s time to do things differently.
Try these strategies – maybe even try one per day?
(Don’t roll your eyes – this is a serious situation and it’s time to try even the dumb things, OK?)
- Go to a local coffee shop and give someone there an honest compliment
- Take a class in something you know nothing about
- Call up an old pal (even if it’s been years and years) and find out how they are
- Practice seeing the eternal, undimmed beauty that abides in each and every person
- Make sure you get touched every single day, even if that means daily self-massage
- Go hang out in the dog park (whether you have a dog or not)
- Break your habits: take a different route to work, eat a different lunch, create a new outfit
What have you tried? What’s worked for you when you’ve been lonely?
P.S. If you’re a single woman seeking a true and loving partner, check out “Calling In The One” – this is a free teleclass with Katherine Woodward Thomas and Claire Zammit – register and you’ll get the recording for free, too: http://bit.ly/clTnGH (yes, I’m a Big Fan and an affiliate for them, but honestly, I’d recommend them even if I weren’t, because I have several friends for whom the Calling In The One process has really WORKED!) – SSB.
Here’s Reason #7 in the “Why Procrastination Is Genius In Disguise” series:
First: The Get It Done Teleclass Workshop Starts TODAY And It Is NOT TOO LATE to sign up! Click here to order: http://www.GetItDoneTeleclass.com/fall (and if you sign up and then don’t care for it, just let me know and I’ll refund your money right away, no questions asked.)
Also – if money is the only reason you’re not doing this, then call me right now at 818-468-0540 and we’ll work something out, OK? Good.
So far we’ve covered:
1) Procrastination is Genius because underneath the pain of it (the hunger pain), it reminds you of your true desire.
2) The nonstop nagging isn’t working (never does).
3) You haven’t moved forward yet because – for whatever reason – it just hasn’t been the right time. And maybe you’ve been a bit scared, which is OK, but we’re not going to let our fear make our decisions for us.
4) You need to get unstuck from the past, bless it correct, forgive yourself (easier said than done, I know) move on in the only way we can: from right here, right now.
5) Allotting some time and money each day to your project allows for incremental progress (baby steps!) and feels GREAT.
6) You can allow your intuition and your imagination to help you to create a new vision of your future. You have the weapons and the support to slay your Procrastination Dragons and rescue your Projects from the tower!
The Get It Done Workshop Starts TODAY And It Is NOT TOO LATE to sign up! Click here to order: http://www.GetItDoneTeleclass.com/fall (and if you sign up and don’t like it, just let me know and I’ll refund your money pronto presto, no questions asked.)
Also – if money is the only reason you’re not doing this, then call me right now at 818-468-0540 and we’ll work something out, OK? Good.
Now, let’s get you moving forward on your project TODAY.
“Could Do” Lists
First of all, get out a piece of paper and title it, “Could Do.”
This is because I think “To-Do” lists are dictatorial and they make me feel pressured and antsy and reluctant and even belligerent – like a high-schooler who’s being harassed to do her homework: pouty!
But “Could Do” puts me in a place of choice.
I could do the laundry, or I could walk around in nasty dirty clothes. I have a choice 🙂 Even if it’s something I know I must do, I feel more relaxed if I remember that I have the option to not do it.
Plus, we’re not trying to think of things that you WILL do for sure, we’re just brainstorming things that you COULD do. Maybe you will and maybe you won’t – we don’t know yet. We’ll have to see how you feel when we’re done.
(And sometimes writing down something that you would never, ever in a million years do can inspire some great idea that you’re really eager to do.)
1) Write down the name of someone who could really help you out on this project. Maybe it’s someone you know, or maybe it’s a hero who inspires you, or maybe it’s even someone from ancient history who might serve as an imaginary guide.
You might also want to make a note about how they might be of assistance. Could they give you advice? Introduce you to someone? Cheerlead? Proofread?
I have noticed that while people are fairly indifferent to generalized requests like, “I wish someone would help me…(sigh)” specific requests like, “Could you give me dialogue notes on Act One?” or, “Could you recommend a good watercolor instructor?” are usually responded to swiftly and in the affirmative.
2) Write down the name of someone who will NOT help you out on this project. It might be someone who will be helpful to you down the road (but not right now), or someone you know who is always a big ol’ Debbie Downer…but take a moment to think about the person with whom you will not discuss your project today.
Notice that it doesn’t mean that you don’t love them, admire them, value their opinion, whatever – it just means that as of today, you are going to consider the option of keeping this project out of their sticky, sticky hands.
3) Write down one simple, easy and affordable step you might take toward your project. This should be something that will take you less than 15 minutes and that you can very easily afford.
That’s right – I’m talking BABY STEP.
What is some tiny, incremental gesture you might make toward your project today?
- Something you could research?
- Some tool you could buy or borrow?
- Some small action you could take?
- Some doodle or outline you could sketch out?
- Some phone call or email you could easily execute?
Yep. That’s it.
That’s all there is to it. If you do this every morning (BEFORE you check your email!) you will make astounding progress and – bonus – you will feel GREAT.
Because as much as procrastination hurts your heart, moving forward – even just a little, tiny bit – feels absolutely wonderful.
Good luck!
And please, stay in touch with me and let me know how it all unfolds for you. I love hearing from you!
The Get It Done Teleclass Workshop Starts TODAY And It Is NOT TOO LATE to sign up! Click here to order: http://www.GetItDoneTeleclass.com/fall (and if you sign up and then don’t care for it, just let me know and I’ll refund your money right away, no questions asked. Guaranteed.)
Also – if money is the only reason you’re not doing this, then call me right now at 818-468-0540 and we’ll work something out, OK? Good.
______________________________________
“Your tele-seminar was awesome from start to finish — and you’ve motivated and encouraged me greatly just in this one session! THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!! Life has been very challenging, and you’ve given me practical, creative ways to fit working on my own dreams/goals into each day. I appreciate the time you gave us, sharing your expertise and gift of encouragement through your caring heart. I will put into practice what you’ve offered/shared… to realize that the world needs what I have to offer, because I’m the only one who can do what I do — that we’re all unique with unique gifts and ways of expressing those gifts. THANK YOU, SAMANTHA!!!!!!!!!”
– Sandra H., actress
“Thanks for offering such an insightful teleconference on procrastination. You really delivered lots of practical information, exercises and tips. The exercises are straightforward, easy to use and yield “can do” action steps. Very impressive! So many of these “free” calls are mostly fluff and advertising!
I appreciate the insight that the brains of creative people get overloaded and shut down because of too many variables and unknowns. That right there explains a lot!”
Elizabeth Hyland, M. Div.
Author of Surviving The Unemployment Roller Coaster: From Stress To Success
www.UnemploymentRollerCoaster.com
“I loved this morning’s call and I got a LOT from it that I’m sure I’ll use. I love your energy and the way you cut through resistance quickly in simple ways … so I’d love to work with you because I’m sure your ideas will be helpful.”
Virginia Ellenson
http://www.GetItDoneTeleclass.com/fall
Here’s Reason #6 in the “Why Procrastination Is Genius In Disguise” series:
Go HERE to get your recording of this information (it’s waaaaaaaaaay down at the bottom of the page): http://www.getitdoneteleclass.com/fall/
So far we’ve covered:
1) Procrastination is Genius because underneath the pain of it (the hunger pain), it reminds you of your true desire.
2) The nonstop nagging isn’t working (never does).
3) You haven’t moved forward yet because – for whatever reason – it just hasn’t been the right time. And maybe you’ve been a bit scared, which is OK, but we’re not going to let our fear make our decisions for us.
4) You need to get unstuck from the past, bless it correct, forgive yourself (easier said than done, I know) move on in the only way we can: from right here, right now.
5) Allotting some time and money each day to your project allows for incremental progress (baby steps!) and feels GREAT.
The Most Fun, Wackadoodle, Creative, Intuitive, Ingenious 5-Minute Breakthrough Exercise That The Get It Done Workshop Has Ever Invented (so far)
Now – the fun part!
This is a fairly new exercise, so I’d love to hear about your experience with it.
It is designed to help you access your intuition and your inner wisdom, and to help you think about both your project and your procrastination in a new way.
Once again: there are no rules. You can’t screw this exercise up. There is no “right” way to do it.
It’s also designed to be completed in less than 5 minutes.
So take a deep breath, get centered, and allow your imagination to play for a minute or two.
Work right off the top of your head. No pondering allowed.
Imagine A Piece Of Paper
Or, if you feel like drawing, grab yourself an actual sheet of paper.
Now, we’re going to create a little one-frame Fairy Tale about you and your project.
(And if you know anything about the power of myth in our lives, you know that this exercise is not quite as frivolous as it seems.)
The Princess
1) In one of the right-hand corners of the paper, draw an image, symbol or word that represents your project. This is the “princess locked in the tower.”
Again – don’t ponder – whatever idea rises to your mind first is the right one. If it turns out to be not-quite-right later on, you can always revise it. But for now, stick with your FIRST idea.
Maybe you’ve drawn a book cover, or maybe it’s a heart. Maybe it’s an actual princess wearing a nametag that says, “My Happiness.” Whatever you’ve drawn – hooray! Good start.
The Dragon
2) In front of the princess I want you to draw the dragon that stands in the way. This is the dragon of your procrastination.
Give the dragon a name and a shape. Maybe the dragon is a big ball of fire, or a brick wall. Maybe the dragon is a clock or a pile of clutter. Maybe it’s an actual dragon named, “Fear.”
Whatever occurs to you first is just perfect – just sketch it out quickly and don’t evaluate.
The Hero
3) Now in front of the dragon, in about the middle of the page or so, draw you. You are the hero of this story. Draw an image or word that represents you – don’t be afraid to have fun and be silly with this.
The Sword
4) Draw your weapon. This is the sword you will use to fight the dragon. So maybe it’s a sword named, “Good Taste” or it’s a light saber labled “TALENT.” Maybe it’s a smoke-screen or a bow and arrow or a pen or a camera or a flower. Allow yourself to imagine how this weapon is going to help you slay this dragon.
The Sidekick
5) Standing beside or behind you, draw your sidekick. Your sidekick is the person, organization or quality that you know you can count on, no matter what. Maybe it’s a friend or partner, or maybe it’s your sense of humor or your Inner Wisdom. Maybe it’s an angel or spiritual entity, or maybe it’s your MacBook. Just go with your first idea – one that makes you smile – and draw the image, word or shape that represents your trusty sidekick on this journey.
Your Loyal Fans
6) Excellent – almost done. Somewhere else on the page – wherever you like – I want you to draw an image or word that represents me and the participants of the Get It Done Teleclass. Whether you are enrolled in the class or not, I want you to know that we are with you, we are on your side and we have your back.
We believe in you. So if your faith in yourself ever falters, please borrow confidence from us – we know you can do it!
So you can draw us as another sidekick, or as an international army of artists marching over the hill to help you. Maybe we’re the stars in the sky shining down on you, or maybe we’re sound of applause. Whatever makes you feel supported, loved and cared for – draw that image or word.
Fabulous! You’re done! (The End.)
Make whatever finishing touches you like, and then take a moment to notice what this drawing has to teach you.
- What are you taking away from this exercise?
- What surprised you?
- Did anything strike you emotionally?
- Are you inspired to take any new action based on this drawing?
- Has there been any shift in your attitude about your project or your procrastination? If so, what?
Feel free to use this exercise anytime you want to get unstuck from some old thinking and show your imagination a good time 🙂
If you want to get the recording of this information, go to www.GetItDoneTeleclass.com/fall and there’s also some more information about the upcoming 6-week Get It Done Teleclass (we start TOMORROW!) at http://sambennett.wpengine.com/workshops/get-it-done-workshop/
Here’s Reason #5 in the “Why Procrastination Is Genius In Disguise” series:
Click HERE to get your audio recording of this series (it’s waaaaaaaaaay down at the bottom of the page): http://www.getitdoneteleclass.com/fall/
So far we’ve covered:
1) Procrastination is Genius because underneath the pain of it (the hunger pain), it reminds you of your true desire.
2) The nonstop nagging isn’t working (never does).
3) You haven’t moved forward yet because – for whatever reason – it just hasn’t been the right time. And maybe you’ve been a bit scared, which is OK, but we’re not going to let our fear make our decisions for us.
4) You need to get unstuck from the past, bless it correct, forgive yourself (easier said than done, I know) move on in the only way we can: from right here, right now.
Great, Sam – So How Do I Get It Done?
Now that you are feeling clear about your desire and unstuck from the past, it’s time to implement some strategies to move forward on your project.
First of all, let me remind you that there are no rules.
Life is not school. There are no rules, no grades and no way to screw this up. This is your life: you are the expert on you, and you’ll do what’s best and what’s right for you.
That being said, I’ve been doing this a long time, and I can tell you a few tips that could help you out. And you might want to try them, if only to help you figure out what doesn’t work for you.
1) Allot 15 Minutes Per Day To Your Project
If I had the power actually make you do stuff, this is the number one thing I would enforce. I strongly urge you to set aside 15 minutes per day for your project.
It’s amazing how much work you can get done in 15 minutes, and it’s amazing how much progress you can make if you put in 15 minutes a day, seven days a week.
Try it. You’ll see.
How you spend this 15 minutes is entirely up to you, of course. I might recommend that you make a list of possible 15 minute tasks:
- some easy actions, like daydreaming
- some fun action, like brainstorming titles
- some tedious actions, like database updating
- some actions requiring courage, like a phone call to an important person.
With a pre-made list like that at hand, you can select a 15-minute action for each day that suits your mood.
Finally, I strongly recommend that you allot these 15 minutes in the morning, before you check your email or go online at all. It takes an iron will to resist the siren call of the Internet, but it’s worth it.
Whatever’s out there can wait for you to put yourself first for just these few minutes.
Plunging into your day knowing that you’ve already made even a little bit of progress on the work that is dearest to your heart will improve your whole world.
2) Find an Idea Catcher
You are a genius and you are having a lot of really good ideas every day.
But chances are, you’re not writing them down.
And the half-life of an unrecorded idea is…well, it’s pretty short. So find a system that works for you (I like index cards, but other people like notebooks, Blackberries, calling their own phone and leaving a message, Post-Its, etc.) and use it every day.
Then create a file, folder or envelope and label it “Genius” and at the end of each day, put your ideas in there. They will nest and grow and turn into something fabulous.
Paying attention to your creativity causes increased creativity.
3) Allot 15 Minutes A Day For Some Very Dull “Exercise”
That’s right – I want you to do some simple, repetitive motion for 15 minutes per day, every day. But it’s not to get fit or to lose weight or to lower your blood pressure – it’s to enhance your creativity. So find some simple, repetitive exercise that you don’t hate (walking, running, swimming, calisthenics, dancing, jump rope; if your range of motion is impaired, you can knit, toss cards into a hat, chop vegetables, fold laundry, sort paper…even going for a drive is good) and find time for it every single day.
Any repetitive task tends to occupy the left (logical) brain just enough for the right (creative) brain to flower. That’s why you always have such great ideas while you are in the shower, or while you’re out walking the dog.
So I’d like us to cultivate the habit of repetitive tasks in order to give our creativity and intuition a daily opportunity to speak to us.
And I think it’s important to make the “every day” commitment in order to automate your decision-making and free yourself up from the internal debate that sounds like, “Should I walk today? I walked yesterday. But I might not walk tomorrow. Plus, it might rain. I’m sort of tired…blah blah blah” which is just mentally running around in circles and can be a serious drain on your energy.
Tell yourself you’re going to do it every day (and you don’t have to do it well – feel free to make a somewhat half-hearted effort) and then do it. No excuses.
And let me reiterate: this is NOT for your health. It is for your creativity and your creativity alone.
A body in motion puts the mind in motion.
4) Enroll In The Get It Done Teleclass
I know a person is not really supposed to try and sell things on their blog, but I happen to know that this class really works for people, so my final suggestion is – and this will surprise exactly no one – sign yourself up for The Get It Done Workshop that starts THIS THURSDAY!
Get It Done is a 6-week project-based workshop designed to help you move forward on the projects that are important to you.
Your project can be anything:
- you want to finish your book
- you want to clean out the basement
- you want to find a new job
- you don’t know what you want
- you want to better market yourself & your business
- you want to commit to your artwork
- you have 37 projects and you can’t decide…
Whatever it is, this workshop – and it’s a weekly teleclass, just like a big conference call – will give you some structure and some accountability to Get It Done.
If you want to look at more info online, go to www.GetItDoneTeleclass.com/fall and there’s also some more information at http://sambennett.wpengine.com/workshops/get-it-done-workshop/
We meet for six Thursdays starting next Thursday Oct. 14 at this same time – 9:45am-11am Pacific Time – and the class costs $365.
$365 = A Dollar A Day For Your Project
And I would love to see you make that commitment to yourself.
Whether you spend a dollar a day on this workshop with me or on something else entirely, I want you to commit a dollar a day to moving forward on this work that you love and that you know will make a difference in your life.
I don’t offer any discounts, but if you want to pay me over time, that’s fine. You can pay me $36.50/month for the next ten months if you want. I don’t care. I just want you to do it if you want to do it. And if you try it and it’s not for you, then I’ll refund your money, no problem. Satisfaction guaranteed or your money cheerfully refunded. That’s my policy and I mean it.
Great. I want you to take a moment to breathe and to make whatever notes you’d like to about what you notice about what we’ve discussed so far, and then, if it feels right, think seriously about joining us for The Get It Done Teleclass (www.GetItDoneTeleclass.com/fall and there’s also some more information at http://sambennett.wpengine.com/workshops/get-it-done-workshop/)
Click HERE to get the free audio of this material plus LOTS more – your recording (it’s waaaaaaaaaay down at the bottom of the page): http://www.getitdoneteleclass.com/fall/
MORE TOMORROW….(tomorrow I’ll be sharing one of the craziest, wacka-doodle, creative, intuitive and FUN exercises I’ve ever invented! This will slay your procrastination dragon forever – YEE-HA!)
______________________________________
“Your tele-seminar was awesome from start to finish — and you’ve motivated and encouraged me greatly just in this one session! THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!! Life has been very challenging, and you’ve given me practical, creative ways to fit working on my own dreams/goals into each day. I appreciate the time you gave us, sharing your expertise and gift of encouragement through your caring heart. I will put into practice what you’ve offered/shared… to realize that the world needs what I have to offer, because I’m the only one who can do what I do — that we’re all unique with unique gifts and ways of expressing those gifts. THANK YOU, SAMANTHA!!!!!!!!!”
– Sandra H., actress
“Thanks for offering such an insightful teleconference on procrastination. You really delivered lots of practical information, exercises and tips. The exercises are straightforward, easy to use and yield “can do” action steps. Very impressive! So many of these “free” calls are mostly fluff and advertising!
I appreciate the insight that the brains of creative people get overloaded and shut down because of too many variables and unknowns. That right there explains a lot!”
Elizabeth Hyland, M. Div.
Author of Surviving The Unemployment Roller Coaster: From Stress To Success
www.UnemploymentRollerCoaster.com
“I loved this morning’s call and I got a LOT from it that I’m sure I’ll use. I love your energy and the way you cut through resistance quickly in simple ways … so I’d love to work with you because I’m sure your ideas will be helpful.”
Virginia Ellenson
_________________________________________________________
Here’s reason #3 why Procrastination Is Genius In Disguise:
Go here to get the recording of all this (it’s waaaaaaaaaay down at the bottom of the page): http://www.getitdoneteleclass.com/fall/
Well, Of Course You’re Scared!
Maybe you haven’t moved forward on your projects because you are a little bit scared. Or a lot scared.
And that’s OK.
My goodness – of course you’re scared. Hundreds and hundreds of you were so great and forthcoming about the projects you’ve been procrastinating – and so many of you were so funny! I love that!
Here’s a sample:
* finishing your book
* personal financials
* getting certification or a degree
* cleaning out your house/clutter clearing
* working on your art
* your jewelry design
* your blogging
* your music
* taxes
* writing a script
* living highest purpose
* getting a new job/career change
* your sculpture
* your body – exercise & health issues
* staying in touch with friends
* growing your business
* true happiness
* book proposal
* EVERYTHING
This is some big, life-changing stuff, and it’s no surprise that it sets off the panic button and makes us want run and hide like a little kid.
Here’s one strategy for diffusing the fear that I use in the Get It Done Teleclass which starts next week. (More info about Get It Done here: Check it out here: http://www.GetItDoneTeleclass.com/fall)
Teaching Our Shadows Grace
I borrowed the phrase “Teaching Our Shadows Grace” (from Zoe Moon Astrology) because I think it is a very beautiful way to express our capacity to just be with our fears without panicking.
I love to imagine just laying in bed next to my frightening thoughts – not holding hands, just laying on our backs, side by side, willing to be in each other’s presence without running away.
Let me explain a little bit:
There is a common phrase in the self-help world that says, “What you can’t be with, runs you.” Also sometimes expressed as, “What you resist, persists.”
In other words, if you are afraid of being rude – if you can’t even handle the idea that you might be rude sometimes – then the fear of rudeness will be making all of your decisions for you.
Put in slightly more concrete terms, if you are terrified of spiders, then your whole life will be spent avoiding places that you think might contain spiders. But if you have the ability to just BE WITH spiders (even if you don’t like them) then you can go anywhere.
Write down one sentence that someone could say about your work that would really hurt your feelings:
_______________________________________________________________
Let’s say you wrote down something like, “People might think my work is boring.”
Now say that sentence aloud, peacefully and calmly, altering it slightly each time. Let each sentence circulate through your body – imagine it running through your veins. Breathe.
“People might think my work is boring.”
Breathe. Just let that idea be.
“My work is boring.”
Breathe. You don’t have to agree with this idea, you just have to let it be.
“My work is boring sometimes.”
Breathe. Is it true? Of course it is. Everyone’s work is boring sometimes. Can you just be with that idea without fighting it? Can you think of an example of when it has been true?
“Some people think my work is boring.”
Breathe. Is it true? Yes. Is that OK? Of course. No one can be interesting to everyone all the time – that would be ridiculous.
“Sometimes I think my work is boring.”
Breathe. Is that true? I bet it is.
“Sometimes I think other people’s work is boring.”
Breathe. Feel where this is true for you.
“My work is boring sometimes.”
Breathe.
“My work is not boring sometimes.”
Breathe. Also true, right?
Keep going until you have examined the thought from all angles and the fear is completely diffused.
Keep asking yourself:
* Can you see/feel that it is the truth that sometimes you are that way?
* Can you find a specific example of when it has been true?
* Can you peacefully accept that?
Repeat this process with each fear that occurs to you, attempting only to feel some grace around each one.
Having the ability to gracefully sit with a self-concept that frightens you allows you to develop the ability to (psychically, creatively, spiritually, interpersonally…) go anywhere.
It’s OK to be afraid. But fear does not get to make our decisions for us.
If you like, go ahead and say this out loud: It’s OK to be afraid, but my fear does not get to make my decisions for me.
P.S. This exercise is derived from The Work of the amazing and brilliant Byron Katie (www.TheWork.com) – ssb.
MORE TOMORROW….
And if you’d like help moving forward on your projects, consider the Get It Done Teleclass that starts next week. I’d love to have you there.
