Maybe you haven’t moved forward on your projects because you are a little bit scared. Or a lot scared.
And that’s OK.
My goodness – of course you’re scared. Hundreds and hundreds of you were so great and forthcoming about the projects you’ve been procrastinating – and so many of you were so funny! I love that!
Here’s a sample:
* finishing your book
* personal financials
* getting certification or a degree
* cleaning out your house/clutter clearing
* working on your art
* your jewelry design
* your blogging
* your music
* taxes
* writing a script
* living highest purpose
* getting a new job/career change
* your sculpture
* your body – exercise & health issues
* staying in touch with friends
* growing your business
* true happiness
* book proposal
* EVERYTHING
This is some big, life-changing stuff, and it’s no surprise that it sets off the panic button and makes us want run and hide like a little kid.
Here’s one strategy for diffusing the fear that I use in the Get It Done Teleclass which starts next week. (More info about Get It Done here: Check it out here: http://www.GetItDoneTeleclass.com/fall)
Teaching Our Shadows Grace
I borrowed the phrase “Teaching Our Shadows Grace” (from Zoe Moon Astrology) because I think it is a very beautiful way to express our capacity to just be with our fears without panicking.
I love to imagine just laying in bed next to my frightening thoughts – not holding hands, just laying on our backs, side by side, willing to be in each other’s presence without running away.
Let me explain a little bit:
There is a common phrase in the self-help world that says, “What you can’t be with, runs you.” Also sometimes expressed as, “What you resist, persists.”
In other words, if you are afraid of being rude – if you can’t even handle the idea that you might be rude sometimes – then the fear of rudeness will be making all of your decisions for you.
Put in slightly more concrete terms, if you are terrified of spiders, then your whole life will be spent avoiding places that you think might contain spiders. But if you have the ability to just BE WITH spiders (even if you don’t like them) then you can go anywhere.
Write down one sentence that someone could say about your work that would really hurt your feelings:
Let’s say you wrote down something like, “People might think my work is boring.”
Now say that sentence aloud, peacefully and calmly, altering it slightly each time. Let each sentence circulate through your body – imagine it running through your veins. Breathe.
“People might think my work is boring.”
Breathe. Just let that idea be.
“My work is boring.”
Breathe. You don’t have to agree with this idea, you just have to let it be.
“My work is boring sometimes.”
Breathe. Is it true? Of course it is. Everyone’s work is boring sometimes. Can you just be with that idea without fighting it? Can you think of an example of when it has been true?
“Some people think my work is boring.”
Breathe. Is it true? Yes. Is that OK? Of course. No one can be interesting to everyone all the time – that would be ridiculous.
“Sometimes I think my work is boring.”
Breathe. Is that true? I bet it is.
“Sometimes I think other people’s work is boring.”
Breathe. Feel where this is true for you.
“My work is boring sometimes.”
Breathe.
“My work is not boring sometimes.”
Breathe. Also true, right?
Keep going until you have examined the thought from all angles and the fear is completely diffused.
Keep asking yourself:
* Can you see/feel that it is the truth that sometimes you are that way?
* Can you find a specific example of when it has been true?
* Can you peacefully accept that?
Repeat this process with each fear that occurs to you, attempting only to feel some grace around each one.
Having the ability to gracefully sit with a self-concept that frightens you allows you to develop the ability to (psychically, creatively, spiritually, interpersonally…) go anywhere.
It’s OK to be afraid. But fear does not get to make our decisions for us.
If you like, go ahead and say this out loud: It’s OK to be afraid, but my fear does not get to make my decisions for me.
P.S. This exercise is derived from The Work of the amazing and brilliant Byron Katie (www.TheWork.com) – ssb.
MORE TOMORROW….
And if you’d like help moving forward on your projects, consider the Get It Done Teleclass that starts next week. I’d love to have you there.
Here’s Reason #2 why Procrastination Is Genius In Disguise:
Go here to get the recording (it’s waaaaaaaaaay down at the bottom of the page): http://www.getitdoneteleclass.com/fall/
We discussed in yesterday’s email about how Procrastination is your friend, because it is really just a REMINDER about your DESIRE.
After all this time, you are still thinking about it. It hasn’t fallen away like some things do.
That’s great! When your desire for a project stands the test of time, that’s great!
And here’s another way Procrastination Is Genius – and this is the Disguise part – once you get underneath all that blame and nagging, you have all the information you need to move forward.
The desire itself contains within it all the information about what your next move should be (more on this when we get to Reason #7).
We just have to quiet the mind a bit in order to hear the answer.
Here’s an example: Susan’s Unfinished Book
Susan wants to finish the book she started writing three years ago. When she began the project she wrote like wildfire, but then she started to falter. Then her daughter fell ill, so Susan dropped the project altogether to care for her over the next few months. Next thing you know, her daughter has fully recovered and Susan’s got 150 pages gathering dust.
Every day Susan berates herself for having put the project down.
Every day she re-runs old mental tapes about how she should have done things differently and how it’s probably too late now.
Every day she picks at herself, going back and forth about whether her book was ever even a good idea to begin with.
Self-Doubt Can Be Paralyzing
Here’s what I notice: all that self-doubt is paralyzing.
And unless Susan finds some peace around what’s already transpired with her book, she’s going to have a hard time moving forward.
So let’s pause our story here and focus on that for a moment. Let’s get beyond all the eye-rolling and recriminations and self-blame and see if we can’t get to the TRUTH of what’s been going on here.
Peaceful Thought: It Just Hasn’t Been The Right Time
What I know is true is this: You haven’t moved forward on your projects yet because it hasn’t been the right time.
Maybe it hasn’t been the right time because of life circumstance (like having a baby or a health issue or a money issue) or maybe it hasn’t been the right time because you haven’t been ready (you didn’t know enough, spiritual development, that mysterious “right moment” thing) or maybe you’ve needed to wait for some technology to be invented, or you’ve needed to wait for the right people or the right partner.
But whatever the reason: it just hasn’t been the right time.
And I know that for a fact because if it had been the right time, you would have done it.
So let that sink in and think about how that might be true for you: Up to now, it just hasn’t been the right time.
Even say it out loud to yourself: “Up to now, it just hasn’t been the right time.”
Maybe make some notes about what you notice about this concept in relationship to your own project.
Good.
MORE TOMORROW….
And if you’d like help moving forward on your projects, consider the Get It Done Teleclass (www.GetItDoneTeleclass.com/fall) that starts next week. I’d love to have you there.
Here’s reason #1 why Procrastination Is Genius In Disguise:
Procrastination is genius because it hurts.
Procrastination causes you pain.
It would be one thing if you could put stuff off and then just la-di-da around all carefree and happy. But you don’t – you put it off and it hurts and it’s a weight on your mind and on your heart.
Why is that genius?
Because the pain procrastination causes serves to REMIND you that your projects are important to you.
Procrastination is your friend, tapping you on the shoulder and saying, “Hey, remember how much you care about this?”
And really, it’s not just tapping – it’s nagging. Loudly.
Newsflash: nagging doesn’t work. It doesn’t work with your spouse, it doesn’t work with your kids and even YOU can’t nag you into doing the projects that really matter to you. So if you catch yourself nagging a lot, you might want to try another strategy.
So here’s my little quiz:
I want you to think about one particular project you are procrastinating – you might have lots, but let’s just pick one – whichever one comes to the top of your head first.
OK? Got a project picked out?
Great.
Now – working quickly and without pondering – answer YES or NO to these 5 questions:
1. Is this project important to you?
2. Will completing this project make a difference in your life?
3. Will completing this project make a difference in the world?
4. Does your soul ache to do it?
5. Ten years from now, will it matter whether you have done this or not?
Good.
Take a minute to make a note about what you notice about your answers.
And if you discovered that the project you were thinking about really doesn’t matter to you, then maybe think of another project that does. (And for crying out loud – cross that first one off your list or delegate it or something! Why torture yourself about something you don’t even care about!)
Honey, it is time to move your work to a bigger venue. Today, if possible.
I know it doesn’t feel ready and I know you’re not sure how and I know the new website isn’t up yet and you haven’t lost the weight and your not sure if your skills are what they should be and there are those changes that you know really need to be done before anyone sees it and..and…and…
I get it.
Me, too.
But seriously – we are in no position to judge our own work. And we’re certainly in no position to judge the work that’s been sitting there pawing at the front door waiting to go out for heaven-knows-how-long.
So take a chance. Publish it. Send it out. Post a picture of it. Share it. Make a one-minute movie of it.
Just get it out there so that we have a chance to enjoy it, too.
Because perhaps the most important part of art is what the audience brings to the piece, and if you don’t share it, we can’t experience it.
And let me know how it goes for you, OK?
P.S. Have you signed up for the “Procrastination Is Genius In Disguise” teleclass tomorrow 10/6? Register for free here: http://www.GetItDoneTeleclass.com (no cost, no commitment, no commute!) and you’ll get the recording as my gift to you, too! YAY!
You know that panicky feeling you get when you’re about to make a big move? Don’t let it deter you – it’s only old ghosts and shadows that will disappear as the sun rises.
Sitting at my desk a few weeks ago, about to hit the button that would send out the announcement about the publication of “By The Way, You Look Really Great Today” to my whole list, I started to feel a little nauseated.
I started to wonder if maybe I shouldn’t wait until tomorrow.
I started to think that maybe the book wasn’t really complete after all, and perhaps I should go back and revise it.
I started to doubt the cover art, the literary merit and the wisdom of even trying such a project.
Yep – me – the person who spends all day telling other people to screw up their courage and share their art – was shocked to find out that what I really wanted was to run away and hide.
And I remembered back to previous experiences like it, and realized that that panicky feeling had led me to do things like:
– get sick
– set a nearly-finished project down and start something new
– create a crisis or emergency
– go clean out my sock drawer
– pick a fight with someone I love
– talk myself out of the launch
Sad, and kind of funny, too.
So next time you’re getting that top-of-the-roller-coaster feeling, just acknowledge it and keep moving. Say a prayer for the best possible outcome for all concerned, release your attachment to the results (sure, that’s easy, right? 🙂 and just keep putting one foot in front of the other.
You’ve come this far – don’t abandon yourself now.
