It’s a cold, empty feeling, that not-having-faith-in-yourself feeling.
Especially in this bright-eyed American culture of mandatory optimism.
But some days, it’s just not there. You don’t feel worthy, you don’t feel special, you don’t feel like your projects are even worth your while, much less anyone else’s while.
And you think, “I’ve got to generate more faith in myself. I must believe in myself more. I must increase my confidence!” And like a child making a wish, you squish your eyes closed and clench your fists and search in vain for even the slightest spark of faith, feeling ever more desolate.
Now anyone can tell you that eyes-closed-and-fists-clenched is no way to engage with the world.
And nothing destroys faith more quickly than a voice saying, “You’ve got to have faith in yourself!” Ugh.
(Much like the directive, “Be creative,” a phrase that has the amazing power to instantly annihilate the creativity of every single person in earshot.)
Here’s the good news: you don’t need to generate faith.
You just need to accept it.
Faith is not something that you have find within, it is a gift that is given to you from without.
Faith has already been extended to you:
I have faith in you.
God (however you want to understand that word) has faith in you.
Your friends have faith in you.
Your customers, clients and students have faith in you.
Your favorite teachers have faith in you.
The flowers in the garden have faith in you.
Every newborn has faith in you.
All you need to do is open yourself up to OUR faith – humbly accept our belief that you can do the work and do it well – and begin.
You don’t need to fake confidence yourself; you need to borrow confidence from us.
After all, we’re pretty smart, and we know you pretty well, and truly, we have complete faith in you.
So open your eyes, open your hands and open your heart and allow yourself to feel the years and years of faith, confidence and praise that has been heaped upon you, and then, honey — get to work.
Your first idea is fine. Even if you think it’s kind of dumb. Probably even ESPECIALLY if you think it’s kind of dumb.
And if turns out that your first thought isn’t so hot after all, you’ll find out: FROM OTHER PEOPLE. That’s right – you don’t get to decide if it’s good based on some weird standard inside your head; you let the marketplace decide for themselves if it’s good for them.
And if it isn’t, you’ll fix it…because that’s just how you roll.
Those questions and anxieties that have plagued you your whole life are reflections of a mystery.
So the recurrent thought, “I’m Unlovable” might contain the Mystery of Love, and what it means to love and be loved.
The recurrent thought, “I’m Not As Good As I Should Be” points to the Mystery of Good (what is it? how do we know?) and the Mystery of Should.
And the thought, “I Don’t Belong” might indicate an interest in both the Mystery of “I” and the Mystery of Belonging. (This is one of my personal favorites.)
Instead of fighting, running, ignoring or defying those troubling thoughts, why not just sit with it?
What does the question mean?
Where do you see this question reflected in the culture?
Where is the center or middle of the Mystery?
When have you felt truly on top of this Mystery?
How has your life’s work brought you deeper into this Mystery?
No right answers here…just an opportunity to sit with it.
Here’s Reason #2 why Procrastination Is Genius In Disguise:
Go here to get the recording (it’s waaaaaaaaaay down at the bottom of the page): http://www.getitdoneteleclass.com/fall/
We discussed in yesterday’s email about how Procrastination is your friend, because it is really just a REMINDER about your DESIRE.
After all this time, you are still thinking about it. It hasn’t fallen away like some things do.
That’s great! When your desire for a project stands the test of time, that’s great!
And here’s another way Procrastination Is Genius – and this is the Disguise part – once you get underneath all that blame and nagging, you have all the information you need to move forward.
The desire itself contains within it all the information about what your next move should be (more on this when we get to Reason #7).
We just have to quiet the mind a bit in order to hear the answer.
Here’s an example: Susan’s Unfinished Book
Susan wants to finish the book she started writing three years ago. When she began the project she wrote like wildfire, but then she started to falter. Then her daughter fell ill, so Susan dropped the project altogether to care for her over the next few months. Next thing you know, her daughter has fully recovered and Susan’s got 150 pages gathering dust.
Every day Susan berates herself for having put the project down.
Every day she re-runs old mental tapes about how she should have done things differently and how it’s probably too late now.
Every day she picks at herself, going back and forth about whether her book was ever even a good idea to begin with.
Self-Doubt Can Be Paralyzing
Here’s what I notice: all that self-doubt is paralyzing.
And unless Susan finds some peace around what’s already transpired with her book, she’s going to have a hard time moving forward.
So let’s pause our story here and focus on that for a moment. Let’s get beyond all the eye-rolling and recriminations and self-blame and see if we can’t get to the TRUTH of what’s been going on here.
Peaceful Thought: It Just Hasn’t Been The Right Time
What I know is true is this: You haven’t moved forward on your projects yet because it hasn’t been the right time.
Maybe it hasn’t been the right time because of life circumstance (like having a baby or a health issue or a money issue) or maybe it hasn’t been the right time because you haven’t been ready (you didn’t know enough, spiritual development, that mysterious “right moment” thing) or maybe you’ve needed to wait for some technology to be invented, or you’ve needed to wait for the right people or the right partner.
But whatever the reason: it just hasn’t been the right time.
And I know that for a fact because if it had been the right time, you would have done it.
So let that sink in and think about how that might be true for you: Up to now, it just hasn’t been the right time.
Even say it out loud to yourself: “Up to now, it just hasn’t been the right time.”
Maybe make some notes about what you notice about this concept in relationship to your own project.
Good.
MORE TOMORROW….
And if you’d like help moving forward on your projects, consider the Get It Done Teleclass (www.GetItDoneTeleclass.com/fall) that starts next week. I’d love to have you there.
