Even the Stars Fall

Even the Stars Fall

Here’s a short reflection on life’s ups and downs written during a bit of a low point this past fall. I find it oddly comforting.

Even the stars fall.

Ascension is not better.

Descending is not worse.

Depth is good.

And the ride down is a breeze

As soon as you stop telling yourself that it’s not.

The ride up can be breezy, too

As soon as you drop the story about

The ladder and the struggle.

In fact, maybe it’s you who is

Standing still

with the Universe orbiting your perfect self.

Dwell in Discomfort

You’ve asked me the same questions over and over and over again.

And mostly they have to do with discomfort.

  • “I’m not sure my work is good enough.”
  • “I’m an introvert so I never go to events or conferences.”
  • “I clam up when it’s time to state my prices.”
  • “I feel like everyone’s going to know that I’m a fraud.”
  • “I’m totally tech-phobic.”

And you let these persistent thoughts keep you stuck in the dim grey of not-doing.

And the world spins on.

You don’t start your business.
You don’t write your book.
You don’t make enough money.
You don’t make friends with powerful people.
You don’t fulfill your creative promise.

And the world spins on.

Waiting for your work.
Waiting for you to be bold.
Waiting for you to share your heart with us.

It’s like we’re in some odd stand-off: the world is waiting for your art, and you are waiting to feel comfortable.

This is totally backwards.

You will never feel comfortable BEFORE you take a risk.

You only feel comfortable afterwards.

(And, to be frank, sometimes not even then.)

So you dwell in a twilight of discomfort.

No crashing failures.
No exhilarating leaps of faith.

Just the slow drip of
“I’m not ready,”
“I’m not sure,” and
“Now’s not a good time.”

And the world spins on.

But honey – now is the ONLY time there is.

All of us – we only have today.

Tomorrow is promised to no one.

So please –

Grab your discomfort by the nape of the neck and drag it along with your art into the clear light of day.

And I promise – if you smile while you do it, we will be so dazzled by your bravery that we won’t notice if you wobble a bit.

Smiling and wobbling our way into the future, together we can make this world a better place.

Sam.

When is it too Late?

That person who expressed interest in your work, but you never followed up with them…and now you think that too much time has passed, so you don’t reach out to them.

The friend who was having a tough time, and you wanted to call or write, but you got busy and now it feels weird.

The thank you note you didn’t send.

The invitation you never made.

The opportunity that passed you by.

It’s a TERRIBLE feeling, isn’t it?

Guess what?

It feels terrible because it’s FALSE.

It’s not too late.

It’s never too late.

As long as you have breath in your body, it is never, ever, ever too late.

If you are still thinking about it, then the possiblity is still alive.
The fact that it is still on your mind means that it is NOT TOO LATE.

But there is a challenge here:

You are going to have to change.

You are going to have to sacrifice

– your perfectionism
– your embarrassment
– your discomfort
– your misplaced pride
– your big idea that you know how long something is supposed to take

and GIVE IN to the DESIRE you have to take action.

It’s time to put on your Big Girl Panties.

And I know — you think about reaching out to that person, or pursuing that opportunity, and you cringe.

It feels scary.

But trust me: you would not still be thinking about it if it weren’t the right thing.

And who knows? Maybe NOW is an even better time than before!

Maybe now is the perfect time.

So here….to make it easier for you, I’ll give you a little script to use:

“Hello X,

I find myself still thinking about you and XYZ today, so I wanted to follow my intuition and reach out.

If it feels right, I’d love to connect. Are you available to talk on DAY at SPECIFIC TIME or OTHER DAY, OTHER TIME?

If not, no worries – but I’d be remiss if I didn’t even ask.

I hope this finds you well.

Yours,
Me”

Take a chance.
Turn that regret into action.
Open yourself up to some new information.

Let me know how it goes, OK?

Yours,
Sam.

Throwing Pebbles at Dinosaurs: Explaining Atypical Depression

Throwing Pebbles at Dinosaurs: Explaining Atypical Depression

I wrote a longish post on Facebook last night that’s gotten waaaay more likes, comments and shares than anything else I’ve ever written.

Apparently, I hit a nerve.

So I thought I’d share it with you all, too.

NOTE: there is strong language in this.

 


As you know, depression is a black-hearted fuckshop of a disease – insidious and all-enveloping. After being mostly symptom-free for the past year or so, the last few weeks have been kind of a nightmare. It was a bit shocking to me how swiftly I hit bottom.And because I have “atypical depression” – which despite its name is actually quite common – I can function well in public situations. Atypical depression is not the “can’t get out of bed and crying all day” kind of depression. It’s the “inside a glass box” kind – it looks like everything’s pretty normal, but on the inside you feel utterly alone and completely dissociated. It turns the whole world into a horror show.

I hung in there, though: fought it when I could fight, and laid down quietly when I could fight no more. I prayed, I walked, I did all the stupid things people suggest you do when you’re depressed (take a walk, do something nice for someone else, get a massage, make some art…) all of which are like throwing pebbles at a dinosaur.

Finally – yesterday – the cloud lifted and so far I’ve had 24 hours of non-stop joy.

Here’s what joy looks like: I can taste food. I can breathe. I can feel actual gratitude for my actual life. Nothing fancy. Just the amazing sensation of experiencing energy and desire and being able to think actual thoughts rather than just drown in a sea of self-loathing all day.

Normally I would keep this kind of thing quiet, because it’s private, and in many ways, it’s none of anyone’s fucking business. But I realize that because of what I do and the books I write, people sometimes think that I never have a bad day. Which would be hilarious if it weren’t so tragic.

So, to everyone who is forced to make the choice, every day, to stay on this grassy, ocean-y planet no matter how much it hurts, I salute you. I wish you forgiving friends, loving partners and soft landings. I bless your beautiful sensitivity, your aching heart and the spiritual mastery that you are demonstrating every time you don’t just give the fuck up.

I don’t have any advice, because advice is bullshit. But I will remind you of this: the tragedy of depression is that it convinces you that you will never, ever, ever, ever, ever feel better. And that is a giant fucking lie. You will feel better. Maybe only 1′ better, but still – better. And you matter. You matter to me.

Thank you for listening. I love you.

Mermaid Money

Mermaid Money

I always have a few small pieces of sea glass in my wallet: it’s my “mermaid money.”

Because, you know — mermaids don’t take cash.

Every time I look in my wallet I am reminded of the true treasures in the world: the beauty that’s all around us, the ability to create whimsy and magic, and the ephemeral nature of life.

What do you use to keep your eyes on the big picture?

Do you feel whimsy and beauty and magic around your ability to create cash?

Stress is what happens when we lose track of the big picture.

What do you think about this email exchange I had a while back?

“Hi Sam; 

While I applaud your efforts with this event and wholeheartedly agree with your philosophy, the bottom line is that you are a motivational speaker and people feed off of your energy because that is something that they cannot provide for themselves.   It’s not about the book or the event, it’s about your personality and charisma…The problem is, once the book is read and the event attended we are usually back to square one… 

Anyway, I wish you success in your efforts and I will continue to watch your webinars, you are really quite therapeutic but unless you are going to move in with me and give me a kick in the pants 24/7, this stuff usually doesn’t work.   

– B.” 

 

Here’s what I wrote back:

“Hi B. – 

I think that what you are saying is exactly true — but only for about 80% of my audience. 

That 80% attend a free training, they get excited…..and then they go right back to their same old patterns and nothing changes. 

As near as I can tell, that 80% number is true for all personal development stuff from gym memberships to preachers to diet plans to financial strategies to everything else on the planet. Shoot – most of us wear only 20% of our wardrobe most of the time; the other 80% goes unworn. (It’s the Pareto Principle.) 

And I think that’s fine. 

If 80% of my people are going to use me as a source of temporary inspiration and entertainment, well, then — what’s wrong with that? 

The remaining 20%, though….they actually DO IT. 

They take the strategies and ideas I teach and they run with it and they change. 

They double their income. 
They get out of destructive relationships. 
They publish their book. 
They get their “dream” business up and running. 
 
My experience is that when people are — well, I was going to write “ready” to change, but I mean more than that — when change becomes MANDATORY for them — they find the teacher who’s right for them and they change. 

So, B., if you suspect that you’ve reached the “mandatory” stage…or even if you’d just like a temporary shot of inspiration, I’d love to invite you to join us. 
 
Thanks so much for taking the time to write. 

Yours, 
Sam.”
 
 
Here’s my question for you —
 
Are you ready to be part of the 20%?
 
Are you hungry to see RESULTS?
 
Look, in the past 11 days I have: 
 
– Handed in my 2nd draft of my new book to my publisher – whoot! whoot! 

– Bought a new car because it was time to retire my wonderful 2000 Honda Accord with 184,000 miles on it. 

– Spent 2 mind-melting-in-a-good-way days at a Byron Katie Workshop in Ojai 

– Screwed up my courage to introduce myself to Stephen Mitchell (Katie’s husband) who is one of my literary heroes — I felt really shy, but I HAD to tell him how much his work has meant to me over the years and I knew I couldn’t keep encouraging you all to push past your perceived limitations if I wasn’t willing to do the same.

– Had a long, wonderful talk over an excellent bottle of wine with one of my oldest friends, who also happens to be a big TV star (and I got ALL the good Hollywood gossip….) 

– Started a new paint-by-numbers. Don’t laugh. Paint by numbers is cool. 

– Paid about a gabilion dollars in taxes — which was great because that means business is good and getting better all the time and plus I had salted the money away over the course of the year, so I could pay in full. My tax dude is very proud of me. 

– Taught 7 classes — 6 online, 1 in person — to a total of over 1500 brilliant creative students. You can check out the open Q&A call I did here if you want a sample:http://iTeleseminar.com/83976132 

– Drove into LA to drop-in on my favorite improv class taught by the great Dave Razowsky– I don’t want to let my acting skills get rusty just because I moved to the beach, right? 

– Had 2 fun date nights with my sweetheart plus a few lovely beach walks. 

– Made a lovely potato-leek soup from scratch from my old Julia Child cookbook – yum. 
– Attended an Infusionsoft training webinar taught by my old pal Jordan Hatch so I can stay up on all the latest marketing technology. 

– Plus had a crown replaced (ugh) got my iPhone fixed (also ugh) had two short, effective Team Meetings with my fabulous crew and finished two novels. 

And I gotta say — it’s not like this past 11 days is all that different from the rest of my calendar. 

But if you had told me 10 years ago that my life would look like this, I would have said, “IMPOSSIBLE.” I was broke, suffering from severe depression and while my creative life was OK, my financial life and my spiritual well-being were in serious jeopardy. 

I couldn’t see how my life could ever change. 

But I was willing to give it a try. So I got a coach, committed to a program and started down the path to here. 

I invested, and I dug myself out of that hole and got out of my own way. And I can help you get out of your own way, too. 

I created the principles, tactics and strategies in The Get It Done Workshop so that I could lead this creatively fulfilled, financially sustainable, spiritually enriched and FUN life.